There is a bit of folk wisdom that says a man will do anything for the promise of sex. Teenage girls learn that boys can be easily manipulated if you get them hard and then tell them what you want. You don’t have to get them off, just make them think that sex is possible if they obey. This, of course, is the basis for the old expression, “Leading him around by his cock.” It seems to me that this is the basis for modern enforced chastity. The general belief that one of the primary drivers of male behavior is the desire to have sex, suggests that if you control a male’s ability to orgasm, you control the male. I think a lot of us, including me, buy into this. There is no other logical genesis for enforced chastity.
Every single enforced chastity fantasy is about much more than just preventing orgasm. They’re all about controlling other male behavior using the possibility of orgasm as the carrot and extending the wait as the stick. Is this true? Are we that easy to control? From puberty onward, most of us combat this vulnerability by masturbating; providing our own orgasms. Granted, it’s not nearly as much fun as a partner stimulating us, but it does take care of the basic biological need. If you lock the penis in a device that prevents masturbation, then the only outlet becomes the person who has possession of the key to unlock it. All this is obvious. If this relatively inexpensive, easy system essentially tames a male, why don’t more women try to lock their partners in a chastity device? The simple fact is that nearly all enforced chastity is initiated by the male.
In all the time I have been writing about enforced chastity, I am only aware of two cases when the woman initiated it. Most of the fantasies are just the opposite. But in reality, this is a male-initiated activity. I asked Mrs. Lion to lock me up. I am very happy she did. I think there are some very good reasons why women don’t suggest enforced chastity. The first, I think, is that they are unaware there is such a thing as a male chastity device. Let’s face it, most people, male and female, have no idea that some men have their penises locked up and their orgasms controlled by their keyholders. If, by chance they learn of enforced chastity, the vast majority are shocked at the practice. They equate it with whips and chains. It’s way outside of their sexual comfort zone. Those of us who practice this know that. Do we tell our coworkers, family, and friends our penises are locked up? No way!
In fact, even though they know men can be manipulated with the promise of sex, women generally avoid that behavior. They feel it is unfair or wrong. Many of these women are perfectly comfortable using guilt as a control mechanism, but not sex. In the general population here in the U.S., sex is an uncomfortable subject for most people. It’s something they do in a dark bedroom. Even kinky people who practice exotic sexual activities and like BDSM, find using sex as a control tool to be uncomfortable. That’s why enforced chastity is such a exotic kink. The vast majority of the BDSM community practice power exchange for an hour or two at a time. Very few extend it to daily life. That small minority of us who want lifestyle control and want orgasm control and enforced chastity have an uphill struggle to actually live it. The first problem is to convince our partners to do it. Behavioral control isn’t in the vocabulary of most women (and men, for that matter).
Control by withholding ejaculation is something almost all women never considered. It isn’t that they are simply unaware of the practice. Those who have hear of it don’t believe that it works. Most men who try enforced chastity stop within a short time of starting. Those denial fantasies are hot. Actually being locked up for days at a time without hope of ejaculating is a different story. They discover that it isn’t all fun and games. That chastity device is hot to wear, but not so hot to be unable to remove. They discover that enforced chastity and orgasm control isn’t about sex at all. It’s about power. When the keyholder recognizes that this kink is about exerting control, the fantasies fade from the male mind and he realizes that things are changing on many levels. This is uncomfortable for most.
It isn’t just keyholders who have to move out of their comfort zones to practice enforced chastity. The caged males also discover that they aren’t just experiencing extended foreplay, they are no longer in control of sex; theirs or their partner’s. Almost by definition, when that locks snaps shut, they are sexually submissive and either have to learn to live with that or give up.
I’ve discovered that I can indeed be led around by my penis. I have to please my lioness to have any hope of ejaculation. In our case, Mrs. Lion schedules my orgasms and almost always sticks to that schedule. I have no doubt that if I displease her, I will not only get punished, she will extend how long I have to wait for my next orgasm. Just suggesting that if I don’t do something I will have to wait longer is enough to pull me up short and do what I am told. A spanking, no matter how painful, only lasts a short time. An extra three days of waiting feels like an eternity. Just knowing that I have absolutely no control over when and how I will orgasm, is a powerful incentive to be obedient. I’ve learned in the most graphic way possible, that I can indeed be led around by my penis. Even after more than a year and a half, it still works. I’m sure it will work forever.