By:
In: Edging, Mrs Lion Comments

Even though we got in late last night I still played with Lion. Earlier in the day he told me he was very horny. I promised I could make it worse last night. So I did. I needed some edging practice anyway. I haven’t had much luck stopping in time lately. Yes, I’ve given him quite a few full orgasms, but even when I’ve tried to edge him I’ve gone a little too far and he wound up with a ruined orgasm.

I only edged him twice last night. No point in pushing my luck. But I did suck him for a bit afterwards. I told him I love doing that. He said he loves when I do it and invited me to continue. He said he’s always a willing participant. As if he has a choice anyway. I can suck him any time I want whether he gets hard or not. Of course, I like it better if he’s hard. But actually one of the times I feel the most powerful is when he’s soft and he gets hard in my mouth. It’s sort of like I’ve brought him back to life. Mouth to cock resuscitation.

Tonight he’ll get some more edging. Practice makes perfect. I think he may get edged every day for a while, if he’s up to it. [Lion — As If I wouldn’t be. Ha!]  His scheduled date isn’t for a while. I like to keep it vague. He says Christmas isn’t for a while either. Very true. A little less than six months away. I’ll definitely let him come before then.

By:
In: Lion's Journal, Male Chastity, Sex

Since enforced chastity is, at least in my case, a permanent state of affairs, it creates some interesting feelings in me. Most of the time I am unaware the device is even there. When naked, my normal state when home, my balls are pushed by the base ring in front of my body. As a result, I have to find a comfy place for them when I sit down. Mrs. Lion likes their prominence and often comments how nice they are always available to her. For my part, I have to always assure there is a comfortable resting place for their tender underside.  There are many little adjustments to make in order to make permanent chastity device wearing work.

I bought a bunch of new underwear until I could find some that accommodated the cage comfortably. I’ve learned to make slight adjustments as needed without looking like a baseball player grabbing his crotch. I think I have even adapted sexually. While I never got many unprovoked erections, they have nearly disappeared when the cage is locked on. Even the usual early morning erection seems to have disappeared. Of course, since my cage is so comfortable, erections never woke me from a sound sleep. It seems my penis has learned the futility of arousal while caged.

That doesn’t stop me from mental arousal and frustration. Unless I am fully occupied with an activity, my mind keeps wandering to how good it feels when Mrs. Lion rides me, sucks me, or plays with me. I count the days between each orgasm. I also count the days between teasing sessions. After all, teasing is most of my sex life now. I am edged at least twenty times for each orgasm I get. Another change I have made that puzzles me is the amount of noise I make during stimulation. For most of my life I have been almost silent during arousal and orgasm. Since being caged I am quite noisy. I hear myself making sounds that surprise me. I’m not trying to make them. They just happen. Maybe the edging has provoked them. My body is getting very frequent chances to experience the climb to ejaculation.

Before enforced chastity, orgasm was a simple, expected result of penile stimulation. Whether it was Mrs. Lion’s body, mouth, her hands, or my own; stimulation always climbed reliably to ejaculation. No surprises. No edging. Now, I have no expectation of ejaculating. The excitement builds and builds and builds, then stops without warning. Maybe I am learning to make the most of what I get. I certainly want the edging. I look forward to it. After all, I never know when  I will get an orgasm. The only route to one for me is to savor edging and hope for an ejaculating surprise.

I’m not sure I realized how routine orgasms were to me. Before caging, they were just part of sex. Get hard and come. That’s it. Times when I was teased without release were very rare. Of course I knew that once caged, I would have far fewer opportunities to ejaculate. Knowing and experiencing are very different. It took me a long time to finally internalize the fact that sex for me doesn’t usually include an orgasm. Without very regular teasing and edging, I think I would just push sex into the background until it became a fond memory. But since I am constantly reminded through teasing, this blog, and things Mrs. Lion says and writes, I can’t forget how much I want sex. The funny thing is that now when I think of sex for me, I think of edging. I don’t even consider ejaculation. It’s just so rare.

You may be thinking that it really isn’t that rare for me. I get to come every 7 to 15 days. Sometimes I may have to wait longer. But consider that I am teased and edged between 3 and 7 days a week. Each session, including those when I get an orgasm, contains at least two edging massages first. When I am unlocked and teased, the only reliable assumption is that I will be edged, not that I will ejaculate. When I have given Mrs. Lion orgasms, I remained in my cage and received no stimulation myself. I love those sessions. I get hard inside my cage when I can lick her. I can’t wait until she has her libido back. Prior to enforced chastity, I would have been disappointed if she didn’t provide me with an orgasm after she had hers. That no longer even crosses my mind. I suppose that makes me a better lover. My focus is no longer on the rush to ejaculate. I like this. What’s your experience with changes after being caged?

The one thing that sometimes concerns me is whether or not a change this basic to my male nature will have some side effects that leak out in other areas of my life. I’m no more submissive than I was before being caged, so that aspect of my personality is unchanged. That, in a way, is too bad. In some ways I am not surprised at these changes. They make sense in the context of the conditioning I am receiving. If we ever stopped enforced chastity, I suspect I won’t revert. I think these changes are permanent.

