I’ve been thinking about our enforced chastity and what made it work. I can’t claim that we had a grand plan and by following it, succeeded. There is no grand plan. There never was. Most guys start off in enforced chastity attempting to turn a very hot sexual fantasy into reality. Chances are very good that the person they select as keyholder has never heard of this kink before.
Let’s assume you are the female partner in a vanilla relationship. One evening your partner tells you that he wants to be locked in a male chastity device. He shows you one. You love him a lot. So you ask him to explain what he wants. He tells you about his fantasy. He wants you to put this device on his penis and then leave it there until he is exploding with desire. He tells you that by doing this, he will focus only on you and will spend his life pleasing you in any way he can.
You are skeptical. You wonder if he has been holding back all these years and only by locking him up, will discover he can do so much more. That doesn’t feel like an incentive to you. In fact, this fantasy seems completely unrealistic. On the other hand, you don’t see any immediate downside, so you say yes. He puts on the device. It looks uncomfortable. He hands you the lock and keys. He shows you where to put the lock. You lock him in. Now what?
If he is smart, he kisses you and thanks you for doing this for him. If he isn’t, he’ll start telling you what you should do now. It will be an unrealistic list of activities, most not particularly interesting to you. He is very excited and you can see that his penis is trying to get erect in its cage.
At this point you may decide to indulge him and try to do the things he asks. If the list isn’t too long or annoying, you fall into a rhythm of activities and waiting. You still don’t see what he gets out of it, but you are reasonably comfortable indulging him. After a while, he may get tired of the game and want to get out. Or, he will escalate his list of “shoulds” until you feel overwhelmed and call an end yourself.
There is a third path: success. This involves changing the game. As his keyholder you recognize that under all his fantasy talk, he is asking for a simple power exchange. The fantasies revolve around the idea that you make him want sex, but deny him until you feel like letting him ejaculate. That’s it. The other stuff is sexual fantasy he has used to masturbate.
Once you recognize this simple truth, it’s fairy easy to provide him with exactly what he wants without the burden of his masturbatory fantasies. You realize that while he may want indefinite lockup, he is accustomed to sex of some kind fairly regularly. He doesn’t realize how difficult long waits will be at first. So you start him off with a nice handjob every five to seven days. You realize that his desire is to be controlled, so every day or two you unlock him and masturbate him to the edge of orgasm a few times and lock him up again.
This increases his desire and reinforces your sexual control. You can do other things too. While he is locked up, you can have him please you with his mouth or hands. My suggestion is to avoid penetration for the first month or two. He can misinterpret penetration as taking back control. Over time, you can increase his wait. It will take a while for him to learn to manage less frequent orgasms, but if you gradually increase his time, he will learn. Go from a week to ten days; then go to two weeks. Gradually increase the waits to the level you wish. Many men, even with regular teasing, will start to find it easier and easier to manage their desire as the longer waits go on. So, as a good keyholder, when you see that subtle drop off in interest, you give him an orgasm and start the frustrating process all over again. This can be fun for you.
This is just one approach. You will most likely come up with one of your own. The point is that acting out his chastity fantasies will probably not work over time. Coming up with your own approach can turn enforced chastity into a permanent part of your lives. That’s what happened with us. Mrs. Lion experiments and learns what works for us both. We’ve discovered that enforced chastity has benefits far beyond sexual play. So, if I ever get tired of it, tough luck! I’m locked up for life.