Month: April 2015

Lion was not very horny last night. Too bad. We agreed to play every night. I’d decided I was only going to edge him once since he just had an orgasm. Then I was going to lock him back up until tonight. I’m not sure that my plan included an added edging for each night of his wait. That could be a bit much over time. However, I was working toward that one edging last night and he was working so hard to get to the edge that I decided to reward his efforts with another orgasm. He asked why. I told him it was because I wanted to. No other reason is needed. I felt like it. He was happy with this extra orgasm, but said he didn’t think he could have another one tonight. Really? Is that a challenge? I said it was a “spurt” of the moment decision and he wouldn’t be having another one tonight.

I’m sure many of our readers think I’m too nice to Lion. I give him too many orgasms. I should be denying him for longer periods of time. He should be doing more things for me. He has too much input into things. I should be punishing him for every little thing that happens. Just as there’s no one right way to raise a child, there’s no right way to raise a Lion. I may be stumbling along here trying to figure things out, but I need to do that so I learn.

Lion and I decided that extremely long waits aren’t that important to us. He already does more than enough for me. I ask for his input so I know what he’s thinking. He wants to be punished more and I am working to accommodate him. Why would I worry about accommodating him? This is all his idea. I need to know what he’s looking for so I can have some hope of doing it. Once I know then I can put my own twist on it so he gets what he wants but not exactly. He wants to feel my power? Here’s some nail polish for those bland Lion toes. Not exactly what he had in mind, but he can’t argue. How about a diaper? Poor Lion.

Every time he comes up with a new idea I have to decide if we (I) can implement it. And he constantly comes up with new ideas. Some are general suggestions and some are things he really wants to try. There’s never a dull moment in the Lion’s den. That’s both good and bad. We don’t want to go back to boring. But we (I) don’t want to be under perpetual change. I’d like to have my feet on solid ground for a while. Lion is more adventurous. Together we make a pretty good team. Together we figure things out.

People new to enforced chastity frequently obsess over “security”. The idea is that the chastity device is supposed to act as an impenetrable barrier to erection and unauthorized masturbation or orgasm.  The fantasies always portray the caged male as a semi-unwilling victim of a woman who owns his sexuality. That fantasy drives a lot of guys to find devices they think will be escape proof. Any captive-ball device, like the infamous, uncomfortable CB6000, can be escaped. The penis can be pulled out of the back. To attempt to prevent that, guys get devices with very tight rings that go around the cock and balls. This will make it more difficult, but not impossible to pull out. Others get Prince Albert (PA) piercings through which they can put a lock that will attach to a chastity device. Obviously pull out will be impossible then. So that’s that. A guy can get a comfortable chastity device that will be impossible to escape.

Fantasy realized! Well, no. It’s unsafe to wear a device when unsupervised unless an emergency key is available. Mine is in a pill container on my key chain. So, even with an inescapable device, it’s easy to get out. Many believe it is a secure device that puts the “enforced” in enforced chastity. I don’t agree. My chastity is enforced because I have surrendered sexual control to Mrs. Lion. Even if the device is off, I’m not going to cheat and get off. I will get hard, but that’s not something I can control. In the device I can’t do that.

Why do I wear the device at all? Why does Mrs. Lion care if I do or don’t? These are much more important questions. They are also difficult for me to answer precisely. I won’t unlock myself unless it is an emergency because the device and the penis it guards belong to my lioness. I don’t feel I have that right. More important to me, wearing it makes me feel closer to her. That steel caging the penis is locked on by her because she wants me to wear it. Because it controls, if only symbolically, my sexuality, it is a potent symbol to me; one I am always aware is there.

When I receive nightly teasing, Mrs. Lion unlocks and removes the cage. I remove the base ring. She and only she stimulates me. When she is finished, whether I come or not, she gives me the ring. I put it on and she locks the cage back over my penis. This could all happen if I weren’t locked up at all. She could have my lie on my back, stimulate me, and then tell me she is done. I, of course, would not stimulate myself. Same thing, right? No, I don’t think so.

