Tuesday Musings

Lion had a very eventful night last night. First of all, it was a newly instituted punishment night. He got four hard swats for forgetting things. They were minor infractions, but since it was the inaugural night I felt I couldn’t let it go. Then, of course, it was orgasm night. But I also surprised him with a reward for completing all of his assigned tasks for the day. I allowed him to choose the method of orgasm. He decided on a blow job. Yum! I guess it pays to be a good Lion.

However, then I changed the date on his orgasm calendar. March 11. A sixteen day wait. Uh oh. He wonders how he will make it that long. I told him he better hope he earns a super deluxe reward of an unrestricted orgasm. I’m not sure what he’ll have to do to earn it, but it will have to be something very good. Of course, I know he can make it. He does too. It’s just a daunting task to stare down the barrel of a fully loaded penis and have no relief in sight.

On the way to work this morning I had yet another mini panic attack that I am not making Lion happy. Of course I know he is happy. But then why would he want to start domestic discipline? Because it’s something he’s wanted to do for a long time. Why isn’t he just happy with chastity? Because he also wants discipline. But what will he want next? No idea. Really. None. What if I can’t do it all? I can only do what I can do. And then I was ok again.

I think domestic discipline will be much harder for me than chastity. Despite Lion’s musings that I am becoming very skilled at things and seem to be embracing them, I don’t care about making Lion wait for an orgasm. True, chastity has brought us closer together. I’m happy about that. I’m not necessarily happy about having a teasing schedule or an orgasm schedule. I understand the purpose of them. Maybe I’m just being impatient. I really don’t care about giving Lion tasks and punishing him if he doesn’t do them. So what if he doesn’t do them? Part of me feels bad when I feel like I do everything around the house (I don’t) and part of me feels bad that I don’t do more. Why should Lion get punished when I forget just as much as he does?

Maybe I have some sort of letdown when he has an orgasm. I think this is just the “normal” side of me coming through. The pre-Lion me. The doubting side. It will pass.

2 comments on “Tuesday Musings
  1. subhubphx says:

    “On the way to work this morning I had yet another mini panic attack that I am not making Lion happy”

    The minute you truly no longer worry about this, you will be making him happy. What he truly wants is for you to care about what you want, and NOT about what he wants. Trust me. Anything else is merely relegating you his occasional fantasy fulfiller. I don’t mean to sound critical, I promise.

    • Caged Lion says:

      You may be reading your own vision of this into our lives. We both want to make each other happy. I would be very unhappy if Mrs. Lion stopped caring about what would make me happy. The trick is to learn how to balance this wonderful feeling with her role, not become desensitized to my happiness. When either one of us stops caring, we stop loving one another.

What do you think?