Yesterday, my post was about our journey through enforced male chastity and beyond. This is part two: control. As Mrs. Lion has said, a good deal of what I wish for in terms of discipline would turn out to be horrible if she actually listened to my requests. Specifically, she is referring to my request for severe spanking if I do something wrong. I’ve told her about a video I recently saw where a man was spanked hard and fast with a hairbrush. You could see his butt change color with each swat.
She’s right. I would hate that. But, on some level do I need it? I have no idea. It is a fantasy, but certainly not a strong request. It is clear to me that I want to feel Mrs. Lion’s authority. Last week I got a bit of it. I was miserably horny I really wanted an orgasm. At one point she offered me a trade I didn’t accept. A day later I asked if I could come. Her answer:
“No, you have to wait.”
I didn’t like hearing that. The brat in me wanted it NOW. But I also liked it. I liked that Mrs. Lion put her paw down and that was that. She has a very sweet way of putting her paw down. Now, if I argue, I suggest that is a very good reason to spank me. I have said that I want her in charge. Resistance of any kind needs to be nipped in the bud. At least that is what I think. The main reason I don’t use my coupons is that they prevent me from a chance for a “Because I told you.” Once I get more of those, I will probably be very happy to cash them in.
I’ve wondered what all this is about. I love my independence. I am strong willed and can be stubborn. With all that, Mrs. Lion and I rarely butt heads. This is partly because she is so sweet and partly because we both truly want to make each other happy.
Here’s the hard part: Let’s say we both agree that what I really want is to feel her authority and that those nasty spankings are reserved for stubbornness and disobedience. We haven’t come up with many opportunities for me to obey or to be stubborn. So far, only my waits represent clear expressions of her authority. I can’t think of anything else where Mrs. Lion has the opportunity to say, “Because I said so.”
That’s good news really. We aren’t correcting problems, other than when I interrupt and Mrs. Lion rarely corrects me for that. Up until very recently, Mrs. Lion has been great about bonus orgasms. I love those, but each time I get one, it takes away a chance to say, “Too bad, Lion. You have to wait.” I am conflicted about losing those nice interludes.
Another possible area is making me do those things she knows I really dislike. They range from wearing a dry or worse, a wet diaper to painting my toenails or making me wear panties. Some guys really want those things. I absolutely don’t. I am not mentioning them here as a hint to get these things to happen. I am only saying that I would never volunteer for any of them.
Mrs. Lion was certainly right when she said I really regret things I say I want. I suggested the diaper and panties. I hate them. I am not turned on at all by wearing them. The nail polish was her idea and I hated it from the start. I don’t love to hate these things. I just flat out hate them.
Another interesting (to me at least) area is conditioning. This could turn out to be another item on my “I wish I kept my mouth shut” list. But I think it could be interesting. It does require extreme consistency on Mrs. Lion’s part, so it should be very limited at first. Maybe just associating something with being made hard or with coming?
We also have the shock collar. That’s something, when she uses it, that always makes Mrs. Lion laugh. Perhaps we should bring that back and actually use it more often. What do you think, Mrs. Lion?
When I let my mind wander into fantasy land, I tend to imagine the more extreme scenarios. the hornier I get, the more extreme the fantasy. The fact is, I think, that I am not asking for those brutal over-the-knee spankings, but for some loving authority.
I think we need to talk about this more.