Positive And Negative Reinforcement

I accepted Mrs. Lion’s assigned wait time of 13 days with equanimity. Of course, today is only the second day after my orgasm. It’s easy to accept a wait now that I am not desperately horny. I knew the party had to end. As I wrote yesterday in my post, we had discussed and I had given thought to the continuation of my captivity. We both realized that what we are doing now is very effective for us. We also know that Mrs. Lion’s approach to my wait times works for us. So we will continue. I’m sure that Mrs. Lion will make me wait much longer from time to time; probably not more than a month or so. I realize that it isn’t the length of the wait that gets my attention. It’s the wide differences in time between orgasms.

The short waits, four days sometimes, interrupted by a much longer one seem to keep me horny and interested in being well behaved and obedient. Actually, so far Mrs. Lion hasn’t associated my waits with my behavior. When I misbehave she handles it in a different way, usually with a firmly applied paddle. As a result, I don’t think about my waits in terms of behavior. They are predetermined. Mrs. Lion sits down every so often and marks her calendar with my orgasm days. She doesn’t change that often; only doing so when an occasion makes an adjustment sensible. She does reward me for going well above and beyond with a bonus orgasm. So, in my mind, being extra good earns me an orgasm; being naughty, a very painful spanking. To make this all maximally effective, she needs me very horny as much of the time as possible so that I will strive for that bonus orgasm. To do that, my waits are mostly under 14 days. After 14 days my interest tends to plateau or decline regardless of teasing and edging.

I don’t think that this separation of rewards and punishment was a conscious plan. But I think it turns out to be a happy accident. I am being conditioned to associate sexual satisfaction with being more pleasing  to my lioness. I associate being naughty (a toddler as she says) with a very painful punishment, but not associated with when I will get my next orgasm. This clear difference between reward and punishment is very effective. How long I wait for an orgasm is an arbitrary decision by Mrs. Lion. My behavior doesn’t influence my scheduled orgasm dates. However, I can earn a bonus orgasm that can reduce my wait substantially. The fact that my behavior doesn’t affect my schedule makes me work much harder for a bonus. I think that positive reinforcement is much better at behavior modification than negative reinforcement.

Let me explain how that works with me. Let’s say I have ten more days to wait. If Mrs. Lion connected my wait to behavior, if I do something that annoys her, she would add days to my wait. That seems to be an effective punishment, but it isn’t. Sure I will be upset for a while, but the upset is intellectual. Emotionally and physically, ten days is pretty far off, so changing the ten to 15 isn’t going to make me suffer. By the time the tenth day rolls around I will already be prepared for a 15 day wait. The more immediate a punishment is to the offense, the more effective it is. So waiting  extra days is way in the future. I won’t really associate the extra time with what I did wrong. But if right after the offense or a day or two later I get a painful spanking, I will associate the pain with my bad behavior. Similarly, if I get a bonus orgasm after Mrs. Lion recognizes my extra effort, I associate the reward with pleasing her.

FLM and enforced chastity are power exchanges. In our case, these exchanges include Mrs. Lion’s ability to require my obedience and discipline me as needed. She also has the ability to give me rewards. She is truly dominating me on a lifestyle basis. She is indisputably in charge here. If I start to forget that, she will remind me with her paddle.

What do you think?