Kinks That Help Relationships

Saturday night was orgasm night. Mrs. Lion gave me a play spanking that included her hand, a strap, and a suede flogger. When she was done, she commented wryly, “Not as red as when I punish you.”

I replied, “I would hope not!”

She then told me to roll over and proceeded to edge me over and over. She asked me if I was a puddle yet. I was and all I could do is nod. She then asked me if I wanted to come. I replied, “Yes.” Using her mouth she finished me off. Afterward she commented that I must have been very horny since I came almost immediately. I rolled my eyes. My next orgasm is scheduled for September 7. I can’t wait. Shortly after I came, Mrs. Lion handed me the base ring for my cage. In the past she would let me stay wild until I asked if she was going to lock me up. She now firmly takes the initiative.

Mrs. Lion has become very accomplished as my keyholder. The changes are subtle, but their impact is not lost on me. The most significant change is that she no longer gives in when I beg or whine for an orgasm. Until very recently, I have been careful not to beg because I don’t want to feel I am controlling when I get to come. I haven’t tested this yet, but based on her recent behavior I am pretty sure any begging will get a laugh and a “No.” from Mrs. Lion. That’s been my hope since we started. For me, at least, it isn’t so much how long she makes me wait (beyond a minimum number of days that guarantees I really want to come), as it is that she and she alone decides when I get release.

I’m very lucky that Mrs. Lion likes my penis and truly enjoys making me come. Some guys aren’t that lucky. I’ve noticed that some women are not visually attracted to a penis. Some dislike semen’s smell and taste. Enforced chastity is seen as a gift by them. Many chastity devices are solid tubes with only an opening in the end and perhaps some small vents cut in the side. This is perfect for the keyholder that isn’t fond of her mate’s member. Since many men believe that enforced chastity means transferring their sexual pleasure to their partner, the keyholder is happily relieved of the need to deal with semen as well. Many guys in this situation, when allowed to orgasm, are instructed to jerk off.

This arrangement is a win-win. They guy gets enforced abstinence and his wife’s enthusiastic support of a chastity device and transfer of sexual activity from him to her. She gets all the orgasms she wants and doesn’t have to deal with his penis at all. This arrangement works extremely well for some couples. Enforced chastity makes something that could badly stress the marriage into a benefit that both enjoy. That’s the thing about many so-called kinky practices: they turn a negative into a positive. Or, if you will, turning sexual lemons into lemonade.

In our case, enforced chastity has made lemonade from two issues that were causing us some unhappiness: The first is Mrs. Lion’s lack of libido; the second, my difficulty initiating sex. Both of these issues work together to make things worse than one alone. My inability to initiate, which it turns out was a sign from me that I wanted to surrender control, was interpreted by Mrs. Lion as me not thinking she was sexually attractive. Her lack of libido meant that she was perfectly happy that we had no sex. As a result, I felt terribly guilty asking Mrs. Lion to get me off. I felt horribly selfish.

We were both feeling badly in our own ways. Enforced chastity started a dialog about both of these topics. You can read that dialog here if you go back to when we started the blog. It also gave us a practical solution that has brought us closer and meets both of our needs. Mrs. Lion’s libido has not magically returned. Too bad. But, enforced chastity provides us with an active sex life that works for us both regardless. When Mrs. Lion gets her libido back, it won’t change the power dynamic. It will mean that in addition to my nearly-daily edging, there will be oral and manual orgasms for Mrs. Lion as well.

What people call kinky sex is more accurately sexual adaptation to specific needs. It’s way too easy to look down on so-called kink. A look just below the surface reveals that so-called kinky behavior represents a practical solution to something that could damage the relationship. There is a very good reason that Mrs. Lion and I have continued enforced chastity as long as we have: it solves a problem that was getting in the way before we started.

What do you think?