The Uninvolved Keyholder

I’ve noticed through reading blogs and forum posts, that there is a wide range of keyholder involvement across the enforced chastity spectrum. At one end of the range are the keyholders who essentially remain removed from the entire process and limit their involvement to holding the key to the chastity device and handing it back to the caged male for occasional masturbation. At the other end is the keyholder who controls every aspect of the male’s sex life and provides a range of stimulation as well as releases.

In the blogosphere this spectrum is reflected very clearly. Many, if not the overwhelming majority, of enforced chastity blogs and forum posts are from males whose keyholders are fairly uninvolved in their partner’s chastity experience. In very rare cases, highly involved keyholders actually participate with writing of their own. I am one of the lucky few whose keyholder is not only actively involved, but also writes here in the Male Chastity Journal.

The uninvolved keyholder is an anomaly in the spectrum of power exchange relationships. I can’t think of any other master-slave, top-bottom, femdom, male dominant that work without a very active top or dominant partner. It could be that, unlike any other form of restraint, male chastity devices are intended to be worn without supervision. Any other form of bondage requires supervision for safety’s sake. Also, I can’t think of any other form of bondage that can be applied for years on end.

The hardware is effective. The male is unable to achieve erection or orgasm by normal means. So, if she so chooses, the keyholder can manage his chastity without ever touching him. In fact, there are any number of “mistresses” who make good money holding keys for solitary enforced chastity practitioners.

There appears to be a lot of men who want their chastity experience in order to eliminate orgasm from their lives. They give a lot of reasons ranging from advanced age to unhappiness with the depression they feel after coming. It’s unclear to me why there is a need for the device if the desire to avoid orgasm originates with the male.

In other cases, the keyholder has an issue with male orgasm. Some dislike semen and see enforced chastity as one way to avoid the mess. Others don’t want traditional intercourse and use enforced chastity as a way to avoid it by providing hand release only. Since the male is locked up, he has no real choice on how he gets to come.

These aren’t cruel measures. Bear in mind that virtually all enforced chastity originates with the male who wants to be locked in a chastity device. I’m sure there are cases where the woman suggested it, but they are as rare as dodo birds. However, once the male suggests it, an opportunity presents itself to the new keyholder. She can now limit her mate’s sexual activities to suit her own preferences. What’s more, she will make him happy while doing things he would have hated before. Why? Because he is distracted by his enforced chastity; something he has wanted and finds exciting and satisfying.

I suspect that the reason most enforced chastity ends very quickly is because no value proposition presents itself. The male finds it exciting to be locked up; for a while. The keyholder sees this as just another selfish sexual activity her partner wants from her. When he starts getting tired of being locked up, she is perfectly happy to give him the key and give up. After all, it’s even more work to deal with a partner who whines about being in a chastity device.

People who practice enforced male chastity form a very small group. Couples who continue doing it for more than a year are extremely rare. Mrs. Lion and I now belong to that club. The reason we do is because enforced male chastity has given both of us significant benefits. Our sex life is better and we have found a communication channel that is bringing us happiness. It’s unlikely I would ask Mrs. Lion to give me the key and end this. If I did, I am very sure her answer would be, “No!”

Caged male half of a happy couple practicing enforced male chastity and domestic discipline. Locked since 1/2014. Domestic discipline 3/2015. Lion's first mouth soaping was 7/17.

Posted in Femdom, Lion's Journal, Living with chastity
One comment on “The Uninvolved Keyholder
  1. Ky says:

    I took on the keys of a sub with no experience as a keyholder and was unsure of how I would feel. At first I was frustrated and participated to make my sub happy because I’m not a typical Dom, my sub’s emotional health and happiness always come first. As we have been together we have come to love each other and I have researched being a better keyholder. I now embrace being a keyholder and love the happiness it brings both of us. I truly believe we are closer than we ever would have been if this dynamic was not in our lives. While we don’t keep a journal and the calendar is in my head, we have fun playing together and our love for each other is not based on sex because that is something we rarely do. It had deepened our emotional connection and I wouldn’t want our relationship to ever change.I love having my keys and will never give them up, they are a part of me as he is.

What do you think?