I Play One at Home
Sometimes Lion writes a post that seems to say I have everything all figured out. He’ll say I’m planning this or have decided that. I guess it’s good that I give the outward appearance that I know what I’m doing most of the time, but I usually have no plan or earthly idea what the heck I’m doing. Remember a long time ago when there was a commercial with a soap opera doctor who said, “I’m not a doctor, but I play one on TV.”? He was selling Rolaids or something and you should listen to him because he plays a doctor. Sometimes I feel like saying, “I’m not a top, but I play one at home.”
What I really do is put on my Mrs. Lion hat. Lately that hat has morphed into a 2.0 hat. Same concept. When I am my alter ego, I seem more confident. I seem to know what I’m doing. I can be mean to Lion. I can punish him even when I know he’s done. I can peg him longer than I know he wants me to. I can do all the things he wants me to do even though he doesn’t want me to do them right that second. I can be stronger than I really am because of the hat.
Sometimes the hat goes missing. The other day I was out of ideas for things to do to Lion. An entire house of toys, and I had no ideas. How can that be? I think, by the time I got home and it was time to play, I’d found the hat. Sometimes, like last night, I just don’t put the hat on. I guess you could have seen it as a 2.0 maneuver of exerting power by not playing with Lion. He doesn’t need to be played with every night, after all. I can leave him whimpering in the corner. But I know he needs attention.
So what I need to do is keep better track of this hat and make sure it doesn’t get lost too often. Lion needs consistency. 2.0 is up for the job, as long as she shows up.