Mrs. Lion has commented that she doesn’t understand why I want my penis locked up, my butt spanked, or clothespins attached to my balls. She said she knows I like pain and doesn’t understand that either. I don’t think I am very different from other guys who want enforced chastity. I realize that when I asked Mrs. Lion to be my keyholder, I presented her with requests that just didn’t seem to make sense. I think this is true of other women when their partner presents the concept of enforced male chastity. Maybe my explanation of what makes me tick — at least what I think makes me tick — can shed a little light on the subject.
If I like to come so much, why in the world would I want my lioness to withhold this from me? It does appear to be contradictory. I love to come. I don’t have any sexual dysfunction. So what’s going on? Well, it turns me on to feel that at least sexually, I have no control. For the same reason it is a huge turn on to be tied to the bed for sexual activity. When I first learned of the existence of male chastity devices and enforced chastity, I got an instant erection. Imagine, I could be locked in a device that would positively prevent me from any sexual pleasure until I am unlocked!
The key for me was that my sexual pleasure would not be under my control. I would be helpless to get release on my own. That’s what I want. It’s almost certainly what any male requesting enforced chastity wants. I know that Mrs. Lion was confused by this apparently contradictory request. To her, it appeared mean to prevent me from enjoying one of my greatest pleasures. The last thing she wants to be is mean. So my first task was to help her understand that she wasn’t being mean.
The best way I can explain the apparent paradox that I get more pleasure from denial and eventual release than from just release is to relate it to foreplay. Both men and women know that a slow buildup of excitement before going for the gold is much better than just going for the orgasm. Anticipation is sometimes better than the actual orgasm itself. Some caged males want to forgo orgasms entirely and have endless teasing because the sense of anticipation it causes is better than the climax for them. That’s not true for me.
However, it’s clear that the more buildup and teasing, even over many days or weeks, gives me a far greater release than ordinary orgasmic activity. There is a pretty reliable indicator of my level of arousal. The quantity of semen that I ejaculate seems to be proportional to the level of my arousal. An orgasm with little or no buildup will have very little or even no ejaculate. One where I have been kept on the edge for a long time, or have had other arousing activities will produce a copious flow. This happens completely out of my control. That doesn’t mean I don’t love an orgasm with no flow. It’s just that one with a lot of semen indicates I have been very aroused for some time.
One reason that keyholders are asked to regularly tease their partners to the edge of orgasm and then locked back up is that aside from being fun, the sense of powerlessness is increased since the male has no way to get the ultimate satisfaction. That seems mean, right? Well it isn’t. It’s a very primal way the male can deeply feel your control. Even after I calm down and the cage goes back on, my need to orgasm remains and each twinge I feel reminds me that I have surrendered control. So, as my keyholder, when she teases me, Mrs. Lion provides me with a different kind of pleasure: the feeling of sexual submission, loss of control.
I know this activity is consensual. I asked for it, after all. But my greatest arousal and satisfaction comes from my belief that I no longer have to consent; I’ve given away my right to stop this train. I want to believe at the deepest level that I have surrendered my right to return to our old ways forever. Clearly as a rational being I know that isn’t true. So, instead we have a date, March 2016, until which I have no choice at all; for that matter, neither does Mrs. Lion. This is a realistic surrender since it has a point at which we can stop. Now, in my mind I want that point to be less than a “get out of jail free” card for me. Instead, I want it to be a time I can ask for release, but Mrs. Lion can refuse. In fact, I want her to refuse. I say that now, but may not mean it then. Too bad. That’s the point. I want to believe that I made this deal and I can’t back out.
This seems to be one of the most difficult concepts for my dear keyholder to understand. She is doing this to make me happy. If I decide I am not happy, she wouldn’t want to continue. But my perverse nature likes that I will hate to continue. It’s the same with punishment. I hate and try to escape punishment spankings. But I actually want them. The fact that I try to escape generally stops Mrs. Lion. I can’t help it at the time, but I always regret that I do. I want her to straddle me to keep me on my tummy, ass available for her ministrations. I absolutely don’t want it while she is doing it, but I truly want it. It makes me happy sometimes to be made unhappy.
That is the crux of enforced chastity. Loss of control can only be demonstrated by taking away something that is truly wanted. Preventing me from an orgasm for a length of time I might probably wait on my own doesn’t demonstrate control. Making me wait until I am really desperate does show who is in charge. That doesn’t mean I have to wait until desperation every single time. Even a relatively short wait feels controlling to me once I get it into my head that it is irrelevant how I feel about my orgasms. I get them when Mrs. Lion decides I should have them. My current wait is 11 days. It’s been over a week now and I really want that orgasm, but I still have at least three days to wait. Mrs. Lion can extend my wait at will. In the past she has given me “bonus orgasms” before my scheduled date. This time she hasn’t. I’m glad.
It’s not easy being a keyholder. I recognize that Mrs. Lion has to deal with my multilayered concept of pleasure. The surface layer is my normal, male wish to come. Beneath that is my desire to be controlled. Balancing the two is her challenge. That’s no easy task. She is learning how to keep that balance and I am very grateful to my dear lioness.