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In: Female led relationship with discipline, Mrs Lion Comments

Most people I know like a little freedom. When the boss stops looking over your shoulder, you feel a little more comfortable. There’s no need to micromanage most people. Lion is not most people. When I allowed him to be wild for his first week of work I thought I was being nice. When I said we’d need a while to figure out the logistics of his working full time again, I thought I was being realistic. When we were both tired, I thought it was normal. I was wrong. So, no more Mrs. Nice Lion.

Lion said all I had to do was tell him not to watch TV. I didn’t have to hide the remotes. Yeah. Right. Sure. Is that like when I told him he needed to turn off the TV while we play? Or when I said I hate that the TV is even in the bedroom? But now I can tell him to pause any show at any time? Uh huh. I think I should hide them more often. I think he’s lucky I don’t take control of them altogether. I think he’s lucky I didn’t remove the TV from the bedroom.

He also says he liked being wild. He didn’t want to go back in his cage. Buh. Buh. Buh. Too bad. You pushed your luck. Now you’re back in the cage. And I might not even give him his orgasm tonight although my criteria is that he has to be very horny and he certainly was last night. It’s amazing how he can go from being positive he’ll never get aroused again to being desperate for an orgasm all in the span of twenty-four hours. Silly boy.

When Lion was talking about his desire to be wild, first I said too bad, but then I asked him if he thought he wanted to be wild for good. He said what we always say: There’s a good reason he stays caged. It works. Then he asked if I would really let him stay wild. No, I wouldn’t. But he didn’t know that. I said we may have to work something out if he was going to go to the gym at work. Maybe a free weekday Lion. Maybe just the days he works out. We’ll have to figure it out. Then he told me I was too quick to agree to his being wild. He needs to hear that he won’t be wild. And here we are at the what-do-I-have-to-do-to-make-him-happy part of our program. I didn’t agree to his being wild. We were just talking. Certainly there may be days he needs to be wild if he’s going to the gym. If he were going on a business trip and I told him he had to wear the cage even though he had to go through airport security, that would be unreasonable. If he were showering where other people might see the cage and I told him he had to wear it, that would be unreasonable. For the record, I do not want him to be wild. The cage stays. End of story.

The other issue we encountered yesterday was that I told him I felt a little horny. He was very happy. He offered to help with that when he got home. The problem is that it doesn’t last long. It has happened before and it’s a fleeting moment. Happening as it did after I clamped down on his behavior, I knew he would think it was the exercise of power that turned me on. He said it has in the past. I don’t keep track of when I say I’m horny so I don’t know if there’s a correlation. I doubt it. I also know he’s eager to make more out of my brief glimpse of horniness than he should. Ironically, I was thinking of the same quote in Becker when I realized he could make the connection. Now he’ll think I like being in charge. Actually, I think all that happened was that I got to the end of his toddler rope and decided he needed to be reeled back in. Boys will be boys until they go just a little too far. Everyone needs a course correction from time to time. Yesterday was Lion’s turn.

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In: Female led relationship with discipline, Femdom, Lion's Journal, Punishment, Sex

Mrs. Lion growled at me in her post yesterday. She made it very clear that she didn’t like my growl about her not playing with me or waiting so long I couldn’t enjoy it. She hid the TV remotes. All she had to do was tell me I couldn’t watch. She wanted to make a point about my comment that I could pause the TV any time she told me she wanted to do something. I don’t know if you remember the sitcom, “Becker”. Ted Danson plays a grumpy family doctor. In one episode a teenage boy comes to Becker because he keeps getting spontaneous erections at odd times. He said (paraphrasing), “Once I was doing chores for my mom and I got one. Now she thinks I like doing them.” Today, when I read Mrs. Lion’s post I felt a distinct sexual twinge between my legs. I know that I hate that she said she would stop my TV watching and would lock me up Friday night instead of Sunday, but I got aroused. I can’t explain it, but I don’t like the implications. This was a very rare time when Mrs. Lion put her paw down. My head didn’t like it at all, but apparently another part of me did.

I shouldn’t be surprised. I did ask for FLM (Female Led Marriage) and domestic discipline, so some part of me wanted her to use her power. I truly didn’t like what she was going to do, but I liked that she did it. I learned two things from this: I had a positive sexual reaction to punishment that I truly didn’t want, and my reaction to what she said she was doing had a similar effect to playing with my penis. That is, the post was enough to start the hormones flowing and make me horny again. Last night Mrs. Lion edged me a couple of times which confirmed that mental stimulation is effective to keep me sexually interested. It wasn’t the same intensity she gets when she plays with me, but it was enough to light my pilot light. My scheduled orgasm is today and I am truly ready.

Last night you may have noticed that our site was unavailable now and then. This was due to scheduled data center maintenance and some security updates I had to do to my servers. I apologize if this inconvenienced you in any way. Mrs. Lion has promised extensive play and an orgasm today. I’ll tell you about it in my next post.

