Sometimes I feel like I am one more chore for Mrs. Lion to do. It’s a bit difficult to say this correctly. Mrs. Lion keeps me locked up and provides regular teasing because she knows it is something I want. Enforced chastity has done a lot for us as a couple, but the specific sexual activities are for my sole benefit. Mrs. Lion never sighs heavily as she takes out the key to my cage for a teasing session, but I get a strong impression that I am a chore that interrupts what she would rather be doing.
Maybe this is unavoidable in a situation where my lioness has no interest in sex for herself, but it makes me feel that I am a lot of trouble for her. Between my allergies and the cleaning they require and the teasing and orgasms for me, I am a lot of bother. My fantasies lately are about earning teasing and orgasm; doing things in exchange for stimulation. Usually they are sexual things. I wonder about why this is my favorite topic. I think the reason is that I am feeling guilty about just “taking” pleasure. I also find the idea hot in its own right.
I’ve always been indirect when asking if we are going to play. It just doesn’t feel right to demand attention when I am not providing any. One of the reasons I thought that enforced chastity would be especially good for us was that by putting all choice in Mrs. Lion’s hands, I wouldn’t feel guilty about wanting something I can’t reciprocate. I still feel guilty, but I think we are doing something that helps our marriage.
I can now understand why I avoided asking for sex before enforced chastity. It made me feel selfish. I just couldn’t initiate in a way Mrs. Lion liked. It was never her fault. It’s mine. Somewhere along the line I lost some of my sexual self-confidence. Ironically, it is returning now. I find myself easily able to ask Mrs. Lion if we can play. I also ask her if I can do something for her. For now, the answer to that last question is a very tentative “maybe”.
The problem is that we both feel guilty. Mrs. Lion feels that her lack of interest is responsible for me feeling badly and I feel that sex for me is another chore; cheerfully done, but just work for her. None of this touches directly on enforced chastity, but the practice forces this issue front and center. If we stopped enforced chastity today, the problem would still be there but we could more easily push it into the background. We agree we don’t want to do that.
This is a situation where nobody is doing anything wrong. We are so focused on each other that we are getting in our own way. I think that we need to talk more about this and look for ways we can overcome this. We are both doing the right thing. We should feel good about it, not guilty.