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In: Mrs Lion Comments

I hate roller coasters. Not surprisingly, Lion loves them. I’m not afraid of them. I’ll go on them with him if he wants me to. I just don’t like the ups and downs and sudden turns. I don’t like the roller coaster nature of our existence lately either. And now my mother has jumped on one. She has so many doctors with so many different theories, she goes from death’s door one day to being on the mend the next. Emotionally it’s very draining. Am I making an emergency trip to see her? Am I waiting for the inevitable? Am I going to get good news? It’s worse on my sister. She gets all the calls from all the doctors and, since she lives closer, runs to the hospital every other day hoping for the best but expecting the worst. Today we got good news. She is stable again. We’re hoping for good news on the job front too. Lion should hear later today if a job offer will come through for at least one of his prospects. Fingers crossed.

We didn’t play last night. Lion wasn’t interested. He’s nervous about the jobs. With all the craziness with my mother, I wasn’t really interested either. Tonight we will play. It’s important to keep myself on the every other day schedule at the very least. Whether Lion is horny or not, I will unlock him and give him some attention. I’m still not to the point that I will insist he get hard so I can edge him. Forcing him is not on my agenda. Will it be at some point? Perhaps. I can’t see into the future. It depends on the circumstances. It’s difficult to insist when we’re both under so much stress. On the other hand, we can’t give up altogether. That’s why, no matter what, he will be unlocked and given the opportunity tonight. No pressure. The last thing either of us needs is more pressure.

We’re just playing it by ear. Lion will be wild for our last trip of the season this weekend. When we get home he will be locked safely away again. I haven’t decided if he will get any regular opportunities to be wild as he has this summer. There was a certain necessity for his being wild in the trailer. At home he has no such need. Does that mean he doesn’t deserve a wild weekend now and then? I haven’t decided. Sometimes he sees being wild as a reward and other times he doesn’t like being wild. It’s difficult to know how he will react if I announce that he will be wild for a certain length of time. I guess we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.

By:
In: Female led relationship with discipline, Lion's Journal, Male Chastity

The essence of enforced chastity is sexual control As a caged male, I have surrendered control to Mrs. Lion. That’s no surprise to anyone. As we have both been writing over the last few days, our relationship has improved along with restoration of sexual activity. This has puzzled both of us. Yesterday, in her post, Mrs. Lion discussed how her approach has changed as a result of enforced chastity. She’s right. It’s been amazing. I have a slightly different take on this. I think that enforced chastity and FLM have leveled the playing field and as a result, allowed Mrs. Lion to say things she would have never expressed in the past.

In many ways we are opposites. I am a take-charge sort of guy and she is laid back and accepting. Mrs. Lion would rather endure something she doesn’t want rather than expressing her dislike. So, I would end up driving everything my way; not out of selfishness or the need to control, but because there were never objections. I thought I was doing what we both want. I wasn’t. The two of us were doing exactly the wrong things. The fact that we love each other so much and we get along so well kept us happily married. But under the surface there were bad feelings.

As Mrs. Lion wrote, because I wouldn’t initiate sex, she decided to do nothing on her part. The result was no sex for a very long time. We both felt badly about it, but for our individual reasons, we never talked about it. When I discovered inexpensive, easy-to-wear chastity devices in 2013, it revived my interest in enforced chastity. I’ve written about that in the past. Spurred on by being very horny and my long interest in male chastity, I asked Mrs. Lion if she would try enforced chastity with me. She agreed.

After we started enforced chastity things started to change. I want to be careful to emphasize that things started to change, not our natures. I remained the take-charge, sometimes-toddler lion. Mrs. Lion was still the accepting, make-no-waves lioness. The thing is that our agreement to pursue our particular flavor of enforced chastity required us to behave differently. I agreed to surrender and Mrs. Lion agreed to take charge. We established domestic discipline for offenses. None of that guaranteed we would actually change our patterns. But if we failed to change, we couldn’t escape admitting our failure.

What we didn’t realize was that the very things that pushed us apart would work to keep us going with enforced chastity. Mrs. Lion’s desire to make me happy and to go along with things assured that she would continue keeping me caged. My strong personality and desire to try chastity would have me “suggesting” things to Mrs. Lion and otherwise pushing her to take charge. Over time, Mrs. Lion actually began to take charge. She filtered my “suggestions” and spanked me for being petulant or too bossy. Much more importantly, she has begun to tell me when things I do upset her. A perfect example of this was when I grumbled about doing all the work around the house. The next day she let me know that I was wrong. She pointed out how much she does, and said that she should have spanked me for my behavior. She didn’t. But she recognized that she should. The quiet, accepting lioness was learning to growl.

