It certainly wasn’t intentional. I don’t even remember exactly what I said. We were talking about nail polish, I think, and one thing led to another. Really, I just pushed it too far. And Lion told me I was actually starting to turn him off. And then he was soft. I did manage to sort of get him back. Then I was hot so took off my clothes, and there was talk of air conditioning, and things disintegrated again.
To salvage things, I decided to use my patented mouth to cock resuscitation. That seemed to work for a bit and then it failed too, but not before I asked him if he wanted to come. When he said yes it turned me on a little. I guess, if for no other reason than that glimmer of hope for my libido, the night was a success. Of course, it didn’t turn out the way I had intended. I wanted to edge my pet a few times. I don’t know that I would have given him an orgasm. I suppose I wanted to give him an orgasm to make up for turning him off initially. That may sound stupid, but when things went to hell I was grasping at straws.
Later on, Lion asked if we could try again tonight. Of course! I hope it will have a better outcome. Maybe he’ll wind up more frustrated. Maybe he’ll be basking in the afterglow of another orgasm. Maybe he’ll have a sore butt again. Almost anything would be better than last night. I know it can’t all be champagne and roses, but it rarely goes that badly. I feel like I tripped over the dog, fell down the stairs and landed in a hundred mouse traps. Nothing I did worked out. I don’t blame Lion a bit. This one is on me. One hundred percent.
Tonight I will be better prepared. I need to come up with a plan. I need to turn him on and keep him turned on. Everyone has bad nights. I just need to get right back up on that Lion and try again.
[Lion — I feel I should explain. Last night, Mrs. Lion started stimulating me (felt great!) and then started telling me how much I wanted her to do all the things she was doing. While true, at that moment I got the feeling that this was all for me and that she got nothing from it. She may not have meant that, but I felt very selfish and angry at myself. That triggered worries about how I am failing us financially and I slumped into depression. This isn’t Mrs. Lion’s fault. It’s mine. It’s a hard time for me to feel good about myself and it is very easy for me to slip into self doubt. Talk about it being my idea is easier for me to take while I am being spanked. At that point I regret making suggestions that result in so much pain in my ass.
Maybe I am just too emotionally sensitive right now and subject to feeling bad with little or no provocation. This wasn’t her fault at all. It was all me. I never want my lioness to feel badly. She works so hard to make me happy. I am very grateful to have a partner who cares so much about me. I am the luckiest critter in the world!]