Like a good boy, Lion reminded me about maintenance spanking night. And then hoped I’d forget. I didn’t. Since they are not punishment swats, they are not evil. He made it through the six swats with no problem at all.
When we started our nightlysession, however, he had a problem. For whatever reason, no amount of oral stimulation could produce enough excitement to get him to the edge. He apologized. I said it was no big deal. He apologized again. I told him there’s no way I can insist he be aroused. I can’t force him to the edge. Over the course of a few hours he must have apologized five times. It really wasn’t a problem. He says it is. He says there must be a problem.
Here’s the problem as I see it. He thinks he let me down. And he’s sure if he can’t perform one night it means he’s “broken”. Let me assure you. Lion is not broken. Nightly edging might be too much. There’s nothing saying I can’t still fondle him without doing anything else. Even if we snuggle and I just massage his balls it still counts to me. And he’s not letting me down because I’m doing this for him. I’m more likely to think I let him down. Why didn’t I turn him on enough to get him to the edge? What’s wrong with me? But I didn’t think that last night because I realize that things don’t always go according to plan.
Maybe he’s worrying about something. We have to fix the lawn tractor today. Maybe he’s thinking about how much work that will be. Maybe he’s worried about how much I will be hurting from crawling around on the ground. Maybe he’s worried about how much he will be hurting from being in awkward positions. Maybe he’s worried about the stupid bolts being impossible to get off. He could also be thinking about the job situation. So many things to think about that make getting excited more difficult. And none of those things adds up to my being disappointed or his being broken. [Lion — She’s right. I am worrying about money. Yesterday it got the best of me for a while]
Tonight we’ll try again. And if it doesn’t work again we will snuggle and I will fondle him and we’ll try the next night. And the next night. And so on. Because as much as I am stuck with Lion, he is stuck with me too. And we don’t let each other down.