When Lion read my post yesterday he thought I was really mad at him. After some reassurance he doesn’t think that way now. I’ve been trying to figure out what part of my post made him feel that way. I know sometimes I can be a bit passive aggressive. Maybe my tone was harsher than I intended. After I gave him his new daily punishment swats he asked if they were for our fight the other night. Ah. Now I see.
Lion and I don’t normally fight. We disagree and talk it out. Occasionally he will do something that makes me mad, but I usually let things pile up and let them slide. Lion hates that. He’d rather be punished for his indiscretions. Occasionally I do things that make him mad and he lets them pile up until he can’t stand it anymore and then we have what we had the other night. I hate that. I’d rather know if there’s a problem brewing before it boils over.
My decision to give him daily punishment for the next week stemmed from a few things. He made a comment that he thought his punishment would be worse on Thursday night than it was. I thought he would “like” the extra punishments. I really did let him off the hook far to easily for that altercation. He wanted more attention. I thought it would do me some good to have some practice at punishment. All seemingly valid points that don’t add up to my being mad at him. Anymore.
I was actually done being shell shocked by the time we went to bed Wednesday night. Once I got over the fact that the rug had been ripped out from under me again, we talked a lot. He shared how he was feeling. I shared what I was dealing with. I decided to leave him wild until I could assess the situation. We snuggled for a while and went to sleep. Thursday morning, however, he complained about breakfast and that’s why I was mad at him. Through emails on Thursday we both felt better.
So last night when he asked if the swats were because of the fight I said no. But in truth I guess they were. Somewhat. I wasn’t still mad, but they did come about because of the fight. I told him they were maintenance swats. Not really for a particular infraction. Just because I’m in charge and he has to take that seriously. I do too.
My post yesterday was supposed to be about us slipping up and subsequently reaffirming that we are continuing with chastity and domestic discipline. I could never stay mad at Lion for long.