Month: March 2016

Lion told me some interesting stats yesterday. He had five orgasms in January, four in February, and three so far in March. If he follows this trend he’ll only have two in April, one in May, and then, oh sorry, Lion, none in June. Does that mean he’d start to go negative in July? How do I take back an orgasm? I bet 3.0 would be able to figure that out, but she isn’t here yet.

Luckily, 2.0 has Lion orgasms scheduled for June. Not July though. She just hasn’t gotten that far. I’m sure there will be at least two in any given month. I actually can’t believe Lion has only has three in March. While that may seem like a lot in some other chastity relationships, Lion’s average is usually higher. We aren’t concerned with long waits. Our focus is how horny Lion is and when 2.0 wants to take an orgasm from him. A scheduled date is merely a guide. When 2.0 wants him to orgasm, she makes him. When she wants to torture him and make him wait, he waits.

Yesterday was Lion’s scheduled date. Recently we changed from the scheduled date meaning a definite orgasm to the earliest date he could have an orgasm. Of course, 2.0 can do whatever she wants. Lion wasn’t going to have an orgasm last night regardless of any stats. Now he certainly won’t have one tonight. I can’t ruin the trend right now. That would be silly. Besides, 2.0 was going to make him wait a few days beyond the scheduled date anyway. Why? Because she’s a mean bitch and, despite his objections, Lion wants to wait for an orgasm too.

It is getting increasingly difficult for him to wait though. Last night he was humping my hand and getting very close. Very close. It’s fun to watch him work so hard at it. When I was done with him I actually told him I was done with him and he should put his ring back on when he had calmed down. I’ve threatened him with ice cubes as a means of softening him up more quickly. Given how hard and excited he’s been lately, I may have to follow through with that threat. Part of him, and I know exactly what part, would hate that. Another part of him would love it.

[Lion — I’ve stayed very horny for two weeks the one time we had that long of a wait this year. I think more than an orgasm a week is a bit much. Twice a month might frustrate the hell out of me but is certainly not going to make me lose interest during my wait. I’ve never waited an entire month, so I have no idea how that would feel. I’m not sure I want to find out. Of course 2.0 will do exactly as she pleases. What I want or can take has nothing to do with her decisions.]

I’ve been writing and talking about a stricter 2.0. This prompted her to write a bit about my desire to be securely locked even more of the time. I pointed out that leaving me wild in the shower, for example, gives me an opportunity to masturbate unobserved. She said that if I did this, she would either unlock me and end enforced chastity or punish me. She isn’t sure which.

That comment started me thinking about how things have changed. In the beginning, enforced chastity was my “thing”. Mrs. Lion acted as my keyholder out of a desire to make me happy. Under those circumstances, ending enforced chastity would be the appropriate response to such a blatant defiance of what I wanted. Now, over two years later, I think that things are completely different.

Should I commit the sin of jerking off when not authorized and Mrs. Lion decides that we will end enforced chastity, a lot more will happen than no longer indulging my fantasy. We’ve evolved what started as a sexual game into the linchpin of our sexual relationship. If the cage comes off, how do we maintain the intimacy we have? There is no incentive for her to tease me. That was part of enforced chastity. She isn’t interested in sex for herself so there is no motivation for mutual sexual contact.

I think we would return to our past, unsatisfactory sexual distance. Mrs. Lion and I have discussed what might happen if I got tired of being locked up. She made it clear that is no longer an option for me. The reason: the risk of losing our sexual intimacy and other benefits we both enjoy. This is no longer my kink. It’s a key part of our relationship. So, ending it would be destructive to a lot more than my chastity fantasy.

If you wonder how this could happen since I know how important it is to surrender my sexuality, the answer is fairly simple. Assume I am daydreaming about something sexual while in the shower. I’m uncaged and my hand wanders into forbidden territory. It feels good and before I know it, I come. There is no excuse for it, but it could happen. I’m sure that most guys have had similar experiences. So far I have been extremely careful to no have such thoughts when wild.

Let’s assume I do this. What should Mrs. Lion do when she finds out? Since enforced chastity is so important to us both, ending it is probably off the table. Punishment must be administered. I have no idea what she would do, but I am very sure I wouldn’t forget it. The switch from abandoning the kink to punishing for a serious infraction is an indicator of how important enforced chastity has become for us. That’s why I am writing this. My sexual behavior is not only controlled by my lioness. She owns it absolutely and isn’t going to return it to me, ever.

A reason I wrote about stricter caging is based on my realization that we need to avoid giving me any opportunity to sexually touch myself. Yes, I have excellent self control. But enforced chastity is a 24/7/365 practice. Opportunities to mess up need to be avoided. As I see it, the less possibility of a “mistake” the better for me and for us.

That means I probably shouldn’t have any time when my penis is available and I am not directly supervised. No more “wild” showers unless Mrs. Lion is watching me. No RV weekends uncaged. If I am uncaged to use the bathroom, direct supervision should be supplied. The reason we use a locked chastity device is to make unauthorized sexual touching impossible. Since the consequences of an “accident” would resonate through our relationship, that locked device is much more than a symbol. It prevents a problem that would be difficult to handle.

