Sit! Stay!

I forgot Lion likes all the doggy training stuff. I really have no idea why I whistled and snapped my fingers at him the other night. Somewhere around here I think we have a dog bowl that one of his former tops made him eat out of. [Lion – I don’t remember that happening.]  It was something that 1.0 couldn’t get her head wrapped around. 2.0 doesn’t care. 2.0 is doing what Lion wants whether Lion wants it or not. Last night the collar came back out. I told Lion to put it on and, knowing it might take some getting used to, allowed him to take it off to sleep if it was too uncomfortable. I was going to decide today whether it would become a fixture, like his nakedness, but he can’t leave things alone and asked if he should wear it all the time now. 2.0 thought, “Fuck it.” and told him yes, he should wear it when he gets home. Apparently when 2.0 is questioned she decides to make life a little more difficult for Lion, although I think it was the answer he was looking for. Yes, it may be more uncomfortable, but he loves this dog thing. [Lion – I like the obedience thing and the humiliating doggy style…at least I think I do. It’s new to me too.]

So far today, Lion has sent me two emails telling me how much he likes the dog commands. Maybe that’s why he’s been getting in my way so much. He’s trying to imitate the dog. I’ll need to tell him to sit and stay while I do things. Maybe I need to attach a leash to the table leg and tie him there. I bet he’d love that too. [Lion – Yup, at least for a little while. It might stop being fun very quickly] For the record, I still think treating him like a dog is ridiculous, but 2.0 is charging forward. Full steam ahead. Over the top. I think Lion might draw the line at a flea dip or poodle trimming, but is it his line to draw anymore? Remember, 2.0 is a bitch.

Until further notice, Lion’s uniform consists of no clothes and a collar. He may still wear a T shirt if he’s cold. The collar must be worn when we are home unless other people will be present. If we are working in the yard, he must wear the collar with his clothes. For now, he will not be required to wear it in public. He may remove it for shaving and showering. He must sleep in it unless it becomes too uncomfortable. If he removes it for any of the reasons allowed, he must put it back on as soon as possible. He must ask for approval to remove it at any other time.

I think making him eat from a dog bowl is a bad idea. He’s messy enough when he eats with a knife and fork. Can you imagine how many swats he’d get for spilling food? Even 2.0 doesn’t want that.