Our posts over the last couple of weeks mention Lioness. For reasons neither of us understand, she decided to become stricter and less interested in whether I am enjoying what she does to me. Let me be clear that I consider this to be a very good thing. I don’t think it is such a good thing when activities start getting very intense. But given the distance of a few hours from the activities, I acknowledge that she is doing exactly what I want.
This is the first time in my life that I am truly not in control, particularly when we play.is not going to stop what she is doing just because I am unhappy at the moment. Of course she will stop if I am in genuine distress. We don’t currently have a safe word. She trusts me to report honestly if things go a bit too far. We also don’t have a signal to “slow down”. Part of her control is that she decides how much buildup I get. I agree with that decision.
Our play is much more intense. She wants me to really feel what she is doing. I think that this is just the beginning. Sensibly, she is not starting at full intensity. She is learning to judge how much I can take versus how much I want. I’m beginning to learn to take what she gives without needing to be tied down. I’m not very good at that. Punishment spankings, particularly when she hits a certain spot become too much for me and I try to either get away or verbally stop her. So fardoesn’t stop immediately, but she does seem to turn down the force and end the spanking
I don’t expect that to last. I have no idea how I will learn to handle it when she keeps going. I suspect that when things get that serious, I may need to be tied down. I am fine when she hits other parts of my butt. There is this one spot that sends me through the ceiling. I don’t recall any bottoms I have spanked reporting anything like this. I don’t expect or wantto avoid the spot. I just have no clear idea how to learn to improve my ability to receive her spankings. Any suggestions?
My inability to overcome this bothers me a lot. I think I have improved in my bottoming in the other areas we have tried. I can handle anal penetration and I am making progress with. But spanking seems to be an activity I am not learning to manage. I understand it hurts; and in the case of punishment, should hurt a lot. My unacceptable reactions seem involuntary. I know they aren’t. But I can’t help myself.
Other people regularly handle much more severe spankings without even a whimper. It’s become important to me to be able to accept a severe spanking without squirming away. Mrs. Lion will not put up with too much of my escape attempts and complaints; at least I hope she won’t. I just have no idea how to do better in this area and it frustrates me.