This is the change that I think makes enforced chastity and FLM successful for us. The weaknesses that in the past got between us, are now front and center. More importantly, we have a mechanism we agreed on to handle these issues. We haven’t changed all that much yet, but it’s clear that we are changing. It’s also clear that she won’t turn into a super strict dominatrix, or that I will become a weak submissive. We are moving toward the center. We are learning to talk about things that we never discussed before. We are both happier now.

 

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In: Mrs Lion Comments, Sex

Lion has always maintained that a vibrator would not work on him. I was surprised when he wanted to try one. It arrived yesterday and I decided we needed to take it on a test run.

Not knowing what I was doing, we tried it with the cage on. Lion guided me until I found the spot that worked. He was instantly hard in his cage. When I unlocked him he was very hard. Perhaps the hardest I’ve ever seen him. But how can this be? Vibrators don’t work on Lion.

Clearly Lion hadn’t used the correct vibrator in the past. This Magic Wand is very effective. Once he calmed down so he could get his ring off, I started in with the vibrator again. I’m not sure why it surprised me that he got so hard so quickly. And once I found that spot again he had an orgasm within a minute or two.

We were both surprised that he came so quickly. He said he had given me fair warning. I was just experimenting with my new toy. I’m not sorry he came. How can I know the effects of the vibrator if I don’t experiment? How do I know how far to push him if I don’t push him too far? I had it all under control. Besides, vibrators don’t work on Lion.

I’ve been thinking about Lion’s post for a while, trying to come up with why things got boring to me and why they’re different now. Without sounding sanctimonious, I think I realized it’s not all about me. Yes, it may have started out with his inability to initiate and he wasn’t doing anything for me so I wasn’t going to do anything for him. The WIIFM (What’s In It For Me) was a big problem. Eventually I didn’t care about sex at all. Once we started chastity and worked through the WIIFM I came to my aha moment. Withholding sex was childish. In my mind I hadn’t really considered it withholding sex anyway. It was more of a quid pro quo thing. Wasn’t Lion withholding sex from me by not initiating? Therefore, I was clearly in the right by not initiating with him. Yup. Childish.

The bottom line is that I love Lion more than anything. Why would I want to hurt him by withholding sex? Why wouldn’t I want to do everything I can to make him happy? What difference does it make that I don’t want sex for myself? If he needs something and I can do it, then I will do it. There are things I may not like to do, so I won’t do them often. There may be things that I don’t want to do at all. There has to be some compromise. That’s what adults do.

I may lapse back into childhood from time to time. Lion does too. He has his toddler moments. But overall I think we’ve grown up a lot since starting enforced chastity. I think that’s why it’s not boring.

[Lion — I still feel very guilty that I can’t get Mrs. Lion’s motor running again. Maybe my inability to initiate all this time hurt her permanently. I love giving her orgasms and I feel very sad she can’t enjoy them.]

By:
In: Lion's Journal, Male Chastity, Sex

Sunday night we had a short conversation about my post yesterday. I mentioned that our adoption of enforced chastity rejuvenated our sex lives. When we were first going together and Mrs. Lion began trying some spanking and other kinks, she said she was worried she would get bored with it all. She didn’t, thank goodness. I asked her if it had turned out boring. She surprised me by saying that it did and that was why we stopped having sex. We had arrived at a stalemate. I wouldn’t have labeled it “boredom” but the net result was no sex.  We’ve both written about that before.

I asked her why our present arrangement was more interesting for her. She still isn’t getting sex; she doesn’t want any. She spends a lot of time and effort teasing me and providing other sexual entertainment. Certainly, it is a lot more than in the past decade. I am confused. Nothing has changed in terms of the sexual satisfaction she gets. Her libido is sleeping and she isn’t interested in anything for her. So, what’s different? I admit that I am confused. I’m also not looking a gift horse in the mouth.

The most confusing aspect of this for me is that Mrs. Lion isn’t really interested in power. She has repeatedly said that she doesn’t like being in charge. So, I am not at all sure why all the extra work that enforced chastity entails is better than before we started. There is no question that things are better now than they have been in a decade. Perhaps I shouldn’t wonder why it is better, but I can’t help it.

It’s better for me because some basic needs of mine, including sex, are being met. Mrs. Lion has become a very good keyholder and is well on the way to becoming a gold-star, disciplinary wife. I’m very grateful and happy with the changes. I just worry about what she gets out of this. I hope that she will want more orgasms soon. If she likes them (a real question), there is something in it for her. I’m not worried she will quit. I am concerned that she gets something out of it. I feel selfish with things as they are now. I also have no idea why enforced chastity and domestic discipline is somehow better for her than when we did nothing. Inquiring lions want to know.