I edged Lion last night and made his horniness much worse. I put clothes pins on his boobies and balls. I made him squirm. It’s good for him to squirm once in a while. Then, as we were getting ready for bed, he said sometimes he doesn’t want to be in the cage anymore. The conversation when something like this:
Lion: “What would happen if I said I didn’t want to be in the cage anymore?”
Mrs. Lion: “We would discuss it.”
Mrs. L: “Because there may be a valid reason for not wanting to be in the cage anymore.”
L: “Mrs. Lion 2.0 should say, ‘Suck it up, Buttercup.’ “
Mrs. L: “You don’t see anyway there would be a valid reason for not being caged?”
L: “It shouldn’t be because I don’t want to be in the cage anymore.”
When Lion asks this question I usually realize way too late that he wants the “suck it up, Buttercup” answer. My mind immediately goes to wondering what a valid reason would be for unlocking him for good. Hint: it’s not because Lion wants a wild weenie so he can take care of business on his own. On the way to work this morning I was thinking of valid reasons. What if he got a job that had him going through security/metal detectors? What if poor circulation reduced blood flow to his favorite organ? What if he decides he doesn’t want to be my Lion anymore? I’m sure there are other valid reasons, but my commute is only 30-40 minutes long and that’s all I came up with. My point is that there may come a time when the cage has to go. It’s not a decision that will be taken lightly by either of us.
In the spirit of Mrs. Lion 2.0, however, I’ve decided that the statement, “Mrs. Lion 2.0 should say, ‘Suck it up, Buttercup.'” will be met with a punishment. Telling me what I should or shouldn’t do is not acceptable. A more appropriate statement might have been, “I was expecting you to say…” Mrs. Lion 2.0 should say what Mrs. Lion 2.0 says and not what Lion thinks Mrs. Lion 2.0 should say. Lion can offer suggestions and ideas, but what should happen is not up to him. Lion can tell me what he hopes will happen. In limited circumstances he can tell me how he would have done it when he was in charge. He can even say what he should have done or should do. But there will be no more “shoulds” directed at me.
For those of you keeping score, Lion now has two things on his punishment list. He dropped food on himself last night and he “should-ed” me. I wouldn’t want to be his buns around 8 pm. Poor Lion.