Month: August 2015 (Page 2)

Some weeks back, Lion said he’s tried not to beg for an orgasm because he doesn’t want me to feel like I have to give him one. I wasn’t sure how he’d react when I said today I want to get him so riled up he’ll have no option but to beg. When I asked him about it last night he said this time it doesn’t matter since it’s his scheduled date. The other times he didn’t want me to cave in because he was begging. I can understand that. I have, in the past, given him a lot more bonus orgasms than I have lately. For the most part now I think it’s funny when he is really horny. I think, in a sense, how silly he is to have begged me to deny him and now he begs me to give in. And then I’m back to the old standby – be careful what you wish for. This thought crosses my mind several times a week.

When he tells me it’s punishment day and he has X things on his list and he wishes I could just forget about them, I know he hates the punishment itself but loves the power exchange. When he tells me it’s maintenance day and I don’t really have to swat him because I’m very good at swatting already, no practice needed, I know he hates the swats but loves what they represent. When I edge him over and over and he really wants me to go too far, I know he hates when I stop but loves that he is not in charge. And even when he grumbles about my not being fair, a favorite complaint of toddlers, I know he wants me to keep him under control. So sometimes I can only shake my head and stop myself from saying that phrase.

Poor Lion. He did ask for it. I know sometimes he wants to kick himself for it. I wonder how many times a week that thought pops into his mind. There he is, thinking about how horny he is and how much he wants to come and how mean I am for not letting him and bam! out of nowhere, he realizes he wanted all this. And he must think, at least for a split second, how stupid he was. And then, of course, he realizes how lucky he is.

Yesterday, in her post, Mrs. Lion sent the unmistakable message that today I will be teased until I am a “lion puddle” and then allowed an orgasm. As she so aptly pointed out, “Sex is free.” So our current financial distress won’t get in the way. We also have a large collection of toys and enough lube to supply an elephant orgy. So, today promises to be very interesting. I’m looking forward to it. Yesterday I had another job interview. This was the final round for an interesting, well-paid position. I was told that I nailed it by the hiring manager. That is a very good sign. Next week promises to signal the start of a less stressful life for the Lions. Both tomorrow’s orgasm and next week’s likely good news have cheered me up. For the first time in months, I don’t have that sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. Well, it’s not entirely gone, but it has receded quite a bit. Also in her post yesterday, Mrs. Lion committed to increased sexual activity with me. I am hoping this will begin awakening her libido. No pressure, Mrs. Lion! Really.

I’m sure you’ve noticed that Mrs. Lion and I communicate via this blog. You generally learn of her plans for me at the same time I do. When we first started the blog, we would almost always get at least one comment a day telling Mrs. Lion how to manage me. She was giving me too many orgasms, she should make me wear panties, I should do all the housework, etc. We don’t get many of them any more. I’ve also noticed that the chastity forums and blogs aren’t discussing “security” much either. I’m very happy that this is on the decline.

The idea that a chastity device has to be inescapable has probably stopped more men from practicing enforced chastity than anything else. I’ve written a lot about how modern devices that lock to a cock ring are almost by definition possible to escape. To make escape more difficult there are limited options. The most common one is to make the cock and ball ring smaller in diameter. A smaller base ring leaves less room to squeeze a soft penis out. Unfortunately, a smaller base ring will cut circulation to the scrotum, penis and balls as well as being irritating and painful to wear. Another popular idea is to put spikes in the cage that will snag the penis if an attempt is made to pull it out of the cage. Unfortunately, those spikes will also painfully dig into the penis if it starts to get hard. So, the more important inescapable security is, the less likely it will be possible to wear the device for much time.

Enforced chastity doesn’t require a device at all. Surrendering sexual control is all that is required. The device is supposed to prevent “cheating” and provide reassurance to the keyholder he is not ejaculating without permission. Whether or not I am in a device, I will not ejaculate unless Mrs. Lion wants it. I’m married whether or not I wear my wedding ring. I am under her orgasm control whether in a device or not. If you are just starting out with enforced chastity, the most important concept to learn is that it is you, not the chastity device that keeps you from unauthorized orgasms.

It’s amazing what a nice edging session can do. It might have taken a little bit to get his motor running, but we had fun. After I edged him once I got out some lube. We both love when he’s slippery. I have no idea how many times I edged him, but there were some very close calls. He even edged himself by bucking and stopping just short. I was relentless toward the end. I’d stop and then start right back up again. Poor Lion. He was in heaven.

