It turns out that as Lion was writing his post about me as the decision maker, I was in the other room being annoyed. I’m a homebody. After working all week, what I really want to do is relax at home. I know we need to go to the grocery store and things like that, but beyond that I like to stay home. So when I asked Lion if he had any ideas for dinner and he said Chinese, I was annoyed. I wondered why we couldn’t just wait until Tuesday when I could pick it up on the way home from work. I wasn’t looking forward to the drive almost to work just to get food. But then I thought about it.
Lion spends most of his time at home. He wants to get out as much as possible if only so he doesn’t go stir crazy. Not that he can’t leave the house during the week. He does. But he’s the opposite of me (no surprise there), he actually likes to go out. So as much as I disliked the idea of going for Chinese food, I agreed to make Lion happy.
I never really thought of Lion “forcing” me to make decisions as topping from the bottom. Of course, I don’t see many things from the point of view of chastity or domestic discipline. I just figured he was trying to get me to take my role more seriously. I have been very careful to ask him if he has any ideas for dinner. I don’t want him to feel he has to decide; nor do I want him to think he has to make something. But there have been times when I’ve specifically asked him to decide something and he turns it back on me.
I don’t think we need a new rule so much as I need a stronger backbone. This just harkens back to the age-old problem of my standing up for myself. Not that Lion is pushing me around. It’s the fact that I swallow my feelings to avoid conflict. I need to call him out on things. I need to react more quickly. I should be able to tell him there’s a problem before he realizes it himself. Looks like I have a lot of work to do.