Secrets Of Success

I tend to be pretty analytical, and I like to figure out what makes things work. In the case of my enforced male chastity, there are a number of things, that in my view, have helped us succeed. Not surprisingly, the most important has been communication. We’ve been able to maintain a two-way conversation about my lockup and its effect on both of us.

In the past we haven’t been very good at maintaining a dialogue about what works and doesn’t work sexually. Both of us seem to clam up when it comes to discussing what we want. We’ve started conversations, but they tend to just taper off with no resolution.

This time it’s different. The main change has been our daily, written communications. You read a good deal of it here in our blog. But we also share a lot via email and text messages. We’ve discovered that we are both more comfortable sharing sexual wants, needs, agreements, and disagreements in writing. That doesn’t mean that we don’t also talk. We do. But those conversations are fueled by what we write each other and you.

Any counselor will say that communication is the key to a good relationship. However, when it comes to establishing and maintaining a kink like enforced chastity, it is essential. I’ve been able to write about my fantasies and how I would like them to come to life. Mrs. Lion has been able to respond with what she feels she can do to make parts of that happen. She has also been able to let me know what works and doesn’t work for her.

If we haven’t been writing extensively about our experiences, we both would have made some bad assumptions. I would believe she does all those great things to me because it gives her sexual pleasure. I know it doesn’t. It makes her happy to make me happy. That, for me, is an insight. There are endless details we resolve here or in email that we would never have discussed verbally. Most importantly, we have both continually expressed our commitment to continue.

You don’t have to start a blog to make this work for you. There are a few options that everyone can employ. The first is to agree to write each other daily. Discuss feelings and wishes. React to each others writing and actions. Take risks and write about what you wish for. Write about what you would like to do for your partner. And, of course, read what your partner says.

Enforced chastity is a negotiation. I know that for many the dream is total surrender with no feedback to the keyholder. Please give that idea up right now. This is a consensual activity where both people have to provide input and feedback.

For example, I frequently remind Mrs. Lion that I like discipline. I buy her toys like a shock collar to “help” her discipline me. She replies that this is very difficult for her. She agrees to spank me sometimes and use the collar. I like that and agree. Over time, the discipline falls off a bit. I write about it. She replies. I come to realize that I expect much more than I can reasonably get. I also realize how much she is doing for me now. I understand and accept. More importantly, I am very happy with what she is doing.

I’m getting to say what I want. She is able to respond and help me accept what she can do. No resentment or guilt; well, at least not too much. Since we are committed to keeping me locked up, there are no deal breakers; just negotiation.

Change is rarely quick or smooth. In a year we have made a lot of progress. Our resolve and our love have grown along the way. If you ask me, the key to enforced male chastity is an honest, ongoing conversation. It’s working for us.

Caged male half of a happy couple practicing enforced male chastity and domestic discipline. Locked since 1/2014. Domestic discipline 3/2015. Lion’s first mouth soaping was 7/17.

What do you think?