By:
In: Female led relationship with discipline, Keyholder, Male Chastity, Mrs Lion Comments

I’m all alone in the office today. Everyone else is at a conference. Aside from it being creepy with no one else around, I love it! No one is calling me. No one is emailing me. I’m in my element. Alone.

It may be difficult for some people to believe, but there actually those of us who like being alone. We need our down time. People frustrate us. It’s easy to get overloaded. Give me a corner somewhere away from everyone and I’m a happy camper.

Lion doesn’t understand that. Forget the fact that he’s alone most days for the moment. Even when he’s working he wants to come home and be with me. Let’s talk. Let’s interact. Let’s play. Let’s snuggle. That’s fine for the most part. But there are days that I have had too much interaction. I need some “me” time. Lion thinks “me” time means I want to be away from him. He’s not entirely wrong, but it’s everyone I want to be away from. Not just him. I need some space to get centered again. Generally I feel guilty when I abandon him, especially if he’s spent all day alone. So I try not to do it unless absolutely necessary. Luckily it isn’t usually absolutely necessary very often.

What does any of this have to do with chastity and FLM? Lion and I spend a lot of time together. Don’t get me wrong, I love spending time with Lion. But I can’t be on all the time. When he wants attention or needs me to make a decision or we have to go somewhere with a crowd, it can be exhausting if I don’t manage it correctly. I know, I’m a mess. I don’t know why Lion puts up with me.

Today I am basking in the aloneness. Tonight we’re going out to see a comedian perform. I don’t anticipate any system overload. And we have a quiet weekend ahead of us. So far things are looking up for a nice play weekend. Lion may get some sling time too. Lucky boy.

By:
In: Femdom, Lion's Journal, Male Control (training), Punishment

I spent all day Tuesday alone and uncaged. It did feel good to pee standing up, but I had no sense of additional freedom. I think that the amount of time I have spent caged has conditioned me to disregard my penis unless Mrs. Lion is attending to it. Tuesday night, my sweet lioness did some long overdue grooming. I am now completely free of pubic hair; smooth as a baby’s butt according to Mrs. Lion. A couple of hours after the grooming session, she played with me. I had an accidental ruined orgasm. This one was very intense for me, but so close to just edging that there was almost no ejaculate. I didn’t immediately lose my erection, but it faded after a minute or two. Maybe we can experiment a bit on how to bring me back after a ruined orgasm. It does feel good to be back in my cage.

I’ve been thinking a lot about the keyholder / disciplining wife role. So much of what I read by both the dominant women and the submissive men focus on expectations for the top. These expectations vary from bottom frustration when his top does housework or fails to tell him to do some menial task she chose to do, to tops worrying that they aren’t meeting their partner’s submissive needs. Some particularly arrogant writers offer “rules” that all of us must follow.

The simple fact is that we are all different. There is no right or wrong way to conduct a power exchange. There are, however, expectations that we all have. The two I think are most important are the two C’s constancy and content. You may not have heard of “content” in this context before. I use it to refer to some of the most important keys to successful domination. Since we are all different and there is no single road map to success, content is a general term that addresses your particular dominant activities. Let me explain.

If you attempt to establish a power exchange with a simple edict like, “Do all the chores.” and expect the bottom to get a satisfying submissive experience, you will both be disappointed. In many ways submission is a request for attention. The submissive partner wants to do things for his top; at least that’s what he says. What he means is quite different. In most cases he means that he wants to be obedient to you and experience your appreciation or disapproval of the results. That is content. It is the set of exchanges that allows him to experience your power, your appreciation, and your wrath. It’s attention. Enforced chastity doesn’t require more than locking up his penis and occasionally unlocking it and letting him get off. Very few males will be happy with this arrangement. He wants your participation.

The amount of participation is up to you. Many keyholders have their males remove and put on the chastity device. They just hold the key. Many also have the male do the edging and masturbating to orgasm when allowed. She doesn’t touch him at all. Others, like Mrs. Lion are very  hands-on. I am not permitted to play with my penis at all. Any sexual touching comes from her alone.  How you decide to do this is up to you. There is no right or wrong way to do this. The important thing is that there is content, not what that content is.

Consistency is critical in any long term power exchange. The caged male needs to understand the boundaries of his world. It doesn’t mean that everything has to always be the same. Change is fun and is critical to keeping things interesting. It’s just that he needs to understand what’s going on. If you want obedience, he needs to know your expectations. More important, he needs to experience consequences for disobedience every time he disobeys. Missing a chore should provoke a response from you. Any infraction, no matter how small, can go unnoticed. That doesn’t mean you need to spank him for everything. Just make sure he knows that you saw his infraction. A submissive male can become insecure in a world without consistent boundaries. The bottom line is that it isn’t important what you do. What counts is that you do something and you do it consistently.