December 2014 (Page 14)

Yesterday Lion went to the doctor for his back. He had to strip down to his undies and he was concerned that the cage might be seen. I told him that’s what the emergency key is for. Luckily he was given a gown so he was hidden anyway.

Not that he goes to the doctor all that often, but I was still at work with no real possibility of leaving for at least an hour. I couldn’t have met Lion to unlock him. Even if I could have left I would have had to stop at home to get my key and, with traffic, it would have taken me too long to get there. This is why I insisted he take his emergency key with him. (He was only bringing it with us on our trips in case I forgot mine. That defeated the purpose entirely.)

I think he sees it as a source of pride that he has never had to remove his cage. Or tried to escape, for that matter. He tells me about people who buy cages just to try to get out of them. My Lion is not a Houdini. Even in the face of being discovered he was reluctant to use his key. When he said he had an appointment I never thought about the cage. Why would I? I’m not wearing it. I was more concerned with the fact that his back was hurting enough that he needed to see a doctor. If I had thought about it I would have told him it was ok if he needed to remove it. He probably wouldn’t have, but it would have been fine. Had he removed it even without my prior approval it would have been fine. He’s a big boy. He knows what constitutes an emergency.

In hindsight, I should probably be more aware of the cage in these circumstances. I should have told him to take the cage off. Giving him permission adds an element of decision on his part. He’s allowed to take it off but does he have to? Theoretically he wouldn’t be able to argue if I tell him to. Lesson learned. Now all I have to do is remember it in the future.

Mrs. Lion has added a new wrinkle to our play: she is planning to offer me trades for an orgasm. She wrote about this in her post yesterday. Her idea is intriguing. She plans to offer me a favorite way to come in exchange for extending my wait time. It’s pure supply-side economics. If I am super horny and there are many days to wait, she will offer the extremely tempting lion ride in exchange for a long extension of my wait time. Of course,  giving me that trade does reset my biological clock. For example if I have a week to wait and she offers me a favorite orgasm in exchange for an additional week, it doesn’t really matter how long I waited prior to the offer. My clock resets, so my new wait will be two weeks. Essentially we are setting a new wait. Since I don’t know how long my next wait would be anyway, my decision is a gamble.

That, of course, is the idea. If, for example, she offers me an orgasm in exchange for an addtional two weeks and I have one week remaining, then my new wait is three weeks. If I don’t take the deal and wait a week, my new wait  might be three weeks anyway. Or, if my next scheduled wait was only 10 days, then I effectively screwed myself.

I have to give her credit for this plan. It’s a diabolical game. I asked Mrs. Lion if she thought this was fun for her. All she would say is that she knew I would like it. Messing around with the time between orgasms is very high stakes for me. I really care about getting to come. I love my orgasms. Taking any away is a big deal to me. Unlike spanking, which I love to hate, reducing my opportunities to come hits me where it hurts. That is the point of the game. She is putting me in charge of deciding what happens next. A wrong decision and I lose out in a way that hurts.

The idea is brilliant. I am at my most vulnerable when I really want to come. But now there is a price for relief. Is it worth that chance to be ridden to orgasm if I have to wait a long time for my next chance to come? Mrs. Lion has been very strong about not giving me unscheduled orgasms. So I know that my moment of ecstasy is going to cost me a long time until my next one. Maybe it isn’t. That’s the thing. If I accept the deal and it means a 10 day wait it might not be so bad if Mrs. Lion’s next scheduled wait is 15 days. That’s the gamble.

It’s the Lady or the Tiger. Diabolical Mrs. Lion!

This week has been difficult. We are coming off a four day weekend. I started my new hours. Lion hit his sixth day after orgasm. Lion also hurt his back the other day so he’s been trying not to move around a lot. Neither of us has been sleeping well. It all adds up to a whole lot of nothing.

We played Tuesday night but not for long. Lion wasn’t really into it. We were both tired. Last night I was tired and he was hurting. Life has definitely intruded again. Depending on how he feels tonight we may be lucky if we can snuggle without causing him too much pain. I had a passing thought about giving him a butt plug last night but when I got home he was flat on his back in bed. No butt plug for Lion.

If I had been a “real” top, the internet kind, I would have told him to suck it up and give me his butt. He would have had to deal with the pain from his back and the butt plug and maybe I would have even spanked him for good measure. While wearing my leather bustier and 4 inch stilettos. And then I would have made him kneel on the floor so I could put my feet up on him while I watched tv. I think we’re both glad I’m not a “real” top.

The way I look at it is that my first responsibility is to Lion. I do this kinky stuff because he wants me to. But even if I was the one with the lust for red Lion buns and a frustrated Mr. Weenie, I would still be responsible for his well being. There is no way we can adhere to an every other day play schedule if one of us doesn’t feel like playing. What happens tomorrow night if he isn’t feeling up to his orgasm? Nothing. I won’t force him to have it. He can have it the next day. Or the next day. Or whenever he feels well enough.

Will I add time to his next wait as retribution? Why would I do that? He feels bad enough that his back hurts. He’ll feel bad if he has to miss a scheduled orgasm. Why make him feel worse by extending his wait time? If anything, I’d be more prone to cutting the wait time for the next orgasm. Remember, I love giving him orgasms. Making him wait longer punishes me too. Can’t have that!

So tonight I will go home and make Lion as comfortable as possible. If he is up to playing we can play. I just don’t want him to feel that he has to.

No matter how much I want to separate our enforced chastity from the rest of our lives, it just isn’t possible. Theoretically, sex should be separate from everything else. Popular myth claims that we males are immune to life intruding on our interest in sex. Guess what? It’s a myth; at least in my case.

Tuesday night Mrs. Lion teased me. She had to work hard to get me to the point where I even showed serious interest in an orgasm. It wasn’t that I had come so recently that I didn’t care. Not at all. I was tired and worried. Thankfully, Mrs. Lion understood and didn’t take it personally.

Enforced chastity is, after all, sex. At first glance one would think that it is just the opposite: the prevention of sex. If that were the case, I would be locked in my Jail Bird and left alone. Of course, that isn’t what happens at all. I am teased regularly so that I can’t forget what I am missing. If I lose interest in orgasm, then the enforced chastity has no value in controlling me.

That brings me to something that has been on my mind. Based on reading the blogs and forums, it’s clear to me that enforced chastity isn’t the same for everyone. There are men who are submissive and see the enforced prevention of arousal and orgasm as a way to better submit to their partners.

There are guys who want to avoid orgasm completely. They cite many reasons that include hating the depression that follows when they ejaculate. Others, want to “cure” bad habits like frequent masturbation or even infidelity. Some use enforced chastity as a springboard to experience other sexual activities without the possibility of coming themselves.

It seems that orgasm control is almost never the sole reason men get into enforced chastity. We all seem to have other kinks that are served by our being caged. My main one is sexual control. I am turned on by Mrs. Lion taking control of some parts of my life. I also like discipline. So, just being locked up wouldn’t really satisfy my needs.

Keyholders most often get involved because they want to make their partners happy. This isn’t any different than other power exchange activities. Topping is a service to the bottom. There are certainly exceptions to this where the keyholders get great satisfaction from their roles. But those exceptions are very rare.

My point is that chances are pretty good you don’t share all of my kinks. That doesn’t mean we can’t learn from each other.