Mrs. Lion’s announcement of her new Lionessrelease brought me some mixed feelings.The first is happiness. Lioness promises to supply the control and discipline that I have been asking for since we began. In fairness, Lioness 1.0 had evolved through interim releases that brought considerable control and painful discipline into my life.
The big difference now, as I see it, is that in the past Mrs. Lion made changes because she knew it would make me happy. I realize that the entire reason we are pursuing enforced chastity,, and domestic discipline is at my request. But now, while I am credited for starting all this, Mrs. Lion has apparently decided that the way things happen going forward won’t be a response to my wishes, but instead will be her own interpretation of what we are doing.
In other words, Lioness’s most significant feature is the understanding that I don’t feel controlled if I am the source of what she does to me. I may give her ideas, but what she does with them has no input from me. More significantly in terms of change, my reactions to her decisions and ministrations are not going to have any effect on what she is doing. Now that is real control.
If I have things right in terms of her new approach, I will be aroused when I think about my loss of control and will be sorry when she goes into action. That has certainly been the case with spanking. It’s hot to think about, but miserable when she gets going. I am a much more careful lion than I used to be. Those spankings really hurt a lot. If she adopts the newer concept of administering a group of swats then waiting before the next, she will be able to go on much longer. The longer she swats, the more likely I will feel the results the next day.
She sent me an email yesterday that in the shower she was thinking about extending my orgasm date. Her shower idea was that if I don’t do a proper job giving her an orgasm, then I will have to wait longer. When she sent the email, she wrote that she wasn’t sure she was ready yet for her next orgasm. I have a feeling that little detail won’t stop her from making me wait longer if she wants.
She only delayed my orgasm once before. It was a one day delay as a punishment. I really hated it. Unanticipated change upsets me, waiting longer to come is a little like being made to wait for Christmas presents until some time after the big day. While I like to pretend that waiting is no big deal, right now I am nearly insane with the desire to come. Even if she does post-orgasm torture to the head of my penis, I will be happy to get the orgasm. In a way, I’m looking forward to that too.
I don’t know if other guys have similar feelings. Things I absolutely hate when they are happening, turn me on when I think of them with a little distance after the actual pain. I think that it is less that I am a masochist than I am turned on by Mrs. Lion’s raw power over me. I think she realizes that I really hate those things she does, but I like the control over me that it shows. I have a slightly different sense of punishment. I like that she wants to modify my behavior to make me a better lion; or if not that, her lion.
While it is a lot of work for her, I benefit emotionally and behaviorally when she is strict and demanding. As a former dominant, finding the right balance for both of us is a difficult task and requires a lot of trial and error. I think that Lionessunderstands my underlying emotional reality.
Based only on my own experience, taking the control and exercising it brings her closer to me. You don’t have to love authority and power to build intimacy by asserting that control. As my vulnerability and blind acceptance of her control grow, I expect she will find increased intimacy and closeness to me.