Our progress with enforced male chastity and FLM moves in fits and starts. Sometimes it feels to me that we are moving backwards. Of course we really aren’t. This experience is like a visit to a bakery factory outlet store: everything looks so good and costs so little, that you go home with more than you can eat before it goes bad. We did that very thing last weekend. We are very well stocked, probably overstocked with bread and rolls. It’s surprising how much ten bucks will buy at one of those places. This is directly analogous to our enforced chastity / FLM experience.
I read about or discuss something online and then bring it back to Mrs. Lion. That’s how we started FLM. I read about it online and thought it would be a natural extension of our enforced chastity. I had been locked up well over a year and I thought it would be a good time to introduce something new. I think I’m pretty typical of males who ask to be locked up and dominated. It’s really easy to underestimate the impact additional power exchange will have on our lives. Mrs. Lion is very agreeable and is usually willing to try anything I suggest. The problem is that all of my suggestions represent 24/7 power exchange. It’s not like I ask to try something new in a play session. I’m asking for changes in the dynamic of our relationship.
My original suggestion to try enforced chastity came out of my sexual frustration. For a long time Mrs. Lion has had a lot less interest in sex than I. I was frustrated and masturbated at least once a week. Often, my masturbation fantasies centered around a power exchange, often including a chastity device. By the end of last year, my fantasies felt almost real to me. So, I asked Mrs. Lion to lock me up. She said yes, but you already know that. We tried it for a short time and decided that we would continue for at least another year. We agreed to review whether or not to continue in March 2016.
Here we are 18 months later. And here we are with me introducing more stuff; this time FLM. We are having the same growing pains we experienced with enforced chastity. What seemed like a good idea the we could adopt easily, turns out to be much more complex and requires both of us to make serious changes in order to make this work. I seriously underestimated how I need to change. I’m not organically submissive. I am used to making decisions and acting on them without consultation. Obviously, if Mrs. Lion is the boss, I need at the very least, to loop her in. The problem is that even if I do this successfully, Mrs. Lion needs to get comfortable with her decision-making power. That doesn’t come naturally to her.
So here we are, both attempting to make changes in the very basics of our relationship. It’s not obvious, unlike the enforced chastity, that this latest change will actually help us. It could end up adding stress without any real benefit. There’s only one way to find out: give it a good chance.I must have had some subconscious reason to want FLM. I don’t know what that is. So far there is nothing I can see that suggests this is a good direction. Unlike enforced chastity, there are no signals that FLM has a long term benefit. On the other hand, it doesn’t seem to be hurting anything either.
I think there is real potential in FLM. Mrs. Lion tends to agree to anything I decide. She doesn’t ask for things she wants. As Head of Household she has to change that behavior. The changes include learning to tell me what she wants, not just for “us” but for “her”. That will be very difficult for her. I, on the other hand, have to learn to ask before acting on anything I decide. We’ve agreed that it makes no sense for me to just withdraw decision making. That would be even more difficult for Mrs. Lion and a waste of what little skill I have. So instead, I will suggest things for her to decide. If she agrees, I will do what I suggested. If she disagrees, I will either do what she says instead of my idea, or go back to the drawing board and offer another suggestion. It’s not easy for me to ask first. If I forget, then I get punished.
That’s another tough change for Mrs. Lion. She needs to notice and remember when I break a rule. If I make a decision and act on it without asking her, I need a firm reminder not to do that again. She is very capable of spanking me hard enough to regret my error, but she doesn’t often remember when I have committed an infraction. We need to figure out how to make this easier for her. I already keep track of infractions she observes and remind her of them on punishment days. But she does need to do the observing. This is a habit that isn’t easy to develop. At first I didn’t understand why it was so hard. Now I realize that for her to think this way requires fundamental changes in how she thinks of me. This won’t be easy and will take time. One thing I am very sure about is her determination. Mrs. Lion will get there. She will drag me along. That’s what we do.