Lion does not like the idea of being wild for an extended period of time. I’ve been looking at it as a reward. He does not. He wants to feel my control. Yesterday I hit upon the idea that he should have to do some task while he’s wild that would allow both of us to get what we need out of the deal. My first thought was that he should have to get himself hard in front of me every hour on the hour. However, we both think that might be a slippery slope because he has not been allowed to touch himself sexually since shortly after he was locked away. I wouldn’t want to encourage any bad habits now.

I won’t say I’ve exactly been wracking my brain for ideas, but so far I’ve been coming up short. I know we have a cat collar, which I believe has a bell on it, that I could have him wear instead. That way he’d still have some sort of restraint on and he would jingle as he goes, but he would be somewhat wild. Of course, my old standby, diapers, are always a possibility. I’m pretty sure he would feel my control if he was wearing one of those. It’s difficult not to when you’re sitting in your own pee. I’ll keep thinking, but so far those are good options.

Last night Lion looked very nervous when I brought out the bag-o-fun. I made a show of pulling out the tiny clothes pins. Pretty pink ones and baby blue ones. I had no intention of using them, but he didn’t know that. I settled on the wooden ones although some had the sandpaper material on them. I know some of them were in tender spots, but it certainly wasn’t too much for him. Even when I brought out the Magic Wand and started vibrating the clothes pins, he took it like a trooper.

I edged him quite a few times and I don’t know how he managed not to come. I purposely went very close. It’s difficult to tell how close sometimes when I’m using the vibrator. But Lion held off. After three days with no play, he did very well. I was just about to tell him to put the ring back on, within five minutes or so of playing, when he gave me a strange look. I asked what happened and he wondered if I wanted the ring on. I was giving him a chance to calm down. I don’t like trying to jam him back into the cage. I’m more likely to pinch him when we rush it. We’ll have to find a happy medium. Or he’ll have to live with getting pinched. Life is full of compromises.

Most recently we have been talking about times when I am not wearing the chastity device. Mrs. Lion asked if I wanted to remain wild after this past weekend. I said I didn’t. Later she wrote about the fact that if she says I should be uncaged, then I will. No dispute from me. Her word is law. Yesterday, I wrote about my concerns (here) when left wild.  Mark wrote a comment that put this into sharper focus for me:

“… In particular, it would be really nice if, after she does release me for sex, she’d lock me back up again either right away, or at least the next morning. Somehow that would feel much more to me like my sexuality is hers to use as she – not I – pleases.”

I realized that when Mrs. Lion locks me up immediately after play or an orgasm, I feel more controlled than when she leaves me wild for some time afterward. She rarely waits more than an hour before the cage comes back on. For some reason, the closer to when she finishes her use of me that she locks me up again, the stronger my feeling of her control.

That immediacy has a very strong effect on me. It isn’t logical, but like Mark, the impact on me is strong when locked right away. I don’t lose the sense of Mrs. Lion’s control when she leaves me wild for days. It’s still there. I have to admit that I prefer to be caged. I like the feeling of physical restraint. Mrs. Lion knows very well what happens when she restrains me. The result is visible.

Thinking back, even at my most dominant, I got visibly aroused when just thinking about being restrained.  There is also a powerful erotic element to knowing that you are aware of every sexual activity I have. There’s an element of humiliation tied into that. I like it. That excitement comes more from reading Mrs. Lion’s revelations about my most intimate moments. When I share them, it’s not the same because I am controlling what you learn. Make sense?

None of this is uncommon. Study after study has shown that a great majority of people like the idea of the risk of public sexual exposure. They also like being tied up (about 85% as I recall). Spanking is an overwhelming favorite when it comes to kinky fantasies. Sexual surrender is very popular; at least in fantasies. I’m just lucky enough to actually live it.

Before we started enforced chastity, I worried about becoming an endless pit of submissive neediness. I’ve seen a lot of people fall into that. But it hasn’t happened. I may come up with more new stuff that Mrs. Lion can handle at any given time, but I am not emotionally dependent on submitting. It only takes one or two punishment spankings, for example, to remind me that I really don’t want more of them. On the other hand, Mrs. Lion’s fairly intense play spanking the other night found me hard the entire time.

The psychological and sexual dynamics of power exchange are much more complex than they appear on the surface. Everyone reacts differently. It doesn’t matter if you are the top or the bottom. The exchange will affect you in ways you may never imagined. I think ours has been very good for me. Yes, I want more, but not too much more at a time. I think I am becoming kinder and gentler as a result of my surrender. I wonder if Mrs. Lion agrees.

