Shifting Focus

picture of burger sign and washington state fair

Don’t you just love fair signs? This one caught our interest and we had half-pound burgers. They were great! We also bought some freshly-made fudge. Yum!

This is my last day of unemployment. I start my new job tomorrow morning. I am feeling some “first day of school” nerves. It’s been a long while since I have been working. I hope I will live up to the expectations my new employer has of me. Yup, first day jitters. Friday night, Mrs. Lion played with me and then left me wild. She didn’t say why she chose to do it. I’m enjoying the freedom. Of course it doesn’t change anything, but it is so nice to pee standing up. We went to the Washington State Fair yesterday. It was a lot of fun to wander around. We also ate our share of fair food. This splurge cheered us up a lot. We have always enjoyed fairs. We enjoy walking around hand-in-hand seeing the sights.

There was a note in my mailbox from a reader with a question I often get:

I wear a Jail Bird from Mature Metal. I need definitely a smaller
one. The cage must be of smaller diameter and shorter. I wear a 1 5/8″ base
ring. But this allows me not only to pull 1 but 3 fingers below the ring. So
I am somehow convinced that a smaller one would do too. I would like to
order once size smaller (1 1/2″). Now the problem. When I wear such a ring
for several days it begins to hurt terribly because of nightly erections. If
the smaller cage wouldn’t allow my little self to become fully erect I could
easily wear this smaller ring. What do you recommend for me?

This is the same situation I found myself in several months ago. I noticed (don’t ask why I was fiddling around down there) that I could get at least two fingers in if I pushed in between my base ring and the top of my penis. So, I ordered new base rings, each one 1/16th inch smaller than the last. I discovered that I had painful chafing even reducing the ring size by just 1/16th inch. What that taught me was that the original 1 3/4″ base ring was the smallest I can wear without pain. Since I am not really worried about escaping, it was a no-brainer to go back to the original size. The writer also wants a smaller cage. He thinks that the smaller size will prevent erections and therefore make it easier to wear the smaller base ring.

That’s just not the case. Each time I try to get an erection, the tissue under and behind the base ring also floods with blood. The cage size has no effect on it. There is no relationship between base ring diameter and cage size. My page, Getting a Good Fit, discusses how to estimate correct ring and cage sizing. I’ve learned that, at least in my case, the cage should be about 1/4″ smaller in diameter than the flaccid diameter of my penis. The length should be at least 1/2″ shorter. I know that sounds extreme, and when you first get the cage it will be uncomfortable, but it ends up being completely comfortable and fits like a glove. You want the sides and head of your penis to always be in contact with the cage.

Apparently all of us focus on the chastity device when we first start out. Some guys obsess about getting the most secure device in the world. Then, there is the getting-used-to-the-device period. During this time most of us do a lot of online reading trying to learn as much as we can about enforced chastity. If you stick with it, you eventually get to the point that the device is no longer the focus. Your attention shifts from hardware to abstinence and the way it affects you. The device isn’t required for you to remain chaste. The device and escape become irrelevant. After all, I learned that no matter how horny I am, I won’t do anything myself. Only Mrs. Lion can provide me with relief. If you are new to enforced chastity, keep in mind that the device isn’t what keeps you chaste; it’s your decision to surrender your sexual control to your keyholder. With that in mind, it’s obvious your best choice is the most comfortable device you can find. If you’re like me, it will be locked on your penis for a long, long time.

 

Male half of a happy couple practicing enforced male chastity and FLR with discipline. Locked since 1/2014. FLR 3/2015. Lion's first mouth soaping was 7/17.

6 comments on “Shifting Focus
  1. boi paul says:

    Good Luck on your first day back to work….I have been retired going on seven Years now and Serve the Wife 24/7 Chasity started for Us 16 years ago.

    boi

  2. I know that you don’t need luck because you will be great. But I hope that you enjoy the job and people that you will be working with. So, in spite of it being unnecessary, good luck, my friend.

  3. Caged Lion says:

    Thanks, my friend. Your good wishes mean a lot to me.

  4. Mark says:

    I’m very happy for you that the long dry spell has ended! I completely agree with your thoughts about the emphasis placed on the device, and living with it, during the early stages. Once you’ve found something that works for you, it all becomes much more about the experience of being chaste, and how that affects your interaction with your keyholder (partner, presumably). This is the reason I got involved with chastity in the first place, and I’m very happy that now my wife and I have made it to this phase.
    ~

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