Lion had an excellent idea yesterday. I suggested the idea a while ago, but he actually implemented it. Yesterday, while already smoking some ribs, he made a big pot of stew. Now, with some leftover ribs, we have four days worth of food. We froze some of the stew since we don’t think we’ll really want stew three days in a row. And a giant benefit of making stew is that the house smelled like stew all night. They should make a stew scented air freshener. Anyway, knowing dinner is all taken care of is a big weight off our minds.

However, this morning Lion added another weight to our minds. He can’t find his phone. I teased him that if he had an iPhone he could use the Where’s My iPhone app to find it. He has a Windows phone which has almost no apps available. He doesn’t like my iPhone or Apple products in general. He teases me about Apple problems and I tease him about Windows problems. Adding to the search problems, his phone is set to vibrate so it isn’t as simple as calling it. We’ll have to wait till we get home to look for it.

His missing phone falls on a punishment day. He said he dropped ice cubes yesterday when he reminded me of punishment day. I saw the ice maker spewing ice at him. It wasn’t his fault. I wasn’t going to count it. I did tell him that if dropping ice becomes an issue again, it will be considered for punishment. I said I may count losing his phone as an offense. I know he didn’t do it on purpose. I know I put my phone down all the time and can’t find it right away. I told him it would only be an offense if we can’t find it at all. It can’t have gone far. He just had it last night. It’s just one more thing to worry about.

Since Lion did a lot of cooking yesterday, he was too tired to play last night. This morning the Lion weather report is horny. A very good thing since we’ll try again tonight to ensure we keep on schedule. I don’t want to be accused of neglecting him again. We will attempt to play every night. I did offer last night and that’s when he said he was tired. From my point of view, as long as I offer, I am covered. If he declines then I haven’t ignored him. Yes, I’m covering my ass. I get a little gun shy when he says I don’t hold up my end of the bargain, especially when we knew there might be issues ahead of time. I know this is a longer wait so I will do what I can to keep him interested.

We also haven’t really played in a while. I know I said we’d do more anal play. Having the butt plug slip further in sort of threw me the last time we tried it. I’m worried about using it again. I guess there’s nothing else to do but try again. If it slips in again, we’ll try something else. He’ll never get used to things if I’m not consistent with them. We’ll work on it again tonight. Maybe by the time we get to his next orgasm, he’ll be able to take the bigger Njoy.

I accepted Mrs. Lion’s assigned wait time of 13 days with equanimity. Of course, today is only the second day after my orgasm. It’s easy to accept a wait now that I am not desperately horny. I knew the party had to end. As I wrote yesterday in my post, we had discussed and I had given thought to the continuation of my captivity. We both realized that what we are doing now is very effective for us. We also know that Mrs. Lion’s approach to my wait times works for us. So we will continue. I’m sure that Mrs. Lion will make me wait much longer from time to time; probably not more than a month or so. I realize that it isn’t the length of the wait that gets my attention. It’s the wide differences in time between orgasms.

The short waits, four days sometimes, interrupted by a much longer one seem to keep me horny and interested in being well behaved and obedient. Actually, so far Mrs. Lion hasn’t associated my waits with my behavior. When I misbehave she handles it in a different way, usually with a firmly applied paddle. As a result, I don’t think about my waits in terms of behavior. They are predetermined. Mrs. Lion sits down every so often and marks her calendar with my orgasm days. She doesn’t change that often; only doing so when an occasion makes an adjustment sensible. She does reward me for going well above and beyond with a bonus orgasm. So, in my mind, being extra good earns me an orgasm; being naughty, a very painful spanking. To make this all maximally effective, she needs me very horny as much of the time as possible so that I will strive for that bonus orgasm. To do that, my waits are mostly under 14 days. After 14 days my interest tends to plateau or decline regardless of teasing and edging.

I don’t think that this separation of rewards and punishment was a conscious plan. But I think it turns out to be a happy accident. I am being conditioned to associate sexual satisfaction with being more pleasing  to my lioness. I associate being naughty (a toddler as she says) with a very painful punishment, but not associated with when I will get my next orgasm. This clear difference between reward and punishment is very effective. How long I wait for an orgasm is an arbitrary decision by Mrs. Lion. My behavior doesn’t influence my scheduled orgasm dates. However, I can earn a bonus orgasm that can reduce my wait substantially. The fact that my behavior doesn’t affect my schedule makes me work much harder for a bonus. I think that positive reinforcement is much better at behavior modification than negative reinforcement.

Let me explain how that works with me. Let’s say I have ten more days to wait. If Mrs. Lion connected my wait to behavior, if I do something that annoys her, she would add days to my wait. That seems to be an effective punishment, but it isn’t. Sure I will be upset for a while, but the upset is intellectual. Emotionally and physically, ten days is pretty far off, so changing the ten to 15 isn’t going to make me suffer. By the time the tenth day rolls around I will already be prepared for a 15 day wait. The more immediate a punishment is to the offense, the more effective it is. So waiting  extra days is way in the future. I won’t really associate the extra time with what I did wrong. But if right after the offense or a day or two later I get a painful spanking, I will associate the pain with my bad behavior. Similarly, if I get a bonus orgasm after Mrs. Lion recognizes my extra effort, I associate the reward with pleasing her.

