One of the side effects of being caged full time, at least for me, is my tendency to obsess a bit about my lockup. It’s perfectly normal for a guy just getting into this to drive his new keyholder nuts in his attempt to make his chastity fantasy come to life. This has one of two possible outcomes: she will decide enforced chastity is too much trouble and quit, or she will try to work something out that she can handle.
I think we are fairly typical of the second group. Mrs. Lion has long known of my kinky side and has accepted that I have these inscrutable desires that do nothing for her. Fortunately, she also loves me a lot. So, a year ago when I asked her to lock me up she agreed. What followed was a negotiation that is still underway. It’s documented in this blog. If it wasn’t for Mrs. Lion’s good will and patience, this would have ended by now. But why haven’t we gotten things all settled?
That is a good question. There’s another too: If we haven’t worked it all out, isn’t it too much trouble to continue? My answer to both questions is that we are getting benefits from my chastity and the process of adapting. Mrs. Lion has been very gracious about indulging my kinks. The thing is that kinks, mine in particular, are rarely simple. Some, in fact, won’t work if I provide too much input. For example, I love to feel Mrs. Lion’s control. But feeling controlled requires Mrs. Lion to independently decide what happens to me.
This has been our major sticking point. The reason Mrs. Lion keeps me locked up is because she knows this is something I want. She wants to make me happy. That’s great. Our love for each other is amazing. But for me to feel control, I have to be made to do things I may not want to do. I need to be disciplined. Both of these kinks are driving poor Mrs. Lion crazy.
Let’s look at these one at a time. First, the toughest, discipline. This creates a big problem for two reasons: The first is that if discipline is to be part of our lives, Mrs. Lion needs reasons to discipline me. Second, once she has reasons, she has to watch out for transgressions and then remember to administer the appropriate punishments. I don’t have to do anything except accept Mrs. Lion’s discipline and obey or disobey my rules. It’s easy for me and tough for her. For the sake of this discussion, let’s assume she wants to train me to be pleasant and not lapse into being a snarky, grumpy lion. Good rule, right? It will make me an easier lion to be around. I’m sure that Mrs. Lion would notice when my attitude needs adjustment. That part is easy. But tracking and responding is considerable work.
Maybe she could have a system; notes in her iPhone or make me remember my infractions and recite them at discipline time. Both require effort on her part. At least making me remember them takes some burden off her; or does it? Won’t she need to remember too so she will know if I skip something? See? Not a bit easy. Assuming we get past that, she needs the time and energy to administer punishment. She also has to decide the appropriate penalty and administer the punishment. This could really drive her nuts. Worse, while she knows at one level that I really want this, it has to hurt to see me suffer even if I want it. So far, she has managed to extend my wait only once and then for a day. It’s not easy being my lioness!
The second part of this is the control itself. Mrs. Lion has gotten very good about making me wait. She independently decides on my wait times and, for the most part, resists giving me bonus orgasms when I am clearly very horny. I feel that as control. Score a big point for Mrs. Lion. So, what’s my problem? She is certainly controlling me sexually. I think it is great. Maybe I am just greedy. That’s a very bad trait for a bottom.
This neediness is a common disease among bottoms. I know it and I still do it. She should be saying, “I can’t ever make you happy!” But she doesn’t. She keeps trying. I feel like an ungrateful lout. The simple truth is that if she never does anything new, I am very very lucky. Instead, I keep talking about other things that might work for me. Every time I do, she feels that she isn’t doing a good job. She is doing a great job!
Thank you, my sweet lioness.
[ Mrs. Lion – Actually I do yell, “I can’t ever make you happy!” sometimes. Very loudly — in my head.]