The cage is real. It’s steel and it does absolutely prevent erection or ejaculation. She knows that as do I. The very acts of freeing my penis and then locking it up again send a powerful message to me. I know that only during that brief time she chooses to stimulate me will I be erect and allowed to be aroused, sometimes even ejaculate. When the cage goes back on, her toy is put away and only available to her.

Yes, I do know that I can use my emergency key. I can probably pull out behind the base ring too. I’ve never tried that and I expect it would be pretty uncomfortable. It doesn’t matter. I won’t do either. Feeling that device locked onto my penis gives me a strong feeling of warmth and, let’s face it, security. I feel secure that Mrs. Lion has taken true, physical ownership of me and my sexuality. That’s what is at the base of all the fantasies. It’s what I really want. It’s similar, but different from my wedding ring. My ring announces to the world that I am not available. I’m married, stay away. The chastity device reminds me that the only source of sexual pleasure comes from one and only one person, my beloved lioness. More importantly, I am reminded that she wants to give me pleasure. She unlocks me and stimulates me regularly. She does that because it will please me. She doesn’t let me ejaculate very often. That’s important to both of us. She’s in charge. Ejaculation is a reward she reserves for times when it pleases her to provide it. For me, at least, security in enforced chastity has nothing to do with how hard it is to defeat my chastity device. Security is the warm certainty that my lioness loves me and chooses to give me the pleasure I can’t give myself or get from others.

Mrs. Lion has written that she likes me locked in my cage. I think it has a somewhat different message for her. I wrote about my thoughts on why it works for her. I asked her to read it. She offered her response:

I don’t why I like the cage. I think it’s the idea of what it represents although not from a security point of view. I never worried you’d cheat. It’s sort of a good luck charm in a way. You may not need that lucky rabbit’s foot, but do you want to take a chance? And by taking a chance I don’t mean that you’d cheat. I mean that things would go back to the way they were before. We don’t want that. And the best reminder seems to be the cage.

Amen, my sweet lioness.

This morning, as I was unloading the dishwasher, I had a flashback to this past weekend. Lion fell on the deck and hurt his back. Not knowing how bad it was, and fearing it would get worse with time, I told him to lay down. He said it wasn’t really bad and then winced. We were unloading the dishwasher and he was trying to bend over. I told him he either needed to sit down or lay down and he finally listened. It turns out that it wasn’t bad after all but it’s better to be safe than sorry. It wasn’t until this morning, unloading the dishwasher, that I realized why he listened to me. Once I repeated myself he was afraid to get punished. And I’m not sure how I feel about that.

I guess if I had a firmer grip on domestic discipline I would be happy that he obeyed a command. As a wife I’m grateful he listened. As someone who loves him more than anything, I was just trying to take care of him and it hadn’t even occurred to me to play the punishment card. So what’s the difference? In my mind, from now on, I’ll be wondering if he’s doing something because he agrees or because he’s trying to avoid punishment. Who cares? Isn’t this what I should be striving for? I guess so. But I think I’m still at a point where I’m fighting being in charge. I hope that will change.

As you’ve probably read, Lion had an orgasm last night. His scheduled date wasn’t until Thursday but I took pity on the poor quivering mess of horny Lion in front of me and decided to end his misery. He thinks eleven days was a long time to wait. When I checked the calendar, his next date is much longer. Good thing I decided to adjust things. From sixteen days down to…. Nope. I can’t say. Mostly because I don’t remember off the top of my head, but also because Lion shouldn’t know.

We will continue with the nightly edging. It was a good experiment. It’s nice to have him spring to attention the second the cage comes off. And knowing he’s grumbling to himself because he’s super horny is amusing. Poor Lion. I also decided I can use this edging as a punishment if I want. Did he do something wrong? Uh oh. No edging tonight, my pet.

Last night was also maintenance swat night. He got six semi-hard swats and he took them very well. He yelled a little into the pillow but he stayed still. I used a wooden spoon because it was the first thing I found. I’ll probably try different paddles, more or less swats, and harder versus softer swats as we go along. I can’t let him get accustomed to the maintenance swats anymore than he should get accustomed to punishment swats.

