As Mrs. Lion wrote yesterday in her post, there was no weekend “activity” last weekend. Lioness 2.0 wrote she isn’t going to let that get by. This week there will be a substitute activity. I don’t know what it is yet (I’m writing this on Monday night), but I can be sure I will want to grumble. You may wonder why she is being so consistent about finding things for me that I will almost certainly hate. It isn’t that she doesn’t love me; far from it. The reason is very sensible.
A year ago, she might have told you that she makes me do these things, like wear a diaper for a weekend, because she knows I want to do them. I think she now knows that isn’t really the case. As Lioness 2.0 now understands, you can’t demonstrate dominance by “making” someone do what they want to do. I’m turned on by bondage. So, tying me up doesn’t demonstrate Mrs. Lion’s power. It turns me on because I like it.
Let me be clearer. It isn’t that she should never do things that I like or like to hate. It’s just that to drill her dominance into my thick head she has to make things happen I don’t want at all. I don’t like sitting in a wet diaper, or a dry one for that matter. Each squish reminds me that this isn’t for my pleasure; it’s for my education. I suppose if I were naturally submissive, none of this would be needed. I would delight in my role without the hateful activities. It’s clear I’m not submissive by nature; quite the opposite. But here I am learning to submit to Mrs. Lion.
Over the last couple of years we’ve learned a lot. One of the lessons is that I can’t be permitted to feel in control with my lioness. I may pick what’s for dinner, but it doesn’t mean she can’t veto my choice and we have something else. I may like spanking, at least in a BDSM scene, but I hate being punished with one. So, I am regularly spanked to punish me for any infraction, no matter how small. Aside from helping me learn to do better, the spanking underlines who is in charge. Not me.
I used to think that over time I would “learn” to submit and do it without thinking. I don’t think that anymore. I believe I will learn to be automatically obedient and better at following rules. But I don’t think I will learn to simply accept being submissive the way someone who is naturally that way. That means Mrs. Lion’s role as activity director will probably have to continue consistently to remind me that while I may be king of the jungle, I am Mrs. Lion’s pet.
My job is one where I am in charge of many… As such I have always had the desire to be sexually submissive. But in all other aspects of my life I do tend to be dominant. My wife isn’t interested in a FLM. And I don’t know how I feel about it. I do want the chastity lifestyle that we are trying. So we will see how it goes!