Lion gives me way too much credit. I used the butt plug last night because after my post yesterday he said he might be too sore for anything else. I told him there were a lot of other ways to play with him than just teasing him. Why did I seem a little more abrupt with it than other times? He was in an awkward position. I probably should have used more lube, but I figured it wouldn’t have gone in as well as it did if he needed more lube. There has been no new leaf turned over.
I did download some e-books to do research. Lion says he doesn’t want to be my only source. He suggested reading some of the blogs he reads. Wouldn’t they then be the same source? Am I over thinking that? Probably. The first book I read was all about reawakening the intimacy and then moved into why and how people do chastity. Very basic. We’re past that. I haven’t looked at the second book yet. I haven’t looked at any of the blogs.
I guess I’m unsure what I’m supposed to be learning. Is he waiting for me to discover a new thing that I just have to try? Why would I want to try it? Does he want to try it? I know he wants me to find something I enjoy. I know he thinks if I don’t get something out of it then it will never last. I do get something out of it. It makes him happy. Why can’t that be my thing?
I’ll look at the blogs and the other book. I’ll try to figure out some way to punish him for things. One thing will be for interrupting me. Another might be suggesting I read blogs and books to find something I enjoy. Just kidding, Lion. Sort of.