How Long Should He Wait?

One of the most difficult decisions a keyholder must make is how long her male has to wait between orgasms. Wait time is one of the key areas of enforced chastity fantasies. As a result, the Web abounds with hundreds of so-called “factual”discussions that specify exactly how you, the keyholder should set your male’s wait times. I’ve seen directions on exactly how to “train” him. One of the main reason I decided to start this blog was to provide a more factual view of enforced male chastity.

Men are all different. We share some common sexual plumbing and to some extent have the same sexual programming, but when you get down to things like frequency of orgasms, we are all very individual. I have no doubt that like me, your male gave you his ideas on exactly how you should manage his wait time. He’s been dreaming about this for a long time. As I’ve come to learn, my ideas had no basis in fact.

One typical fantasy is that the longer you make him wait, the hornier he will get. It turns out that this is completely false. Even if you tease him and edge him every day, he will lose interest in orgasm after a while. Yes, while you tease him he will desperately want to come, but as soon as you stop the desire will quickly die down. At what point this loss of constant need starts to diminish varies by male and also varies for each individual based on other things in his life. In general, this loss of interest starts around the tenth day.

I’ve read lots of accounts of this. I’ve just experienced it myself. Males report that anywhere from ten days to three weeks into a wait, desire to orgasm starts to diminish. The other day, after I had been waiting nine days and just after teasing me, Mrs. Lion asked if she should make me wait longer. I think she expected a, “Hell no!” from me. I barely reacted. I just told her that was up to her. The truth is that I didn’t feel any anxiety. Does that mean I won’t feel it if I do have to wait longer? Absolutely not! I want that orgasm. I’m just not that desperate. This doesn’t mean you need to make him wait less than 10 days. It just means that it is easier for him to manage waiting beyond that point.

That brings me to the big question: What is the point of making him wait? I think the typical reason is that it shows him your ability to control his sexual pleasure. That, after all, is the entire point of enforced chastity. Does that mean you need to constantly increase his wait times to demonstrate your control? In some cases that is exactly what the male wants. However, at least for me, this seems pointless. In my opinion, wait time can be used creatively to be almost a game that both male and keyholder can enjoy.

This doesn’t rule out long waits. The nature of the need for orgasm changes. On a wait when constant need for sex dies down, the desire is quickly rekindled during a teasing session. So, instead of me being tree-humping horny all the time, I get that way as soon as Mrs. Lion starts to play with my penis. So, the control isn’t diminished, its nature changes a little from a constant ache to episodic acute need to come. Still fun, right?

Mrs. Lion, with input from me, has been experimenting with wait times A while ago I asked if she could schedule my waits and let me know when I would have my next orgasm. My thinking was that I could anticipate the big day and Mrs. Lion could also tease me about it. It also meant that she could extend the date or shorten the wait at will, and since I am aware of the original plan, the impact of any changes would be strongly felt.

In practice it hasn’t quite worked out that way. She has given me “bonus orgasms” almost every time so that the scheduled date has become my “sure thing” and that I am likely to get some nice surprises along the way. I’m not complaining. It is fun to get extra orgasms. Only once has she extended my wait for a day.

The problem with changing a fixed date is that if it is extended, you will be disappointing someone you love. Unless you get pleasure from causing pain (not a bad thing!), you will feel badly doing this. If the extension is tied to a behavioral issue, it will help train your male, but will probably cause you some pain too.

I’m sure you have noticed that I’m not providing any real guidance. I can’t. This is something you have to work out on your own. Based on my experience I have a few ideas you might want to consider:

  • Instead of a fixed time, or for that matter in addition to it, base your decision to give him an orgasm on the way he reacts to your teasing, but, not necessarily in the way he might expect. If he is particularly desperate and will do anything for release, that’s a good time to lock him back up without an orgasm. Then, if you feel playful, the next time you tease him, give him something he has to do in order to come. You could time him and give him 30 seconds or so less than his normal time to come (of course you will have to know what that is). If he fails, tell him he has to wait another x days (at least enough to get him through another non-orgasmic teasing), then, try again.This sort of game is guaranteed to get his head and penis back in the game. And, since it is a game of sorts, you won’t have to feel badly if you make him wait longer. After all, if he really wanted to come, he would have when he had the chance.One note: unless you want to train him to come in less and less time, during the teasing session where you finally want him to come, let him go longer until he gets his release. He won’t notice. He will be too busy trying to finally get his orgasm.
  • Use orgasms as rewards. One popular fantasy is that the male only gets to come if he pleases his keyholder sufficiently. There are hundreds of ways guys have invented to do this, but the bottom line is that orgasms become rewards for good boys. I am pretty sure that true behavioral modification will not be the result of this activity, but it will be very satisfying to a male who likes that sort of thing. If he likes the idea of discipline, he will probably react well to the idea of rewards as well as punishment. An orgasm isn’t the only sexual reward you can offer. You can also offer an extra teasing session. Telling him he is a good boy and rubbing his balls or butt is another nice way to show appreciation. You get it.
  • Orgasm control training is another activity some males enjoy. In this, you let him know that he can only come when you give permission regardless of the stimulation. So, if you are jerking him off and he reaches the edge, he is supposed to learn to wait. Similarly, during intercourse he is not allowed to come without permission. Realistically, males can’t truly control this reaction completely. They can learn to sense the point of no return and stop stimulation. This works with penetration. If you are using your hand or mouth, he will have very limited ability to postpone the inevitable. If you let him ask you to stop to avoid coming, he will learn to control his orgasms.This sort of “training” is a nice way to vary the sexual experiences he gets. If he fails and comes, some sort of “punishment” is in order. If you are so inclined, you can spank him. Or, you can extend his wait time. Even if you have no set wait time, you can tell him that the earliest you will even consider giving him release will be x days. Alternately, you can make him wait x days till his next teasing session. We boys love our teasing sessions. Remember, this is for fun, so don’t be too harsh.

I think you can see where this is going. Wait times are a key part of every caged male’s fantasy. Many want long waits. Some, like me, don’t. It doesn’t matter. What we all want is to feel that you are in control.

 

Caged male half of a happy couple practicing enforced male chastity and domestic discipline. Locked since 1/2014. Domestic discipline 3/2015. Lion's first mouth soaping was 7/17.

Posted in Advice for a new keyholder, Chastity games, Discipline, Keyholder, Keyholder101, Lion's Journal, Male Control (training), Rewards