Are We Actually Doing It?

We’re still under the weather. It’s taking us a surprisingly long time to get enough energy to take care of normal, vanilla activities. I haven’t had a lot of time to think about FLR or enforced chastity. I did note yesterday that’s it’s been a year since we agreed to add FLR to our marriage. I asked Mrs. Lion how she thought we were doing. She replied that we do have rules and she has enforced them. That’s true. I asked her to think about how she now sees FLR and where she wants us to go with it.

For my part, it’s all to easy to forget that this is a female led relationship. It’s not that I take control whenever I can. It’s just that things don’t feel  that different to me. That, in itself, doesn’t mean Mrs. Lion isn’t doing her job. Not at all. She’s been great. It’s me. I guess I need regular reminders of what we are doing. By that I don’t mean that I need to feel oppressed or like Cinderella Lion. I just need small signals that clearly tell me who is in charge.

Interestingly, a new post was published on a blog I read. “Real Women Don’t Do Housework” has a new post titled, Reminding Him.The disciplining wife who writes that blog discusses the exact issue I am writing about from the male side. Even if I am doing everything I should, I think it is easy to just let that be the norm and allow the underlying power exchange fade into the background. This has nothing to do with 2.0 and I being sick. It’s been going on for a while. This is one of those subtle things that happens when changes become the norm.

Power exchanges need maintenance. Simple things like an unearned, painful spanking, or other 2.0-type activities that make it clear I am not in control refocuses my mind. It seems irrational that I could just accept what we do as routine. After all, I am continuously locked in a chastity device. But that device, while a very strong symbol of her power, fades into the background of my day-to-day life. I know why it is there and it does its job. I also am very aware who put it there. I can never forget that.

But it is now just part of my life. It provides security and good feelings to wear it, but ti doesn’t keep Mrs. Lion’s authority in the front of my mind. I think that this is one of the most significant challenges that any dominant partner faces; how to maintain the power exchange without continually escalating the severity of the activities. How do you do it in your relationship?

What do you think?