Orthogonal Kink

Things are orthogonal when they are statistically invariant. In other words, what happens to me does not depend on anything that happens to or for Mrs. Lion. One of the most unfair things I have done in our enforced chastity was to assume success depended on me giving Mrs. Lion orgasms. After all, most guys in cages provide substantial numbers of orgasms to their keyholders. The idea is that they “trade’ their orgasms for providing sexual pleasure to their mates. Some go so far as to say that they now get the same level of sexual satisfaction from giving their partner an orgasm that the formerly got from having one of their own. I can’t comment on whether or not this is literally true, but it isn’t an uncommon claim.

Mrs. Lion hasn’t wanted an orgasm for a very long time. Last June was the latest one. She says she is just not interested. At some level I have considered this a problem; a failing on my part to turn her on. She’s always insisted that isn’t the case. She just isn’t interested. So, our enforced chastity does not include providing any sexual pleasure to my keyholder. It’s all about my sexual frustration and eventual release.

I’ve never been very happy about this. I can’t help feeling selfish and worrying that there is no direct incentive for Mrs. Lion to continue. Of course she has continued and says there is no end in sight. She hasn’t shown any signs of resenting the effort she consistently makes on my behalf. She just does it because she knows it’s something I want. My enforced chastity is orthogonal to her sexual interests or lack of them. It exists in its own universe as a one-way kink benefiting me alone.

Actually, this isn’t all that unusual in the world of power exchange. Many female tops get no direct pleasure from torturing their male bottoms. They do it for reasons of their own, of course, but as a source of direct sexual pleasure is pretty unusual. One reason that some women charge money to top men is that the cash is something positive they get for their trouble. Sadly, the majority of male bottoms live in the delusion that women just can’t wait to top them because it is so much fun. As a male top, I quickly learned that topping is a lot of work and doing it just to get sex is mostly a waste of time. I never had a problem finding partners, so why add the physical labor of topping in order to get what I already had.

My point is that sex for a keyholder is orthogonal to the things she does to her caged male. I know that many do pretend that getting unlimited, guilt-free orgasms is a major reason they are keyholders. I would argue that if they looked deeper they would see that they could have had all the guilt-free sex they wanted far more easily. On the other hand, most of the guys I know about consider that providing endless orgasms for their keyholders is essentially the golden ticket to getting caged.

I believe that giving all those orgasms is yet another part of the classic male chastity fantasy. I admit it was part of mine. But it really has nothing to do with the kink at all. The kink is only about male orgasm control. Whether or not your keyholder wants orgasms does not change the experience. This fact is very relevant to all of us caged males. It makes no sense to associate giving your partner orgasms with your cock being caged. Face it, if she told you to lick her, cage or no cage, you would do it until she wanted you to stop. It’s just more fun to pretend you are being forced to do it.

The vast majority of power exchange is “forcing” the bottom to accept what he/she really wants. It’s not exactly smoke and mirrors, but it is wish fulfilling. Mrs. Lion is fulfilling my wishes. It’s a gift she gives to me. I am not trading anything for it. That’s why it’s a gift. Isn’t that true of you too?

Caged male half of a happy couple practicing enforced male chastity and domestic discipline. Locked since 1/2014. Domestic discipline 3/2015. Lion's first mouth soaping was 7/17.

What do you think?