Learning What It Is Really About

clothespins on lion's balls. they don't get him down.
Clothespins on lion’s balls. They don’t get him down.

Monday night my back was still hurting, but not painful when lying on my back. True to her word, Mrs. Lion got out her bag of tricks and applied clothespins to my balls. She didn’t use the nasty kind, so discomfort was minimal. In fact, it felt rather good. She started while I was still soft, but by the time she loaded me up, I was rock hard.

After a few minutes she removed the clothespins and began teasing me. It took a while to get me very excited; I guess the back pain got in the way. She kept working and got me to the very edge. I thought I was going to have a ruined orgasm. But no, she got to the very edge and stopped. Whew! That’s the closest we ever came.

She continued for a few more trips to the edge. I was panting by the time she finished. Part of me wished she would have given me an orgasm. But of course she didn’t. December 14 is still a way in the future.

As I wrote recently, things that were nearly inconceivable a year ago, are now part of our daily routine.  It no longer feels odd that I am always locked in a chastity device. In fact, I feel a bit naked without it. I’ve stopped worrying if people will see it under my clothes. It’s part of me now. Of course there are times when I wish I could have an orgasm and I know I can’t. It isn’t always that sexy, submissive feeling it was in the beginning. Sometimes it is just annoying that I can’t decide when to get off.

However, that’s exactly how it should feel. I wanted to surrender sexual control. I didn’t necessarily want to suffer long periods of abstinence, but I wanted to give up control of my arousal and orgasms. By definition, it means that how I feel about getting off is never the point. I am beginning to accept that, but it will take more time before it becomes second nature.

What I am learning is that most guys, when they first start out, have no idea what enforced chastity is all about. For a while it feels like a very exciting form of foreplay. But in time, at least for me, the real meaning starts soaking in; my sexual pleasure is completely out of my control. That can be big fun like it was in the beginning. It can also be sad when I realize that I want sex and have no way to do anything about it. Mostly, thought, it feels like sex doesn’t belong to me. It’s a treat that Mrs. Lion can give me. It isn’t something I have a right to feel. It’s a great treat and one I would work hard to earn.

The key is that a part of my body, my male identity is now under the control of another person. Orgasms are like lobsters. I love them but only get them on special occasions. Thank goodness Mrs.Lion enjoys getting me off. Lions aren’t very good at begging.