This is the third time I have written this post. Each time just as I am about half finished, something else comes along that demands (in my mind, at least) my response. My first attempt was about how our relationship keeps evolving because enforced chastity has pushed us to communicate more. The second was about ruined orgasms and why I can’t seem to sense them coming, and now this, and hopefully my last attempt is about communication.
The ESP in the blogosphere seems to be working overtime. Steeled Snake wrote a post about improved communications in his relationship. Then, a few hours later, Thumper’s post was about the damaging effect of “drive by” comments. And, Mrs. Lion’s post was about our improved communications and her take on how to handle a no-play night. These may not seem closely related at first glance, but I think they are. Each post, in its own way, discusses changes, mostly positive in communications. Steeled Snake and Mrs. Lion discussed how our relationships have improved because of enforced chastity. Thumper wrote about how he has been hurt by thoughtless, or at least clueless, comments from readers.
Comment spam eventually infects every blog. As Thumper pointed out, his blog is about him, not reviews or discussion of external events. Of course our blog is about us and some of the most intimate details of our lives. The big thing all three of the posts have in common is to state that communications from people we know and trust tends to add to our lives. So, we all agree that our relationships and lives have been improved by a combination of our kinks and the very beneficial side effect of good communications the kinks provoke.
All of us, who blog on these subjects, for one reason or another exposed our lives to a great many strangers. We’ve invited these strangers to comment on what we write. When I started this blog, I hoped that comments would provide valuable feedback that would help our relationship get better. To a pretty large degree that has been the case. I’ve gotten most of the bullshit comments on our static pages (How to Get a Good Fit, etc.). The reason is that almost every reader gets directly to those pages as the result of a search.
Search traffic is great. It’s how a lot of our regular readers got here. But most of the traffic driven here by search engine queries is hit and run. These people read what they searched for and then leave. Some, feel the need to offer comments of generally poor quality. So, my reasoning is that by not allowing comments on those pages, the casual reader won’t get a chance to write clueless, frequently hurtful comments. Search engines also drive traffic to our posts as well. We do allow comments to our posts. I did some analysis and found that comments from people who know us and decide to respond to a post, do it within the first week of the post’s publication date. So, we automatically turn off comments after two weeks.
These changes have made a big difference in quality. They don’t seem to have affected people who have taken the time to get to know us. Like Thumper, our readers can also send us a direct message via Contact Us. I am on twitter (@thecagedlion) and I read it regularly. Every post is tweeted within a few minutes of publication, so responding to that tweet is another way to chat. If you follow me on Twitter, you will get a tweet each time there is a new post.
I like getting comments that offer constructive feedback, even if we disagree. I have no plans to turn them off. I am very hopeful that my fellow bloggers will choose to post about some of the things we write and open up a community dialogue. My decades in the real-life leather community have taught me that there is tremendous value in community. We bloggers read each other’s posts. I hope that Thumper shining the spotlight on pingbacks will prompt all of us to open a blogger dialogue.