Enforced chastity is a very rare kink. If it weren’t for the Internet, we would never find anyone else interested in it. I’ve been thinking about why this is so. The answer turns out to be obvious. Enforced chastity is a power exchange that is full time. Most BDSM (I hate that abbreviation, but people online understand it) is practiced in sessions. A top and bottom negotiate at a party or elsewhere, then for a period of time, generally an hour or two, engage in the power exchange. When it ends, both go back to their normal, vanilla lives.
This is generally easy for people to manage. The problems start to multiply when the activity goes full time. When that happens, the power exchange has to be integrated with all the other stuff in day-to-day living. That can be tricky. Enforced chastity is one kink that is fairly easy to integrate. As long as the device is undetectable and reasonably comfortable, all other normal activity can go on while the male is unable to enjoy sexual stimulation. Simple, right?
Well, no. I don’t know of any guy who just wants his cock locked up and then at some point released to ejaculate. It just doesn’t make sense for most of us. The chastity device is a symbol of our sexual submission; it isn’t the submission itself. If it were, there would be no need for keyholders. Guys with this inclination could lock up their cocks and at some interval unlock to jerk off. People do that. But it isn’t what most want. What we want is an active keyholder who will keep us acutely feeling our sexual submission. We want a power exchange, not a piece of steel jewelry.
It’s like the difference between marriage and a one-night hookup. Both generally include sex, but the marriage involves emotional investment that goes far beyond sex. The same is true for enforced chastity. It can be practiced alone or with a distant or disinterested keyholder. But it isn’t what we want. I’m lucky. Mrs. Lion is a very active keyholder who almost daily unlocks and frustrates me. She does things to keep me constantly aware of my submission and willing to do most anything for a chance to ejaculate. What a woman!
This is the ideal I think. Single men who want to experience enforced chastity can be an extremely vulnerable group who can be easily exploited. Their desire to experience the power exchange can become desperate. They will pay for a short e-books purported to be written by a “mistress” who will teach their nonexistent keyholder how to dominate them. The books feed the fantasy at a cost. Another way this group is parted with money is remote keyholders. These people (they say they are female, but who can tell on the Internet) charge a fee to receive the key to the chastity device. They also may get chastity “homework” from the remote keyholder. There is usually a charge for this. I don’t think that it is unfair to charge for these services. After all, they represent work that is being done to help people realize a fantasy. It’s a needed sexual service that is being filled thanks to these people.
A lot of people do part time enforced chastity. Lockup is restricted to a weekend here and there or some other schedule that meets the needs of the people involved. This is the enforced chastity equivalent of “scenes” in the BDSM world. This is much easier to do than the 24/7 variety. It isn’t that people who practice full time enforced chastity are better or more special than others. It’s just that we are few and far between. Many have this fantasy but few are ready to truly live it.
That’s why there are so few of us. Committing to a power exchange isn’t easy to do. It requires a lot of trust and even more communication. Over time these full-time power exchanges evolve to match the particular wants and needs of the people in them. That’s why when you read blogs written by people who have been doing this for a while, you will find very different perspectives. On this blog you can keep up with the way Mrs. Lion and I are growing in our power exchange. Thanks for reading.