Lion only has to wait one more day for an orgasm. He’s had a few very short waits because I gave him a bonus orgasm. I don’t have access to my calendar while I’m at work so I don’t know how long his next wait is, but I think it might be about ten days again. Just long enough to make it interesting. Assuming we’re not preoccupied by life, edging him every day should make him incredibly horny by the end of his wait. With so many things still up in the air, I don’t want to make him wait long anyway. I do need to be more consistent in playing with him. I need to keep his interest up. Outside distractions will happen. Consistency is important.

I’m working today and Lion has an interview later. We’ve already started the weekend off on the wrong foot. I am determined, however, to have a good weekend. As I mentioned yesterday, we’ll be playing in some capacity. I don’t care if it kills us. We’ve been in this lull for too long. Sex is free so we should be enjoying ourselves regardless of the financial situation. We have all the toys we need. The lube is abundant. At the very least, I have my hands. They’re useful for spanking, jerking, anal play, etc.

My goal is to have Lion begging for his orgasm tomorrow night. I want a big, horny puddle of Lion who absolutely needs to come. I’m not sure how I’ll get him there, but I want him to have no thought on his mind other than how he can convince me that right-this-very-second is the perfect time to give him his orgasm. Are you up for it, Lion? I am.

[Lion — You bet!]

In a recent conversation (Thursday morning emails), I reminded Mrs. Lion that it was punishment day and that I owed her for the incomplete spanking on Monday. She replied that she had been thinking that she owed me some swats. Both of us, of course, are correct. We both chuckled about how different are point of views are. The exchange also reminded me how punishment fits into my overall mental health. Many people have written that punishment makes them feel that they have “paid” for their infraction; absolution by pain. Well, I don’t feel guilty about eating a strawberry from my drink before Mrs. Lion had eaten. At boarding school this sort of gaffe would have earned me a dirty look from the table head.

What I do feel is a jolt of excitement. It isn’t anticipation for the spanking. Oh no. I hate that. It’s a feeling of gratitude that Mrs. Lion cares enough to notice when I break a rule. When she pointed out my error, I felt that little jolt. I wasn’t entirely sure why I reacted that way, but on reflection I realize that I was happy she cared enough to enforce her rule. I see her being strict with me as a sign of her love. I understand that others love the feeling of submission that punishment provides. It isn’t like that for me.

Surprisingly, it isn’t the punishment I crave. It’s the structure.  The fact that my lioness makes and enforces rules gives me a strong sense of being loved. This isn’t surprising given my past. As a child, I was a latchkey kid. My parents were never very interested in me. They both worked and preferred spending their spare time with other adults, not me. This led to a feeling of abandonment. They sent me to sleep-away camp starting when I was 8. At 13 I was off to boarding school. I’m not saying that this formed my current personality. I was always turned on by power exchange, even as a small boy. But it does, at least partly, explain why domestic discipline works for me.

Domestic discipline is often employed to help correct serious character flaws like cheating or drinking. It is also popular with people who want power exchange but don’t want to be “kinky”. These people generally are male dominant/female submissive couples who rationalize the practice with religion. They maintain the pretense that neither partner enjoys the practice, but must do it in the name of their beliefs. I suspect that even in these cases, domestic discipline is essentially sexual for both partners. Spanking the bare bottom certainly has a sexual component and is the preferred domestic discipline method of correction.

Back to Mrs. Lion and I. It’s undeniable that I get a sexual thrill when told I broke a rule and will be punished. It’s the same feeling I have had since I was a little boy. It’s obviously how I am wired. The spanking itself isn’t sexual to me. If it were, Mrs. Lion would have been rewarding me for bad behavior and she would need to search for other ways to punish me. The turn on is her power over me. The emotional satisfaction comes from the realization that she watches me and cares enough to correct me. It also comes from feeling her willingness to set rules and boundaries for me. That explains why hearing her tell me, “Good job”, or “Good boy” gives me that little zing too.

I know that Mrs. Lion sometimes feels that she is being “mean” to me, or that she is demeaning me when she says “good job”. By nature, she is a very forgiving, accepting woman. Being strict, much less mean, is very unnatural for her. She is beginning to see that when she is strict, I am happier and more interested in sex. What she considers demeaning or humiliating actually feels good to me. Still, we both know it will take a long time for her to feel good about being this way. It will also take time for her to learn how to watch for infractions and enforce them as soon after they occur as she can. When she dials all this up, I may learn that sitting down will be uncomfortable most of the time. A lion can only hope.