Think of enforced male chastity as a garden. There are an infinite number of possibilities. Some, like formal, English gardens require full time gardeners to keep it looking right. Others have just a few flowers and maybe a bush or two. This garden just needs occasional weeding. Others are justs completely wild. No attention at all is required.
Keyholding is just the same. You, the gardener, have to decide what sort of garden you want. If you really hate gardening (enforced chastity), you will want something that requires very little attention. This could be locking him up and then from time to time unlocking him and allowing him to masturbate while you watch. That’s probably the least you can do and have any chance of him staying with it.
The next step up is to unlock him more frequently, once or twice a week perhaps, and have him masturbate to the edge of orgasm one or more times. Much less frequently you can allow him to actually ejaculate. Many women prefer this hands-off approach. They don’t even touch the device or his penis. They have him lock and unlock himself. They simply hold the key. This approach works well for some.
A more formal garden requires more hands-on attention. The keyholder retains the key and control of the male’s penis. He never gets to masturbate or play with himself. She provides any stimulation he gets. She regularly unlocks him and teases him. This keeps his hormones flowing and his desperation to ejaculate at a high level. When she decides the time is right, she stimulates him to ejaculation. How she teases and stimulates is up to her. This is the sort of garden Mrs. Lion tends. I’m not allowed sexual contact with my penis and she provides any sexual pleasure I am allowed. She hasn’t explicitly prohibited me from touching when I am wild, but my assumption is that this would be frowned upon.
The most formal garden that approaches a full-time job is a full-on female led relationship. In this garden, the caged male is required to provide very frequent sexual services for his keyholder including intercourse without ejaculation. She trains her male to delay his ejaculation as much as possible. He is required to provide extremely frequent sexual services without anything in return. He gets orgasms very infrequently. This sort of garden is the usual male enforced chastity fantasy. It is very rare in real life.
No keyholder exactly matches any one of these scenarios. In fact, within a single relationship, the garden type may vary considerably over time. Over the last year, Mrs. Lion has been experimenting with what will work for each of us. I expect her to change our garden often until it is just what she wants.
As a new keyholder, it’s important for you to separate reality from fantasy. I think, based on our experience, that it works best if you simplify things as much as you can. For starters, think of yourself as managing his ejaculation and nothing more.
If he imagines that he wants to be locked up for long periods of time, chances are good that his body won’t take well to that in practice. How often did he ejaculate before being locked up? It’s important to learn from him how often he masturbated and, of course, you know how often you and he had sex. If it turns out that he ejaculated once a week or more, then he needs to learn to manage more time gradually. If he has been very sexually inactive, then start with a longer initial wait time.
There are two sides to enforced chastity. The obvious one is how long to make him wait between orgasms. The more subtle one is how often do you want him to ejaculate. If you want to increase his sexual activity, you can do it. You are in charge. A good starting plan is to unlock and tease him very frequently, even daily. See if you can get him fairly close to ejaculating each time, but don’t let him finish. Lock him up immediately after you are done.
In the beginning, he will probably resist such frequent stimulation. Do it anyway. Then, perhaps after a week or so of this, masturbate him to orgasm. Rinse and repeat. The key to all of this stuff is patience and repetition. Mrs. Lion has no strong feelings about how long I wait, so she hasn’t been training me for longer waits. However, she has planned some. She’s done that, I think, to make things more interesting for me. It will certainly do that. The point is to gradually train your caged male. If he is comfortable, or at least minimally uncomfortable about his waits, he can learn to wait as long as you want.
We males tend to be hardware centered. I know that I spent endless hours researching and thinking about chastity devices before actually ordering one. Most of the questions asked about enforced chastity center on the hardware as well. We present our keyholders with elaborate fantasies disguised as accurate information about how to manage our chastity. We seem to make things as difficult as possible for our novice keyholders.
The most common reason a woman agrees to be a keyholder is that she wants to make her partner happy. Very few women fantasize about locking up their partners’ penises. It just doesn’t come up. When confronted with a man asking to have his penis locked up, it generally is a surprise.
The obvious conclusion a new keyholder might reach is that her partner’s request to be forcibly prevented from erection and orgasm is that he wants her to lock him up and then at some point let him out for an orgasm. Of course, we males make sure she understands exactly how we want it to work; at least many of us do.
These fantasies are generally quite complex. As a keyholder, you might find yourself wanting to refuse any part of such an elaborate dance. Or, you might agree and then decide that no action is better than all that fantasy stuff. Most likely, you will give it a try for a while. If the male spends too much of your time with chastity talk and whines for attention, you will probably give him back his key.
Like a garden, enforced chastity requires tending. How much is determined by what kind of garden you want. If you ignore your garden, chances are very good it will go to weeds and stop being a garden at all.