Month: June 2015

Yesterday I had a mini-meltdown. All the payments coming due, the little money left in the accounts, the little money coming in each month, finally got to me. Lion’s staunch defense of paying the rent on time even though that money would go a long way toward keeping other payments from going even further behind made no sense to me. I had to take a little break. It was only a span of a few hours and two unanswered emails. By the time he texted asking if I was ok, I was. I just needed to do a little silent screaming to work things out. Of course, once I told Lion about it he immediately apologized and worried I’d leave him. Nope. Not on your life. I’m in it for the long haul.

Neither of us had gotten much sleep the night before. He was worried about money and his upcoming job interview. I was just having a normal Sunday night of non-sleep. Plus my sinuses have not been a fan of the weather. I decided not to play with Lion. I did, however, make sure my iPad was not constantly on, and we were touching a lot. Holding hands, his hand on my leg, my hand on his chest, etc. He asked if I was ok. He wondered since I hadn’t even tried to play with him. I teased him that I must be spoiling him if he expected to get played with every night. He said he just wondered. And he doesn’t think he’s spoiled. I don’t either. It’s not like he demands or expects things. He requests things and he’s very understanding when it takes me a while to get my head wrapped around them.

Last night was punishment night. He had nothing on his list. And then he did. Well, it’s on for the next punishment night. I was talking and he interrupted. I hate that! When he finished his thought I asked if I could finish. That alone should have signaled that he was in trouble, but I don’t think he got it until I told him he had something on his list for Thursday. I don’t usually react so strongly or so quickly, but it really bugs me when I’m interrupted. And he does want me to point things out to him, right? Well, there you go, Lion.

There has to be a happy medium between the bitchiness of my mini-meltdown and my let-everything-roll-off-my-back attitude. That’s what I need to be more in charge. But I think what I really need is to give it a real try. I have my moments, but have I really ever given it a good try? I keep saying baby steps, but baby steps haven’t gotten me very fair. Maybe I just need to jump into the deep end and sink or swim. Wish me luck.

Our progress with enforced male chastity and FLM moves in fits and starts. Sometimes it feels to me that we are moving backwards. Of course we really aren’t. This experience is like a visit to a bakery factory outlet store: everything looks so good and costs so little, that you go home with more than you can eat before it goes bad. We did that very thing last weekend. We are very well stocked, probably overstocked with bread and rolls. It’s surprising how much ten bucks will buy at one of those places. This is directly analogous to our enforced chastity / FLM experience.

I read about or discuss something online and then bring it back to Mrs. Lion. That’s how we started FLM. I read about it online and thought it would be a natural extension of our enforced chastity. I had been locked up well over a  year and I thought it would be a good time to introduce something new. I think I’m pretty typical of males who ask to be locked up and dominated. It’s really easy to underestimate the impact additional power exchange will have on our lives. Mrs. Lion is very agreeable and is usually willing to try anything I suggest. The problem is that all of my suggestions represent 24/7 power exchange. It’s not like I ask to try something new in a play session. I’m asking for changes in the dynamic of our relationship.

My original suggestion to try enforced chastity came out of my sexual frustration. For a long time Mrs. Lion has had a lot less interest in sex than I. I was frustrated and masturbated at least once a week. Often, my masturbation fantasies centered around a power exchange, often including a chastity device. By the end of last year, my fantasies felt almost real to me. So, I asked Mrs. Lion to lock me up. She said yes, but you already know that. We tried it for a short time and decided that we would continue for at least another year. We agreed to review whether or not to continue in March 2016.

Here we are 18 months later. And here we are with me introducing more stuff; this time FLM. We are having the same growing pains we experienced with enforced chastity. What seemed like a good idea the we could adopt easily, turns out to be much more complex and requires both of us to make serious changes in order to make this work. I seriously underestimated how I need to change. I’m not organically submissive. I am used to making decisions and acting on them without consultation. Obviously, if Mrs. Lion is the boss, I need at the very least, to loop her in. The problem is that even if I do this successfully, Mrs. Lion needs to get comfortable with her decision-making power. That doesn’t come naturally to her.

