Since I suggested we incorporate Female Led Relationship (FLR) / domestic discipline in our marriage, Mrs. Lion has been giving me “maintenance spankings” every day. Her idea, as she wrote in a post, was to give me small punishment spankings every night as a way to get used to disciplining me. As she said, it took her a while to feel good about edging me; in the beginning she felt she was being cruel. So, by giving me daily punishment spankings, she can desensitize herself about hurting me.

I agreed it was a good idea. I am using the opportunity to be better behaved when getting hard swats. I’m not doing very well. I try to get away. I know that people who have experienced punishment spankings as children learn to hold still and take the swats. Failure to do that resulted in restarting the spanking. On occasion, Mrs. Lion has added swats if I do try to squirm away. I’m not learning very well. I suspect it will take a long time for me to learn to hold still. Mrs. Lion has gotten very good at administering painful swats. She appears to be getting the experience she wanted.

I know from my prior experience that there is a very big difference between punishment spanking and play spanking. Both end up at the same intensity, but play spankings start soft and get harder as the bottom’s endorphin level rises. That way the spanking never really hurts. I know that if the pace is exactly right, the spanking feels good even though the swats are at full punishment force. Obviously, in a punishment spanking, it is supposed to hurt. The swats start at full, painful intensity. That’s what makes it difficult to administer.

For Mrs. Lion or any other dominant partner to be effective with punishment, she needs to be unconcerned with my reactions and perform the spanking with the intent of sending a clear message. Mrs. Lion has no history of corporeal punishment, giving or receiving, so there is no context for this new FLR punishment regime. I have no experience as the punishee, so I’m not much help.

If punishment is to be part of a relationship, the punisher has to be comfortable making her partner unhappy at times. That, after all, is the entire point of punishment. Right? There is a very positive benefit of punishment: once completed, there is no guilt. If I do something wrong and I get punished, the case is closed and I have paid the price for my transgression. No guilt. A sore bottom, but no guilt. That works for me.

Related posts:

  1. Female Led Relationship: A Woman’s Guide A Female Led Relationship (FLR), also sometimes called Wife Led Marriage (WLM) is a broader form of power exchange than enforced chastity. There are tons of definitions floating around the Internet but I think Wikipedia...
  2. How We Implement Domestic Discipline Mrs. Lion has been focusing on improving in her role as my disciplining wife. One of her most difficult challenges is determining what constitutes useful punishment. Spanking is Mrs. Lion’s primary disciplinary tool. This makes...
  3. Disciplinary Spanking Without a doubt the most popular punishment employed by women in a domestic discipline relationship (DD) is spanking. Unfortunately, most people think that all you have to do is to expose the offender’s bottom and...
  4. Self Doubt Guilt is an unforeseen byproduct of blogging about our relationship. When I read about the things I’ve done that upset Mrs. Lion, I wonder what sort of person would be so thoughtless. How could I...
  5. Is This Really Kink? First the news. Mrs. Lion had me in a diaper from Thursday evening through last night when I took my shower. Not long after the diaper was off, she painted all ten of my toenails...
  6. What FLR Means To Us Generally, I avoid debates over terminology. But there is one term that confuses me, FLR or Female Led Relationship. That may seem odd since Mrs. Lion and I are in one. Let me explain. A...