Poor Mrs. Lion is still under the weather. She keeps worrying about my sexual happiness. I need her to feel better more than I need teasing or an orgasm. As she wrote in her post yesterday, I am cage free until my comes back from Mature Metal. I have to admit that being cage free feels odd to me. After almost a year of full-time wear, I am very used to it. It feels a bit like walking around without my wedding ring.
It may sound strange, but what started out as a kink I wanted to try has turned into something that has vastly improved our relationship. As Mrs. Lion wrote yesterday, we both approached enforced male chastity as a power exchange game in which I temporarily relinquished sexual control to Mrs. Lion. Over the years we have tried other top/bottom games. Mrs. Lion has spanked me, tied me up, and inserted various objects in my butt. She has also tied up my cock and balls and applied Icy Hot, clothespins, and velcro to sensitive spots. In fact, she still does.
She approached locking me up as a similar game that supported my need for power exchange. She has always approached these things as puzzling ways to make me happy. She’s never understood them, but has done them because she knows I want the play.
When I approached her about enforced male chastity she wasn’t very surprised. I could see the inward eye-roll as I told her what I wanted her to do. As with the other things I have requested, she agreed. S0 for the first few months she indulged my kink purely out of love for me.
Slowly, almost too slow to notice, things started to change. Being locked in a chastity device stopped being sexually exciting fun. Instead, it became part of me. Much of the time I forgot it was even there. I stopped thinking about masturbating and completely accepted that any sexual pleasure would come from Mrs. Lion on her terms.
She changed too. She came to understand that my sexual helplessness imposed a responsibility on her. She realized that she truly owned any sexual pleasure I might have. Before being caged, she didn’t really think about that part of me. As our sex life diminished, she wasn’t consciously aware that I was missing the sexual pleasure we shared. We never stopped loving each other and remained best friends totally committed to each other. But the sex virtually stopped.
Once I was locked up, she was forced to consider my sexual health. She knew I was incapable of as little as an erection without her taking action; unlocking me. She also thought about the fact that we were both missing the fun we had earlier in our relationship.
We had the blog and both of us read as well as wrote posts here. Mrs. Lion committed to regular teasing and orgasms for me. She set up an every-other-day schedule for teasing. Later, she announced orgasm dates for me. Over time, the teasing included anal and other play as well. I was having an active sex life again! Even with the fact that my orgasms are not terribly frequent, I have had more in the last year than in the preceding five. I’ve had more play than in the last ten.
Most recently, Mrs. Lion decided that it wasn’t fair to deprive me of her orgasms. She loves to make me come and she knows I feel the same way about giving orgasms to her. So now she schedules her orgasms the same way she schedules mine. We both hope that frequent orgasms for her will reawaken her libido.
You could argue that we could have made all this progress without enforced male chastity. Maybe so. But we didn’t. That cage locking up my penis made us both continuously aware that my ability to enjoy sex is owned by my lioness. So even if she doesn’t need to think about her sexual pleasure, she has to consider mine.
The Jail Bird is a steel marriage counselor. It facilitates positive changes for us every day. Would this work for others? I think it will; maybe not for everyone, but for people who, like us, lost that sexual spark. It’s ironic that by denying sexual access, the device has actually revitalized our sex lives. Pretty cool!