So here we are, both attempting to make changes in the very basics of our relationship. It’s not obvious, unlike the enforced chastity, that this latest change will actually help us. It could end up adding stress without any real benefit. There’s only one way to find out: give it a good chance.I must have had some subconscious reason to want FLM. I don’t know what that is. So far there is nothing I can see that suggests this is a good direction. Unlike enforced chastity, there are no signals that FLM has a long term benefit. On the other hand, it doesn’t seem to be hurting anything either.

I think there is real potential in FLM. Mrs. Lion tends to agree to anything I decide. She doesn’t ask for things she wants. As Head of Household she has to change that behavior. The changes include learning to tell me what she wants, not just for “us” but for “her”. That will be very difficult for her. I, on the other hand, have to learn to ask before acting on anything I decide. We’ve agreed that it makes no sense for me to just withdraw decision making. That would be even more difficult for Mrs. Lion and a waste of what little skill I have. So instead, I will suggest things for her to decide. If she agrees, I will do what I suggested. If she disagrees, I will either do what she says instead of my idea, or go back to the drawing board and offer another suggestion. It’s not easy for me to ask first. If I forget, then I get punished.

That’s another tough change for Mrs. Lion. She needs to notice and remember when I break a rule. If I make a decision and act on it without asking her, I need a firm reminder not to do that again. She is very capable of spanking me hard enough to regret my error, but she doesn’t often remember when I have committed an infraction. We need to figure out how to make this easier for her. I already keep track of infractions she observes and remind her of them on punishment days. But she does need to do the observing. This is a  habit that isn’t easy to develop. At first I didn’t understand why it was so hard. Now I realize that for her to think this way requires fundamental changes in how she thinks of me. This won’t be easy and will take time. One thing I am very sure about is her determination. Mrs. Lion will get there. She will drag me along. That’s what we do.

Lion pointed out that I had forgotten my planned sling fun this weekend. He reminded me a little late to do anything about it. I suppose I could have said, “Hell yes!” and thrown his butt in there anyway, but we had been outside doing yard work and we were both hot and sweaty. And I sort of had other plans for him anyway. I did wonder, however, if he would think my plans were made after he reminded me of the sling, and after I’d read his post for this morning. True, his post did alter my plans slightly, but for the better. I think.

My plans involved tying him to the bed and whomping on his sexy tush for a while. Then I was going to ask him to give me an orgasm. Then I was going to play with him. But only because I had gotten the order wrong from one of his previous posts. What he really wanted to experiment with was if I let him come first, would he be in the mood to give me attention? Since he had just had an orgasm the other day, I didn’t think he should have one again. So I just went with my original plan. With a twist.

In the past I have bitten his tush, but he called them love bites. His interest now was real bites that could potentially leave a mark or bruise. Lion hide is extremely hard to bruise. At least his tush. He bruises fairly easily other spots. Damn tush. Good thing it’s so cute. So along with the whomping, I did some chomping. I did leave some decent teeth marks but I doubt they lasted for long. I need to practice and experiment with how hard to bite to get the desired effect.

Who knew he wanted to be bitten? That’s easy. I can do that. It’s probably the easiest thing he’s ever asked me to do. Now I just need to perfect my technique. More Lion tush biting. I’m in! I have no idea why this is so much easier for me to wrap my head around than spanking or anything else he wants, but it is.

And then I sprang the other surprise on him. We discussed my misunderstanding of his previous post and then he asked if I wanted an orgasm. He laughed when I said, “Perhaps.” Either I do or I don’t. I told him if he wanted to do it I wanted him to do it. He laughed again. I told him I didn’t want to demand one, but it was as close to a decision as I was going to make. Of course he was willing. And clearly able. We both know how to push each other’s buttons. In a good way.

My problem now is that he thinks a switch has been flipped and I will suddenly be horny again. Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. One orgasm (or five) in a little over six months does not a raging horny Mrs. Lion make. Maybe it’s a start. Maybe it isn’t. Let’s just see how it goes.

All in all it was a good weekend in the Lion’s den. He got to see his movie. He got tied to the bed. He got whomped and chomped. He got to give me an orgasm (or five). A good weekend indeed.

