Tight, Sexual Focus

I’ve been thinking about changes enforced chastity has made in me; not the obvious ones like losing access to my penis, but more subtle effects it has had on me. Most interesting I think is that I am much more sexually focused. Before being locked in a chastity device, my thoughts of sex were fairly random. If I saw a pretty woman or something else happened to turn my thoughts toward sex, I enjoyed a short diverting fantasy. But sex was never top of mind for me unless it was about to happen.

That may be oversimplifying, but in fact, sexual thoughts were more diffused and reserved for situations where there was some sort of stimulus. Of course, I’m no teenager and my hormones are not running wild. If I were much younger things might be different.

Now that I have been wearing a chastity device for a year, I’ve noticed that the way I think about sex has changed. I rarely, if ever, respond to visual stimulus. Yes, I still really like a cute female ass, but I don’t react. It’s less visceral and more academic, like seeing a fine painting and admiring the artist’s technique. I’m aware that the Jail Bird is locked on my penis and that I couldn’t do anything about that cute butt even if she wanted me to have sex with her. The fantasy just won’t work that way.

I am much more aware that I am horny when I am wearing the device. I want release. My attention is focused on getting penile stimulation; maybe not orgasm, but attention. My sexual thoughts are on what could happen to my penis if Mrs. Lion unlocks it.

Of course it isn’t that simple. In my case, Mrs. Lion hasn’t been interested in having me sexually please her. So my focus has been on my own sensations. However, while I’ve always loved giving her orgasms, the ones she lets me give her now are much more intense for me. They arouse me more and I love seeing her experience intense orgasms.

My release or teasing is generally by hand; not mine, hers. In the last month or so, I have been out of my cage twice for about ten days each time. During that time, I’ve noticed that in the shower and in bed, I don’t react at all to my own touch. I wasn’t trying to get off, but I was curious to see how it felt to get hard on my own. I didn’t.

I think that the cage has the effect of sexually focusing me on those very short intervals when I am unlocked for sexual activities. I can feel myself getting conditioned to respond to the stimulus Mrs. Lion gives me at those times. I find myself craving her touch since I associate that with my only source of sexual pleasure. She also uses her mouth, but only after manual stimulation. Another blogger who has been involved in enforced chastity for years commented that his wife almost always provides him with stimulation by letting him fuck her. He has learned to associate her vagina with his pleasure.

You may be thinking that all heterosexual men associate vaginas with sexual pleasure. Of course you are right. But his focus is more intense I think. Most of us think of vaginal sex as a most desirable activity, but to him it is his only opportunity for arousal and occasional release.

The very nature of our chastity devices makes this sort of focus inevitable over time. I wonder how many of our keyholders realize this. I suspect that we get conditioned without conscious planning by our keyholders. I’m sure Mrs. Lion didn’t plan on conditioning me to strong sexual response to her touch.

Be that as it may, there is an opportunity for a keyholder to shape her partner’s sexual responses. It doesn’t require any conversations with him or careful planning. All that has to happen is she consistently give him stimulation (tease and deny) and release in the way she wishes him to focus. If he is like me, he will unconsciously focus on any pattern of behavior that occurs when he is unlocked. For example, if you always spank him before unlocking him, he will associate the spanking with his sexual stimulation. Or if you do any sort of ritual immediately prior to stimulating him, he will associate that ritual with sexual pleasure. I suspect as a keyholder, you might be able to make use of this conditioning for your amusement and pleasure.

Caged male half of a happy couple practicing enforced male chastity and domestic discipline. Locked since 1/2014. Domestic discipline 3/2015. Lion's first mouth soaping was 7/17.

Posted in Femdom, Keyholder, Keyholder101, Lion's Journal, Living with chastity, Male Control (training)
One comment on “Tight, Sexual Focus
  1. Thom says:

    I saw a neat thread online where a couple was playing around with conditioning. I dont think chastity was involved, but the male partner was always fed a yellow Neco wafer before being stimulated. I thought that was kind of a fun idea! Sounded like it worked as well as youd expect it to work.

What do you think?