More Of The Jerk Off Saga

Yesterday, we experienced a brief outage of the Journal. I apologize. For those technically inclined, the caching plugin for WordPress ate up its allocated memory and then choked. This is the second time it’s done it. The first time I allowed a lot more memory for it, but it wasn’t enough. Now, I doubled it again. This plugin allows the site to load faster for you. This problem is due, I think, to people reading a lot of different posts and pages at the same time. Each request caches that page. We have almost 900 posts now. Keeping too many of them in memory can tax the server. I hope my new tweaks will eliminate this problem in the future.

If you’ve been following along, Mrs. Lion is considering whether to require me to occasionally edge myself or actually jerk off to an orgasm. This may not feel like a big deal to you, but in some ways it is. Before enforced chastity, like most men, I occasionally jerked off. Since Mrs. Lion hasn’t been interested in sex for a long time, I was in the habit of providing that entertainment to myself two or three times a week. Mrs. Lion was unaware I did this. I didn’t think she cared. In the process of discussing enforced chastity, I told her about this solo sex. She wasn’t happy about it. At the time I commented that since I am locked up, solo orgasms are a thing of the past. So, as she wrote, she had me jerk off one more time while she watched. Since then, January 2014, I haven’t done any sexual touching.

What’s the big deal if she wants me to play with myself? That isn’t a major change, I think. But there is something else. That’s why I wanted to do yet another (I know you are tired of it) post on jerking off. I’ve noticed that on the rare occasions that I am allowed to shower with no cage, thoroughly soaping and rinsing my penis does not result in the erection I used to get during such a procedure.  Even after an intense edging session like Saturday night, while still wild, manipulating it to pee offered not the slightest temptation to do extra “adjusting”. Have I been conditioned to find self-touching nonsexual? It seems that way.

Being required to jerk off or edge myself may reverse that conditioning. Again, I’m not sure that matters at all. I’m not going to jerk off without permission regardless of how arousing I find my own touch to be. I’m not sure that this conditioning is a good idea anyway. The more my own touch is erotic, the more challenged I am to be a good lion and leave my sexual release to my lioness. There really are two ways to look at this. In my current state, even uncaged, I have no real temptation no matter how horny, to get myself off. If, on the other hand, I do find my own touch sexual, then I am massively tempted when very horny and only my obedience and will power prevents me from an illegal wank.

Which state is better? The way I see it now is that if the desired state of my sexuality is to reduce my interest unless directly stimulated by Mrs. Lion, then my current disinterest in playing with myself shouldn’t be changed. But, if the desire is to keep me horny and wanting release; that is our current process, then making my own touch arousing will further heighten my frustration and challenge me further to obedience.

Enforced chastity is so much more than orgasm control. It’s a complicated game that plays with my sexual needs and desires. Over time, decisions are made that affect such basic things as my ability to stimulate myself. I don’t think either of us would have guessed that this would become an issue. I think that Mrs. Lion will have me edge myself sometimes and will probably let me jerk off while she watches. Of course, I have no advance information on that. It’s just my guess. Only the lioness knows for sure.

2 comments on “More Of The Jerk Off Saga
  1. del says:

    Done both ways over the past. Self toching pushes the honor part to obey. She has literally turned me into a quivering mess after about three weeks of self edging! The careful what you wish for part got me that play period.

    • Caged Lion says:

      That’s an interesting way to look at it. I think it also shift the source of my pleasure from my keyholder to my own hand. As it stands now, the only source of my sexual pleasure is Mrs. Lion; usually her hand.

What do you think?