It Makes Me Happy (Mostly)
Wednesday night, as Mrs. Lion wrote, I got orgasms two days in a row. I have to admit I wasn’t in the mood when she started to play with me, but as usual, she easily got me very interested. Still, two days in a row is a bit of a stretch for me. It was, of course, big fun for me. Mrs. Lion brought up some interesting points. She mentioned that for the most part she feels that she is playing “catch up” with my ideas and requests. She defends her decision to take so much input from me by saying that I, after all, asked for this. She also said that she thinks it makes sense to start from my wishes.
I don’t consider this topping from the bottom at all. Since my lioness had no real frame of reference for enforced chastity or FLM, she needed someplace to start. As I have learned, just because she begins with my suggestion doesn’t mean it will stay that way for long. She is very good at putting her own spin on things. I’m sure that before long, it will be hard to recognize my original requests.
She is acutely aware of a key point that most guys who ask to be locked up forget: she is doing it because I believe it will make me happy if she does. I realize that one of the key concepts behind power exchange is that the person holding the whip. so to speak, is using the bottom for his/her own pleasure. Even in BDSM this is mostly fiction. Mrs. Lion is going to considerable trouble to be my keyholder. I would be very surprised if her lion taming activities bring her much direct pleasure. Her joy, if there is any, comes from satisfying a deep need of mine. That doesn’t mean it can’t be fun for her, or even provide real benefits, but by and large this is all for my benefit.
Over the months she has said that for reasons unclear to her, our enforced chastity activities, particularly my chastity device, have provided real benefits for both of us in terms of increased intimacy and an active-if-one-sided sex life. I think a good deal of my increased pleasure comes from my ability to let Mrs. Lion know what I might like or dislike. Ok, you could argue that I could have done this before. I did, to a much smaller extent. The problem was that my requests didn’t have any particular context. For example, I told her that I like to be tied up and spanked. She did this for a while, but it felt very one sided to her and just made her withdraw.
So why is it different now? I wonder about that myself. The activity is still one-sided. Mrs. Lion’s libido is still not active. But somehow it is different, very different. I can’t say that I am doing any more or less around the house. We’ve always shared the work. I am cooking more. But that’s because I am home while out of work. My current thought is that because we made an agreement and have been freely communicating about what it means and how it is working, there is a measure of emotional satisfaction for Mrs. Lion. I don’t know if that is true.
All I can come up with is that because we have seriously increased our communication and provide feedback to one another, the expanded openness is providing satisfaction all on its own. This blog has provided daily feedback and course corrections to us both. There is no sexual ambiguity anymore. We both know our roles and over the last 15 months have gotten a certain level of comfort with them. It’s easy for me to list all of the fun-and-sometimes-painful things that I find so satisfying. It’s much more difficult to understand what’s in it for Mrs. Lion. I am confident that over time we will figure it out.