Our marriage has improved greatly thanks to enforced chastity. I’ve been thinking about why this is so. I realized that one of the activities a lot of us do may offer a way for people to sustain intimacy and active sexual activity even if they aren’t involved in any kink.
As we males age, our sexual prowess diminishes. We take longer to recharge (refractory time) between ejaculations. It can take more stimulation to get hard. Our overall interest in sexual activity can decline significantly. That was certainly the case with me. I never was good at initiating sex and as I aged I got worse. Mrs. Lion was very unhappy that I wasn’t initiating and distance grew between us.
But now things are very different. I am almost always very interested in sex. It takes Mrs. Lion almost no time to get me hard and ready. Intimacy in our daily lives has grown significantly. I believe the change is due to an activity we call edging. People who practice enforced chastity understand this activity well. If you aren’t familiar with it, it’s stimulating the man until he is just about to ejaculate and then stop the stimulation. He is brought to the edge of orgasm, but if hi isn’t stimulated enough to actually have one. We do this as part of a power exchange. But if you take the power exchange away, the activity has a lot of value.
Ejaculation is the biological completion of male sexual activity.We males are wired to ejaculate any time we can. When we are of reproductive age we can have several ejaculations in an hour. As we age, we lose that ability. But if our partner edges us instead of giving us orgasms, we are ready to go again in seconds. As long as the ejaculation process isn’t initiated, we need almost no time to recover and do it again.
In the beginning I felt that edging cheated me of the pleasure I so badly wanted. Over time I have learned that each time I am edged I get 90% of the pleasure of an orgasm. I still want that extra 10%, but I still have fun. Sound kinky? It isn’t. Many cultures practice edging as a form of normal sex. To some it has spiritual significance.
Let’s go back to that marriage where sex has become almost absent. If the couple decides to try this, it starts out with the female partner learning how to get her man right to the edge without going over. Masturbating him and watching his reactions as he gets more and more aroused will give you a lot of information. The first time take him all the way to ejaculation. Give him a nice orgasm. Note any changes in him just as he gets ready to ejaculate. That’s your signal to stop when edging. It will take time to perfect. You don’t need to get him just one stroke away from ejaculation, just close enough that he experiences that amazing “I’m going to come” feeling.
After stopping, wait a few seconds and then touch his balls or otherwise let him know you are there for him, but stay away from his penis until you are sure he has calmed down. The repeat. An edging session can include as many cycles as you and he want. Eventually he will lose the ability to get to the edge and just get soft. He’ll be ready again in a few hours. For our purposes it’s better to avoid going that far.
As his partner, before, during, or after the edging you can have him give you orgasms. In the beginning restrict them to oral or hand release. The female partner can have all the orgasms she wants. But it is important that he not have one.
What about orgasms for him? He needs to get them too. You both have to decide how often. Bear in mind that after he has one his sexual interest will be significantly diminished for some time. This varies widely among men. You can experiment with the interval. I suggest starting with one a week and then increasing or decreasing time as you both want.
Regardless of how often he comes, it’s important that edging sessions take place very regularly. Some couples do it almost every day. Others every other day or even every third day. After he gets accustomed to non-orgasmic sex, the man will enjoy edging almost as much as orgasms. The woman will probably feel the same way. Each edging session is an opportunity for the woman to have orgasms herself.
After he learns to expect and manage edging, he can learn to delay orgasm himself. If he tells his partner when he is about to come, she can encourage him to hang in there and give him an extra stroke or two. Over time he will gain some ability to recognize when it is too late and he will ejaculate. Once he knows that, you can have intercourse without him ejaculating. Just let him stop when he gets too close and take a few seconds to recover. He can always finish his partner with his tongue or finger.
The reason edging is so helpful is that a couple can have sex without being restricted by the reduced ability of a man to have many orgasms. Make no mistake, edging is real sex to a man. It is to me! I get hornier after each session. By the fifth day I get hard like a 30 year old man almost the instant Mrs. Lion touches my penis. I love that feeling. Edging helps us defy age and lets us enjoy sex like much younger people. It takes some time and effort but it really paid off for us. We added the kink of a male chastity device and transfer of sexual power to Mrs. Lion. You don’t need to do that part unless it appeals to you. Edging is just as useful without the kink.
