April 2015 (Page 2)

Last night I had a feeling that Mrs. Lion would finally make me come. I think as little as a month ago, she would have. Now, things are different. We had a very nice, but frustrating, tease and deny. Mrs. Lion very skillfully masturbates me right up to the point of no return. Then she stops. Her techniques are amazing. I feel myself getting hard inside my cage just remembering. Perhaps we should make our own tease and deny video. Her techniques deserves to be memorialized. Maybe she will agree to do it.

I really have no idea when I will finally ejaculate. However, last night it occurred to me that while coming would be great, the next night we will be back again with tease and deny. Nothing will change. I will still dream about the next orgasm. Or is that right? I dream about my sweet lioness’ hands and mouth. Orgasm isn’t really part of my day and night dreams. I keep talking about my sexual ratio. Right now it’s more than 50 edgings to every ejaculation. If ejaculation were my sole target, I would be a very unhappy lion right now. But I’m not. I am massively horny. I can’t wait until the next time her hands are on my cock and balls. That’s what I’m horny for.

It doesn’t mean that I don’t want to come. I really do. If Mrs. Lion gave me more frequent orgasms, nothing would change. I love our daily sessions with or without ejaculation. I guess that ejaculating is a special treat. I crave it the way I want a great dessert. I would be sad if I never had that dessert, but I am very happy I get such a nice dinner first. For me, foreplay lasts days and sometimes weeks on end. But no matter how much I love all of this attention, I do hope that someday soon I will be able to have an orgasm.

It’s always risky for me to write a post about enforced chastity when I am this horny. Yesterday (Monday) was my tenth day of waiting. I’ve been teased every day for the last week. Sitting here alone at my desk, my thoughts are sexual. They are also considering the power possibilities with me being this motivated. Mrs. Lion has been extremely good as a keyholder. She isn’t going to cave and give me an orgasm just because I whine or growl. She’ll give me one when she decides I should get it. This is exactly what I asked her to do. She is doing it very very well. I even think she enjoys my desperation.

One of the concepts that originally attracted me to enforced chastity was the power exchange. I really like the fact that at this point if I had my way (which I can sometimes get from my softhearted lioness), I would have an orgasm now, but I can’t. My cage is firmly locked on and I know that I will be edged and put away horny again tonight. This demonstrates our power exchange at a visceral level for me. But there’s a problem. Mrs. Lion knows I hate to wait but also get value from the frustration. How does she know when enough is enough? After all, there is no reason to let me ejaculate. I like the frustration and as far as I know I won’t turn green or my balls won’t fall off if I don’t get to do it. Yeah, it feels like that might happen, but I know it won’t.

This problem was sort of solved with arbitrary orgasm dates that Mrs. Lion set. At least there was a plan of sorts that governed my lockup. Now, I don’t know when that date is. Nor do I know if Mrs. Lion will honor it. That’s fine, of course. At this point (ten days in), I acutely feel the little twinges every time my mind turns to anything sexual. I can get hard just writing this post. We have agreed that there was no value to us in making me wait extended amounts of time. I suspect that if my wait goes past a certain point — I have no idea what that might be — that my urgency will diminish and I will begin losing interest in orgasm. As I’ve written recently, my expectations for sex no longer include ejaculation. Over a year of being trained to reach the edge of orgasm and then stopping taught me that sex for me is building up excitement but rarely going over the edge. I haven’t gotten to the point where I prefer edging to orgasm, but I no longer expect ejaculation when sexually stimulated.

The problem of when is it the right time for me to ejaculate remains. I know a lot of keyholders wrestle with this. Recently, I read of a couple whose solution is interesting. His keyholder has set a minimum wait. Initially it was a week, but I think she extended it. During that time there is no chance he will come. But, after the minimum he might be allowed an orgasm. If he has been good and has pleased her, she might get him off on the last day of his wait or make him wait a day or two more just for fun. If he has slipped up in some way or if she has been aggravated by external forces that have nothing to do with him, he will wait longer. He likes this very much because it keeps him on his toes at all times.

I think it is an interesting idea because he has some control (by being good) over how much longer he has to wait, but not full control. If his minimum time is ten days (I wonder why I picked that number), and he has been working hard to keep her happy, he knows he has a chance that on or not long after that day, he will most likely ejaculate. But since his release depends on more than his behavior. Bad weather, an argument with a coworker, or just her period could force him to wait longer. I think that’s important. A power exchange has to have some fairness to it, but not too much. Otherwise it is just a contract with the keyholder enforcing the terms. I think that she has to have real power which means she can arbitrarily make her male wait.

The domestic discipline people will hate me for this comment, but I think the same is true of punishment. The reason so many people into DD (Domestic Discipline) do maintenance spankings is that the ability of the top to inflict pain arbitrarily is the best way to remind an adult surrendered male that she is firmly in charge.

Consistency in discipline, or for that matter, determining release dates is crucial in terms of correcting behavior. But there has to be some inconsistency introduced by adding time or swats arbitrarily, “just because.” It’s the joker in the deck for enforced chastity and FLM. If Mrs. Lion announced, “Tonight is the night I had planned on letting you come, but I am not in the mood. Maybe I will be tomorrow,” it would have a very strong effect on me. I don’t think it would be a positive effect, but it would underline our power exchange.

That’s why the title of this post. I have been teased and edged twice as much as before. Ten days to me is a very long time to wait. I have to be stupid to make this suggestion now. Of course, I have no idea if Mrs. Lion has any plans to get me off anyway. But I think you have to agree, this is putting more fuel on my already desperately large fire.

It doesn’t matter if it’s spring or summer, the Lion weather report usually calls for horniness with periods of extreme horniness followed by more horniness. He’s told me twice today already and it’s not even noon. Poor thing. This nightly edging is really working. I wonder how much longer he can make it.