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In: Female led relationship with discipline, Mrs Lion Comments, Punishment, Sex

Lion likes to assume the worst. What I see as a week’s worth of getting used to his new job and how that affects the way things run around here, he sees as a loss for his libido and play time. It’s not enough that I said we’ll catch up on the weekend. He should know about trying to catch up on things since we’re trying to play catch up with our bills. It doesn’t happen overnight. Well it could, but I couldn’t make the weekend get here any faster. Believe me, I tried.

Today I was going to have a me day. Lion has had an extended, albeit unwanted, vacation for the past six months. Today was going to be my first me day in a long time. I had big plans. I had no plans. That’s what me time is. I was going to vegetate. Then life invaded. There are chores to do. I get it. Lion did a lot while he was home. I just wanted one day. Nope.

Lion is unhappy about being neglected. Understandable. I’m unhappy when he ignores me too. However, we spoke about the uncertainty of his new job. There were logistics we couldn’t control. By the time we get home we’re tired and then we need dinner and then we need showers and then we can settle in. Lion talks about pausing the TV. The other night when I went to take a shower he acted like he didn’t want to pause it so I could watch the show with him. But he wants to pause it to play. Okay. Last night he didn’t want to watch Jeopardy so he could turn on the football game. I’m going to tell him to pause the Giants when they are actually playing well so we can play? I don’t think so. Well, tonight that won’t be an issue.

I’m hiding the remotes. All of them. Living room, bedroom, Lion’s office – hidden. There’s nothing to pause if you can’t turn it on to begin with. Will I miss Jeopardy again? Yup. Will Lion be neglected tonight? Nope. Will I be able to resurrect Mr. Weenie from the dead? I don’t know but I’m going to try. And whether Mr. Weenie cooperates or not, Lion will be locked up again tonight. I know I said he was going to be wild till after his orgasm on Saturday or Sunday, but I’ve changed my mind. Don’t poke the lioness and you won’t feel her claws.

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In: Lion's Journal, Male Chastity, Sex

According to Mrs. Lion’s post yesterday, I will stay wild into the weekend. I do enjoy not wearing the cage. But it doesn’t make me horny or tempts me to do anything sexual. The big reason, other than I won’t  do anything on my own is that after three days of no stimulation, I lose interest. It isn’t incurable, but it does bother me that it happens at all. It’s natural; I know that. The older a man gets, the easier it is to abandon sex. I don’t have the stats at my fingertips, but libido drops off each year over fifty. One reason the vast majority of guys practicing enforced chastity are over fifty. Very few are under forty. In my case, it wasn’t flagging sexual drive as much as how exciting the thought of penis bondage is to me.

Based on my reading of posts and forum entries by men over fifty who I believe are not just writing fantasies, it seems that many are happy to have longer and longer waits. Some are happy to abandon orgasms permanently. I have no doubt that the decision is partly due to loss of sexual interest. The bonus is that the keyholder has been getting lots of orgasms so she is very happy to continue as sexual recipient. Most of the men report that they get sexual pleasure from their keyholders’ orgasms and substitute it for their own.

For a long time I found that hard to believe. I love my orgasms and I couldn’t see giving them up for any reason. But now that I have had no stimulation for most of the week, I can understand how that happens. Mrs. Lion reported that I had little interest in play. She said it was due to all the changes going on. I’m sure that is a big contributor. Another is that Mrs. Lion shows no real inclination to play until after 9 PM. Given I get about five hours sleep a night and as it gets later I get more itchy and tired, it isn’t surprising that my interest is low.

Mrs. Lion needs time to unwind and play iPad games. Unfortunately, when she is ready to go, I’ve past my play-before time. This isn’t a new issue. It’s come up before. I really can’t do anything. Time is not on my side. Every passing day without stimulation reduces my overall interest. Every evening when it passes 9 PM, what interest I had is gone. The general theory that the longer a man waits, the more desperate for sex he gets simply isn’t true for me. Every day without stimulation (edging or teasing) reduces my interest. If I’m watching TV, which is one reason I get for not playing earlier, I  can always hit “pause”. I know that Mrs. Lion says that I don’t show interest and that is a reason she doesn’t try. Of course, every day that goes by without teasing, the lower my hormones go and the less interested I am the next day.

I am sure that with an early start and her amazing lion-teasing skills, Mrs. Lion can revive me. Unfortunately,this isn’t just about sexual desire. For me, at least, there is an emotional cost. Each day as the 9 PM witching hour approaches I feel sad. It isn’t a bratty, “Why am I being ignored” feeling. It’s just my realization that I am getting too uncomfortable and tired even if she wants to play. I also realize that tomorrow I will be less interested. I’m not blaming Mrs. Lion. I think it is just my biological realities. My allergies get the best of me as the evening wears on and my ability to generate sexual hormones without stimulation prevents me from being horny the next day. I can get it all back with some attention from Mrs. Lion.

This has been a very instructive week. It’s proven to me that my initial assumption about enforced chastity that the male becomes more and more desperate for sex and becomes easier to control, was completely wrong. Over time, less for me, more for younger men, sexual interest will lessen and eventually disappear. In my case that doesn’t take long at all. I imagine at some point it becomes nearly impossible to reverse. I know Mrs. Lion won’t ever let that happen to me.