[Mrs. Lion – I can see Lion’s point about a lapse in concentration in the shower. However, that implies that if he were not caged, a similar lapse in concentration could result in his cheating with another woman. I’m not sure how I would handle that. It would certainly take him a long time to regain my trust. Cheating in the shower may not be as severe an offense as cheating with another woman, but with our relationship at stake, why take a chance?]

One of my favorite things is getting Lion hard in my mouth. Feeling him grow with the subtle movements of my tongue – sometimes no movement at all – makes me feel some power. He’s in a very vulnerable position. I could cause him great pain, or give him wonderful pleasure. It all depends on how I move my mouth. I also like the control I have over edging him. I can speed up or slow down. I can put more pressure in certain areas. I can concentrate on the area just below the head. I can stroke all the way down as my lips hold him tight. Yup. It’s my favorite way to drive him crazy. I think it’s his too. [Lion — Yup. It is.]

For a long time I didn’t feel this way. Since I can’t see his face, I wasn’t sure when he was getting close. Practice, practice, practice. Now I can tell when I need to stop. Usually. Sometimes I still go too far. Not last night. I stopped just in time a few times. And then I went right back at him. Pure torture. And he loved it. Although I do think he was a bit dazed by the time I was done. Right now he’s so horny I’m sure he wishes today was his definite orgasm day. He actually seemed like he was in pain when I stopped. Don’t worry, Lion. You’ll have your orgasm soon. [Lion — I’m very happy waiting. I had big fun last night.]

In the meantime, 2.0 has been doing some research. She looking for something different to do with Lion. Maybe a new technique. Maybe a new toy. Something that will surprise Lion that she’s found. There are a lot of possibilities out there and she’s taking her time to find just the right thing. This doesn’t necessarily mean there will be a delay in Lion’s orgasm. She’ll know when it’s time for that and the search for other fun is independent of his orgasm. But wouldn’t it be fun if she could surprise him with the new thing for his orgasm? But she knows Lion will be very happy no matter how or when he has his orgasm. The sooner the better if you ask him.

I’ve been thinking about how my surrendering my sexual satisfaction and authority in our relationship can improve the way Mrs. Lion and I relate. We started with a happy marriage and now, thanks to enforced chastity and FLR, have an even happier one. The classic explanation for this improvement is that I am a submissive lion who finally gets to give up control, or Mrs. Lion was a closet dominant who is now able to rule the den.

Both of those explanations are too glib. They assume there are hidden personality traits that finally have been allowed to express themselves, thus making us happier. That isn’t the case. Before we started enforced chastity, we had a sexual problem. Mrs. Lion was angry that I didn’t initiate sex and I felt guilty I couldn’t. We rarely discussed this issue and never came up with a workable solution. We had a sexual power vacuum. Mrs. Lion wanted me to fill it and I wanted the same from her.

I think a lot of couples have similar power vacuums. They may not be sexual. These vacuums could be about finances, child rearing, decisions about social activities, etc. They can also be more subtle. I tend to interrupt Mrs. Lion when she is speaking. In the past she let me and held back on the anger my interruptions caused. There are other situations where I just disregarded her feelings as well. Her anger would build up and eventually come out in a way not appropriate to the triggering situation. The same is true with me as well. I would be afraid to upset her by asking her to take better care of something at home. My bottled-up feelings would build until I became sullen and grumpy.

When we decided to take up enforced male chastity, sexual initiation was part of the power I surrendered to Mrs. Lion. Early on, she decided to “assign” initiation to me as part of the power exchange. We tried it. It didn’t work for her. But it was a fair use of her power. Over the last couple of years we’ve tried lots of things. I’ve suggested many of them, but I couldn’t implement them. I don’t have the power. Mrs. Lion decides what we do or don’t do. We agreed to extend her power to our relationship in general. She has the last word on everything, including my behavior. She punishes me for disobedience or failing to follow a rule.

This, like enforced chastity, sounds very BDSM. In some ways it is. But that’s not what has made our marriage better. I think it is the fact that we have no more power vacuums. In our case, I surrendered power to my lioness and she accepted. Over time she has exercised her power more and more. I haven’t stopped doing my share. I still pay the bills and do the other things I’ve always done. But  now I have to ask permission before taking any action. Mrs. Lion is learning to accept that she can veto any decision I want to make.

All of this is happening slowly. Over time she has incorporated her power into our relationship. She is capable of painfully spanking me when I break a rule. It isn’t sex play.It’s real punishment and we both think of it that way. Every so often we make a small leap. Each one reduces my autonomy and increases her self confidence. I know that she feels that she is just improvising as she goes along. That’s partially true. But each time an improvisation works and makes things better for us, she remembers it and it becomes part of our day-to-day lives.

I still make lots of suggestions on how our power exchange could work. She tries many of them. The ones that work, she keeps. Ironically, the ones that work often make my life more difficult or my butt redder. That’s too bad. She has learned that it is up to her if I am punished. I have no vote. My chastity device stays on whether or not I get tired of it and want it off. The power vacuum is gone. Mrs. Lion has it all.