I spent all day Tuesday alone and uncaged. It did feel good to pee standing up, but I had no sense of additional freedom. I think that the amount of time I have spent caged has conditioned me to disregard my penis unless Mrs. Lion is attending to it. Tuesday night, my sweet lioness did some long overdue grooming. I am now completely free of pubic hair; smooth as a baby’s butt according to Mrs. Lion. A couple of hours after the grooming session, she played with me. I had an accidental ruined orgasm. This one was very intense for me, but so close to just edging that there was almost no ejaculate. I didn’t immediately lose my erection, but it faded after a minute or two. Maybe we can experiment a bit on how to bring me back after a ruined orgasm. It does feel good to be back in my cage.
I’ve been thinking a lot about the keyholder / disciplining wife role. So much of what I read by both the dominant women and the submissive men focus on expectations for the top. These expectations vary from bottom frustration when his top does housework or fails to tell him to do some menial task she chose to do, to tops worrying that they aren’t meeting their partner’s submissive needs. Some particularly arrogant writers offer “rules” that all of us must follow.
The simple fact is that we are all different. There is no right or wrong way to conduct a power exchange. There are, however, expectations that we all have. The two I think are most important are the two C’s constancy and content. You may not have heard of “content” in this context before. I use it to refer to some of the most important keys to successful domination. Since we are all different and there is no single road map to success, content is a general term that addresses your particular dominant activities. Let me explain.
If you attempt to establish a power exchange with a simple edict like, “Do all the chores.” and expect the bottom to get a satisfying submissive experience, you will both be disappointed. In many ways submission is a request for attention. The submissive partner wants to do things for his top; at least that’s what he says. What he means is quite different. In most cases he means that he wants to be obedient to you and experience your appreciation or disapproval of the results. That is content. It is the set of exchanges that allows him to experience your power, your appreciation, and your wrath. It’s attention. Enforced chastity doesn’t require more than locking up his penis and occasionally unlocking it and letting him get off. Very few males will be happy with this arrangement. He wants your participation.
The amount of participation is up to you. Many keyholders have their males remove and put on the chastity device. They just hold the key. Many also have the male do the edging and masturbating to orgasm when allowed. She doesn’t touch him at all. Others, like Mrs. Lion are very hands-on. I am not permitted to play with my penis at all. Any sexual touching comes from her alone. How you decide to do this is up to you. There is no right or wrong way to do this. The important thing is that there is content, not what that content is.
Consistency is critical in any long term power exchange. The caged male needs to understand the boundaries of his world. It doesn’t mean that everything has to always be the same. Change is fun and is critical to keeping things interesting. It’s just that he needs to understand what’s going on. If you want obedience, he needs to know your expectations. More important, he needs to experience consequences for disobedience every time he disobeys. Missing a chore should provoke a response from you. Any infraction, no matter how small, can go unnoticed. That doesn’t mean you need to spank him for everything. Just make sure he knows that you saw his infraction. A submissive male can become insecure in a world without consistent boundaries. The bottom line is that it isn’t important what you do. What counts is that you do something and you do it consistently.