As you can see, I’m still all over the map with punishment and being in charge. Sometimes it feels like the most natural thing to do. And then it turns around to be something I hate. I’ll reel it in eventually.

kitchen spanking paddle
This is our “kitchen spanking paddle”. It hangs from the refrigerator. It’s been there as long as we’ve lived here. It’s been many years since Mrs. Lion has used it. That is very likely to change now.

First the news. Last night Mrs. Lion finally gave me an orgasm after 11 long days waiting. She teased me for a long time. I showed a great deal of interest in more. She has great hands. She told me that it wasn’t my scheduled night. Being a good team player, I said, “I don’t care.” She asked if I really wanted to come. I rolled my eyes and said, “Yup! To my great surprise she moved between my legs and gave me incredible oral sex. It felt wonderful. And for the record, now that it is over, I still feel wonderful. I don’t feel any post-orgasmic letdown; just a nice sleepy feeling like I am a happy lion puddle. Now back to our regularly scheduled post.

Our progress in enforced chastity and domestic discipline happens in spurts. We (usually me) come up with something new. It could be longer waits, maintenance spankings, more teasing, or tougher rules. We then try it and write about it. After a few tries, if Mrs. Lion decides to continue, we formalize it. For example, I suggested FLM* and domestic discipline.  Mrs. Lion agreed to give it a try. An important component of both is discipline and punishment. These are two activities that Mrs. Lion doesn’t like to do. So, in typical lion fashion, we established a set of explicit rules and set punishment days on Mondays and Thursdays. I was charged with keeping a list of my offenses (you can see it on the right column of this page if you scroll down). Mrs. Lion decided that spanking is her preferred punishment. She worked hard to make punishment spankings painful. I had a lot of trouble holding still.

If you have been following our progress, you know that I have managed to be a good lion and avoid being punished. That left us with imperfect spanking skills for Mrs. Lion and poor spankee behavior for me. Essentially, Mrs. Lion needs to be desensitized to hurting me and I need to learn to hold still no matter how much it hurts. In keeping with our past methodology, we have just instituted twice-weekly maintenance spankings on Tuesday and Friday nights. These spankings are the same as punishment spankings. Their purpose, however, is to allow us to learn effective discipline. It’s not easy to do, but if we don’t do it, we both feel that our attempts at discipline will not be effective and we may just let it die out.

We have had success with enforced chastity because we made a commitment to pursue it and scheduled activities. Now, we are in a new, experimental phase. Mrs. Lion is not telling me when I will finally get an orgasm. She has also increased tease and denial to an every-night activity. I’m experiencing heightened arousal. I try to get hard many times a day when my mind drifts to my dear lioness.  As she pointed out to me, what man wouldn’t want daily sexual activity? Well duh. I think that my daily sexual activity has a more positive effect than getting a guy off every day. I do hope this experiment becomes our habit.

Yesterday, during the day, in one of our email exchanges, I mentioned that more frequent punishment spankings for practice would make it easier for her to just spank me on the spot when needed. She disagreed and reminded me that we have a paddle in the kitchen. We do. It hangs from the refrigerator (see image) and is easily accessible. Years ago when we first started playing with rules, Mrs. Lion would use it when I dropped ice or food. She would just tell me to bend over and give me a couple of swats.  This little paddle really hurts. She stopped using it years ago. Now that domestic discipline is in force, when I break one of my “kitchen” rules, we have added it to my list of infractions and I am spanked during one of our scheduled sessions. Maybe Mrs. Lion will return to using her kitchen paddle to put the punishment closer to the infraction. Either way, I get punished. She has expressed an interest in punishing closer to my wrongdoing. Maybe we can use the kitchen paddle to help make that a habit. Will I get both bedroom and kitchen maintenance spankings? If she starts using that dusty paddle again, I am very sure it won’t be just two or three swats.

Our pattern is to try things and then learn after we have done them for a while whether or not they  work for us. One thing we’ve learned is that if we don’t commit to something and make sure we go at it full force, we will drop it long before we can discover its benefits. So, for a while we will have to practice domestic discipline. We both have to learn on a visceral level our places in this power exchange.

* FLM Female Led Marriage.