Last night I discovered that the calendar in the bedroom is, in fact, correct. It says April 17. I thought his last orgasm was April 19. I was wrong. If you don’t think two days matters much, just ask a poor Lion who’s been teased every night since April 17. It matters. And he has no idea when his next orgasm will be. Could be tonight. Could be tomorrow. Could be next week. I was actually wondering last night if I should tell him on that day, before I start to tease him. Or should I keep it a secret right up until the end? Even if he knows before I start teasing him, he won’t know exactly when it will happen. Well, I don’t have to decide right this minute anyway. Have I mentioned he doesn’t know when his next orgasm is? Evil Mrs. Lion.

Tonight is punishment night. At first Lion didn’t mention it this morning. Then he said he almost “forgot” so he would get punished. He feels his back side needs some attention but agreed that wasn’t the way to go about it. So now I think I have to decide on maintenance swats. Mondays and Thursdays are punishment nights. Tuesdays and Fridays are now maintenance swat nights. What does that entail? My Lion’s tush will receive six fairly hard swats just to keep those cheeks accustomed to being rosy. And I give him about a week to realize he should never have asked for maintenance swats in the first place. Silly boy.

In 2009 we saw “Julie and Julia” a movie about a woman who decided to cook every recipe in the Julia Child cooking bible, Mastering the Art of French Cooking. She also decided to create a blog chronicling her adventures. The movie interwove the story of Julia Child’s life with Jules cooking adventures. I loved the movie. But what struck me the most was that Julie’s blog became a daily habit for her readers. They were following along and commenting on what she was doing. They were part of her life beyond the kitchen. I really like that idea. That film was my inspiration for this blog. I am extremely happy that many of our readers, like you, share our adventures every day.

Another goal of mine was to provide a woman-friendly blog that portrays our particular kinks in a way that isn’t simply porn. I believe that enforced male chastity and FLM provide some unique opportunities to enhance relationships by moving unspoken needs to the forefront of the relationship. That’s certainly been the case in our house. Ironically, creating and continuing this blog has had as much value for us as enforced chastity. We communicate with each other through the blog as much as we also share with you. The fact that both of us write daily keeps things honest. Countless misunderstandings have been nipped in the bud thanks to the back and forth here.

It may be our own failings, but Mrs. Lion and I did not have meaningful conversations about our sexual needs very often before we began enforced chastity and this blog. We were both reluctant to share any more than the most basic stuff. As a result, we rarely had any sexual contact. We never provided meaningful feedback to one another. I’m not sure why. As you can tell, I’m not exactly shy about expressing myself. But with her, I just couldn’t. I didn’t want to make her feel badly. I didn’t want to risk my relationship by demanding things she clearly doesn’t like. I was avoiding an imaginary conflict.

If you go back to our earliest posts, Mrs. Lion was unhappy that I didn’t initiate sex. She wrote that she was angry about that (not in those exact words) and decided she wasn’t going to initiate if I didn’t. Enforced chastity changed that in some respects. She informed me that if I wanted release, I needed to initiate pleasing her. I still didn’t. I wish I understand that part of me, but I still couldn’t do it. Then, we came up with the idea that on certain nights, I was expected to get things going for her. That worked. I was able to begin pleasing her without prompting. But I was just “going for the gold” and Mrs. Lion wrote that she needed more buildup. See, the blog was working! So, I added lots of kissing and fondling and general non-genital foreplay. She liked that a lot. But then she said that it was too much. She came, but really didn’t want to. She just wasn’t turned on that much.

This is when she began writing about her lack of libido. As usual, she blamed herself for making things less fun for me. She just doesn’t want sex for herself. This lack of desire for orgasm changes the enforced chastity fantasy a lot. Getting her off was removed from the table. All that is left has to do with me, my arousal and orgasms. This is not easy for me to accept. I really love giving my lioness orgasms.

Mrs. Lion, don’t take this to mean you should let me do it just to make me happy. I don’t want that.

I keep wondering if I’m just not sexually attractive to her. She says I am, but she just isn’t interested in sex. I’ve learned to accept that. I don’t like it, but I understand. When I get back to work and we have some free cash, I’m hoping Mrs. Lion will go for hormonal testing to rule out any physical issues where lack of libido is a symptom. Maybe we will find a way to do it sooner. I think it is a priority. She doesn’t. As usual, she puts me first. In the meantime I will be as much of a nag as I can be without getting punished.

In the meantime, Mrs. Lion has become an excellent keyholder. She is very effective at keeping me horny and unsatisfied. When I whine a bit, she reminds me that this is what I want. Right? I have to agree even though I want to growl. I love the fifteen minutes or so a day when she teases me. I get to be hard and feel that intense sexual buildup. She assures me that it will be “a matter of days” before I can come. I pointed out that 2050 is a matter of days away. She smiled and said, “I know.”

So here we are nearly 800 posts later. We have readers like you who follow our adventures. About one third of our readers come back every day to read our posts. The others come in via Google and other website links looking for specific information. According to our web stats, many of you also follow links from here to other blogs. I think that’s great. We have a community of sorts where you can read about others who are living with enforced chastity and FLM. Our blog has become more popular and I am delighted with that.

I am happiest with how our blog has helped my lioness and I provide feedback to one another. The commitment to daily posts keeps us talking about things. The ability to thoughtfully craft our posts has allowed us to talk about things it would be difficult to discuss face to face. You have commented about things we write and have offered us new insights that have also helped us grow. Like in the film “Julie and Julia,” our blog has taken on a life of its own. It’s a very good life that has helped us have a better sex life. Hopefully we have been of some value to you too. Thank you.