Lion's butt freshly bitten
Mrs. Lion previewed this post when I started it on Sunday afternoon. As you can tell by the title, it is partly about bites. She decided to bite me. Here is the evidence.

Sunday was quiet. We stayed home and lounged around. I spent some time on Twitter chatting with friends. Mrs. Lion played her iPad games. I did get stir crazy in the middle of the afternoon and I decided to use the weed whacker to clear some of the wilderness around the house. Mrs. Lion decided that while I whacked she would mow our back lawn. So we got some landscaping work done and I was less restless. All in all, we were doing something useful and got some badly needed exercise.

Last night I got three big surprises: First, Mrs. Lion came into the bedroom with our restraints (well, my restraints). She proceeded to tie me to the bed. Once secured, she gave me a wonderful spanking. Second, she did something that this post is about: she bit me! It was a good start, but no bruise this time. The third thing blew my mind. She said,

“Perhaps I would like an orgasm if you feel like giving me one.”

“Perhaps??? Perhaps!,”

I said a bit too loudly. She began laughing. We both laughed for a while and then I happily gave her a nice string of very noisy orgasms. I loved it. I think she did too. After she recovered, she teased me and went a bit too far. I had another small ruined orgasm. Mrs. Lion didn’t try to revive me. I expect she was still feeling the hormonal effects of her orgasms. I told her that I hoped she would come again soon. More laughing. It was a very welcome opportunity for me to give her pleasure. I know we have differences about how we perceive play, enforced chastity, and FLM, but this was a rare opportunity to just enjoy one another.

One of those differences that is a bit difficult for us, is the way we think about play and pain. As she has often written, Mrs. Lion has no real interest in power. She doesn’t want to be in charge sexually, or in any other way. That means FLM and enforced chastity is challenging to her. To make things worse for her, better for me, I also like D/S play. I like being spanked (not punishment  spanking, D/S spanking). I love being tied up. That’s no surprise since I like wearing the chastity device. I also like little pain souvenirs; bruises. Nature in her perversity has made my butt very difficult to mark. Even after a long, hard spanking, I am barely pink, much less bruised. There are implements that have bruised me in the past. We have some here. Mrs. Lion’s preference for paddles has kept them out of her repertoire. In fairness, even those implements fail to bruise more often than they succeed.

I mentioned this to some friends on Twitter (I’m @thecagedlion there). The immediate response was a single word: “biting”. Apparently, bites rarely fail to leave a telltale mark and perhaps a twinge of pain when pressure is applied. Perhaps my lioness would enjoy biting me. I admit that my experience being the bitee is very limited. It’s a sensual area that remains relatively unexplored for both of us. That’s rare. In the distant past I believe I gave and got some hickies, but beyond that in my decades-long adventures in D/S, choppers haven’t been used. I can’t imagine why I didn’t do more biting when I was a top. I certainly had yummy partners. But then when I bottomed, no teeth used then either. Last night Mrs. Lion bit me hard enough to leave marks, but alas not enough to bruise.

It may seem odd that I would like to be marked now and then (maybe more often than that). But I do. When I have had bruises on my butt, each time I sat down a happy memory was triggered by the pain. Strictly speaking, bruises are not a necessary part of enforced chastity or FLM, or for that matter, D/S. I’ve received so few that they have become very exotic to me, sort of a masochistic caviar that would be nice served up with play.

There is a natural reluctance to leave marks. Bruises are injuries, right? Well, yes but if the same spot isn’t bruised over and over, there is no real risk of hurting someone. There are a few guidelines: Do not attempt to mark an area where a bone is close to the skin. Breasts are always out of bounds. Any injury there can result in serious future consequences. Never hit the sides of the penis very hard when erect. Damage can result there. However, the spongy tissue on the head is always fair game. Prime real estate for marking is the butt; particularly the area between the upper thighs and mid butt. This is the area where sitting takes place, so any bruise will provide a nice reminder of your stimulation.

I do enjoy some pain. I don’t like punishment spankings, but I do like the other ouchies that Mrs. Lion gives me. I know she does them out of love. I wish they would turn her on, but she isn’t wired that way, at least for now. If we can wake up her libido we may discover there is a turn-on hurting her lion. I hope so!