FLM and enforced chastity are power exchanges. In our case, these exchanges include Mrs. Lion’s ability to require my obedience and discipline me as needed. She also has the ability to give me rewards. She is truly dominating me on a lifestyle basis. She is indisputably in charge here. If I start to forget that, she will remind me with her paddle.

The training wheels are off. We have one week of Lion’s new job under our belts. It’s true that we haven’t ironed out all the details of when he’ll get home and who is doing dinner, but going forward we just need to do it. Lion is back in his cage. The semi-nightly (at least) play will resume. Back to business as usual.

Yesterday, Lion had his orgasm. I didn’t really think I was going to make him wait the extra day. When I saw how horny he was Friday night, there was little doubt he’d meet my horniness criteria Saturday. In fact, when he was putting the ring on Friday night he got himself all excited again and I had to wait a few minutes to put the cage on.

Since we were going to the movies last night, Lion wondered if we were playing before or after. Well, after would have put it past his new turning-into-a-pumpkin hour of 9 p.m. so it had to be before the movie. It took no time at all for him to get hard. So much for his worry about never being turned on again. (For the record, I don’t worry about my not being turned on ever again either although Lion does.) I edged him a few times by hand and then decided I could do a lot more “damage” with my mouth. I got him so close a few times, I thought I went too far. The only problem with using my mouth is that by the time I’m ready for his orgasm, he’s beyond ready and it only takes a few strokes before he’s done. It’s not really a problem. I just like to suck him longer. I guess I’m just greedy.

We’re now into Lion’s next wait. Thirteen days. It’s a fairly long wait for him. It’s not undoable. He’s done it before. He doesn’t like it, but it’s better than a fifteen day wait. Or twenty. See? You just have to put things into perspective. It’s not like I handed down a thirty day sentence to him. I don’t think he’s ever gone thirty days. I could have, but I don’t think either one of us wants to wait that long. That’s not what our chastity game is about. We just want reasonable waits with me determining those waits. And, of course, torturing him throughout the wait.

Tonight, he will be unlocked and edged. Will he be horny again tonight? I’m not sure. I haven’t gotten the Lion weather report yet. My guess is that he might not be very horny, but I can have some fun with him anyway. Even if I can’t edge him, he’ll get the attention he craves. And that will start our week off right.

new york times crossword puzzle
New York Times Crossword puzzle edited by Will Shortz

Last night we went to the movies. This is a very rare treat for us, especially since I lost my job. Mrs. Lion doesn’t like going out very much, but when we we both really like what we learn about a film, we consider going to see it. About one in five times this happens, we actually go. Last night we saw “The Intern”. We both really liked it and were sorry when it ended. This is one of those theaters where they also serve food and drinks. So we got there about an hour early and treated ourselves to burgers. For us it was most festive. This theater always runs a bunch of short subjects while people come in. One of the shorts was about Will Shortz, the crossword editor of the “New York Times.” It was a very short documentary about a commitment he made in 2013 to play ping pong every day for a year. No matter where in the world he was, he played every day. The film showed him in a bunch of places.

That film hit home with me. A short time after we began enforced chastity, I started this blog. When I started it, I made a commitment to myself to write a post every day; to make this my journal as I surrendered my sexuality. This is the 623rd day in a row I have written a post. I haven’t missed a day since the blog started. I’m proud that I am keeping that promise to myself. I frequently wonder what I will write for the next day, but somehow manage to come up with a post. Mrs. Lion has been posting daily since she started writing here. Together, we’ve managed to produce two posts each and every day. We’ve done it when camping, during power failures, and when crises makes us crazy. Like enforced chastity, it’s become a fixture in our lives; one that gives us a chance to communicate with you and each other. Very frequently I learn about my fate the same time you do. She learns about my feelings and wishes through my posts as well. We both read and discuss every comment we get.

Yesterday, during the afternoon, Mrs. Lion edged me a few times and then gave me an oral orgasm. It was a really big one. Wow, for a guy who thought his interest in sex was over, it was a nuclear release. Mrs. Lion reminded me that I was grumbling my sex drive was gone only two days before. She told me that was silly and that I’m not broken. Once again she was right. Within a few minutes of coming, she handed me the base ring and then locked me up again. My wild days are clearly over.

As she wrote in her post yesterday, I’ve discussed being unlocked with her. I’m aware that many guys who have been practicing enforced charity for quite a while frequently go without the device. I asked Mrs. Lion if she knew why the device is important to us. She didn’t know. I don’t either, but I believe it is important. Maybe it is an unforgettable reminder of our sexual power exchange. More importantly, maybe my sexual helplessness assures that we both will remain mindful that for me to have any sexual pleasure, she must be actively involved. Knowing that forces us to discuss any lapse or potential lapse in our sexual schedule. It doesn’t mean that Mrs. Lion can’t skip one or more days of teasing, but it does mean we will talk about it. Long gone are the days when we avoided the discomfort of discussing our lack of sexual activity. I guess that I worry we could go back to that if the cage came off, even if we continued orgasm control. It may be irrational. The cage may be our sexual totem that brings us continued sexual closeness. That’s probably the case. It has superstitious value as the harbinger of continued sexual activity. The inconveniences of wearing it appease the sexual gods and keep the good times rolling for us. It’s not that I can’t escape; I don’t dare. If I do, those gods will stop smiling on us and sex will disappear. I’m not completely serious about that, but there is a grain of truth to it.