In my post yesterday I didn’t mean to suggest Lion is incompetent. Of course he can find things to occupy his time. I was reacting to his post that said there was only so much old TV a person can watch. At one point, I was unemployed for close to two years and I know how boring it can get. I was looking for work and trying to figure out how to go back to school, and then eventually in school so I wasn’t exactly sitting around, but there was still a lot of down time. What I was trying to say is that I can assign him tasks that can be part of the female led relationship he wants. I just need to be careful I am not putting too much on his plate.
I know how it feels to be out of work. Imagine someone saying, “Since you’re home all day and not doing anything, could you at least clean up around here?” That is not exactly showing support. “Gee, thanks! I didn’t think I could feel any worse. Here I was thinking that I’ll never, ever find a job because who would want me. But I can certainly dust the bookshelves.” Nope. That wasn’t the intent of giving him chores.
He wants me to take charge. He wants rules. He wants me to tell him what to do. In a ham-handed way I was trying to do that. It wasn’t to belittle him. It wasn’t to make him feel worse for being out of work. If anything, it was to take his mind off of it. Here’s a rule. Feel my power. I’m not so good at it yet. There always seems to be an element to things that I don’t understand even if I think I’ve looked at it from all angles. It will take time.
On the plus side, I’m getting better at punishment swats. Lion’s buns were very red last night. I guess I do need to restrain him. Up to now I’ve been thinking that he likes to be restrained and this is supposed to be punishment. He shouldn’t enjoy any part of it. But if I’m hitting him harder, I need to stop him from moving. At least now when I spank him, I can get past the point that I would normally stop because he complains.
And I think I’m getting better at talking to him while I tease him. It still seems to me like bad porn, but I’m trying. That’s all I can do. Put one foot in front of the other, sometimes baby steps, and maybe someday I’ll get it. In the meantime I hope Lion is having some fun.