Yesterday was full of laundry, cooking, and football. Both of our teams lost and by the time we got ready to play, we were distracted by Lion’s Christmas present. I bought him a drone. I purposely got him a less expensive one figuring there would be a learning curve for flying and/or crashing. I didn’t want him to feel bad if he broke it. The problem is that I didn’t do a very good job with my research. The only way to see any video is by connecting it to an Android or iPhone. Lion has neither. So we’ve been trying to figure out what to do. Last night we were looking at the specs for a much more expensive one, but one that can do what Lion wants it to do. We discovered there’s a newer model for not much more money. It’s so new, however, that stock levels are low and I suggested we wait a few weeks to allow inventory to normalize after the Christmas rush. I’ll return the starter drone and we’ll go from there.

By the time we finished with visions of drones dancing in our heads, it was ten. No play time for Lion. I’ll make it up to him tonight. For now, he’s safely locked back in the Jail Bird as he requested. It was actually a fairly uneventful four day weekend. Of course, Lion got his orgasms, but the only play we did was a nice spanking on Friday night. Lion wanted to go to a casino Saturday so there was no time for play then. And last night we didn’t do anything. It was nice to be together for an extended period of time. Now we need to get back into our play rhythm.

I’m thinking I should have told Lion I wanted him to be wild this week, rather than asking if he wanted to be. Asking implies he has a choice. If I tell him I want him to be, then it doesn’t matter why. Because I said so. On the other hand, just because I thought it would be nice for him to be wild, it doesn’t mean he agrees. He doesn’t necessarily like to be wild while we’re camping even if I want him to be because it makes things easier for both of us. It’s no surprise we disagree. It’s sort of our M.O.

Lion remembered to remind me of punishment day this morning. He didn’t want the mean swats he got for forgetting on Thursday night. So far he has nothing on his list. I’m realizing now that I’ve forgotten to do his “just because” swats. Yet another thing that has to get back on track. His buns will be able to take much stronger punishment if I toughen them up.

We’re back to work today. I’m also back in my cage. The four-day weekend was great. Mrs. Lion and I had a no-pressure, lots-of-rest holiday. Our families are across the continent, so it was just the two of us. It felt very good to be together and relaxing. My cage came off on Thursday for my Christmas Eve orgasm (doesn’t everyone do that?) and stayed off until Sunday before bed. I had two great orgasms, one from Mrs. Lion riding me (reverse cowgirl) and the other with her hand. Just like normal folks! Well, almost. She did give me a play spanking on Friday before the hand release. Saturday, we went to a casino; she won and I lost. It generally works that way; one of us wins and the other loses.

The point is that we had fun without any power-exchange alterations. She remained in charge. I got sexual stimulation when she decided I should, and all of our rules were firmly in place. The only thing that wasn’t was my chastity device. We both know that the device isn’t needed for me to avoid unauthorized stimulation and orgasm. However, being unlocked did mean that I was able to get some really nice morning erections. I do like them! It was also easier to shower and use the toilet. A bit of less work for lion. Nice.

I don’t fully agree with Mrs. Lion’s post yesterday. I don’t think of the Jail Bird as a security blanket. It’s more of an insurance policy. I believe, probably erroneously, that if it stayed off, Mrs. Lion would forget to tease me. We went through a lot of years of almost-no sex. I worry that could repeat itself if I am not locked up. In that sense she is right. It makes me believe that all is well and I will continue receiving regular teasing and orgasms. I’m not sure that worry will ever disappear. It’s nothing she does. I just worry.

Of course the other big reason I like being locked up is that it turns me on. I love bondage in general, and the cage in particular. Unlike any other form of power exchange that I know of, enforced chastity doesn’t require me to be a submissive. I can remain as dominant as I want to be while still being under sexual control. It works that way because no matter how much I like to be in charge, if I want my penis to get stimulated I’m going to have to earn Mrs. Lion’s desire to give me sexual attention.

It’s no different than obeying the law. You don’t have to be submissive to actively work to be law abiding. It isn’t because you are submissive to cops. It’s that you know the consequences of law breaking are to be avoided. The same is true with enforced chastity. I agreed to be locked up. That decision, which you could reasonably consider submissive, permitted Mrs. Lion to take charge, not only of my sexuality, but of anything else she wishes. My testosterone will convince me to be docile and obedient. My cock is under lock and key and she has the key. Need I say more?